Mes Bijoux

Rough Edges

2012-01-25T12:05:00.001-07:00

Last night, Steve spent a few hours upstairs putting together a desk for me. Now that he's home in the evenings, we thought it would be good for me to have a place to do homework away from the distractions that he causes by just being himself and me loving him so much. Hence the new desk.

While he worked on assembling the desk, I sat downstairs doing homework. And giggling every so often. The man is pretty good with tools and following directions, but things didn't seem to be going his way last night. Every so often I could hear him ranting about the stupid instructions or drawer or whatever. Sadie would look at me each time he got loud, seeming to ask, "What is he doing up there?"

My husband is an ammo trooper with the AF. These men can cuss as good, or better, than any sailor you could imagine. Not being a cusser myself, it has been a little shocking at times, but it's something I don't bother to worry about too much. These men are also some of the best men I've ever met, especially my husband. Steve swears less than some of his friends but definitely could match them if he so desired.

So, imagine my surprise when the words that were coming out of his mouth last night were "fudge", "darn", "shoot", and other nonsense words instead of the stream of profanity that could have been. It made me realize that, without ever talking about my dislike of profanity, I have had an impact of Steve, me and my non-cussing family and friends. Some of his rough edges are becoming smooth.

He's not the only one in our relationship that has rough edges. While walking Sadie today, I thought about some of my own rough edges that Steve is smoothing out. Poor guy, I think his job is harder than mine; my rough edges are complicated.

In my favorite book, Fahrenheit 451, the old English professor told Montag about how he had been a chunk of wood when he was younger that had slowly, in time, become more refined, smoother, by his involvement with people and with learning. It's one of my favorite parts of the book, one that I think about often as I see how I have been refined by the people and experiences in my life. It gives me hope that someday I'll be a polished, smooth piece of wood instead of the chunk of rough edges I am.

Yellow Stripe

2012-01-20T12:52:00.009-07:00

Yesterday, after arriving home from work, I took Sadie on our daily afternoon walk. The weather was warmer than I had expected, and I enjoyed the walk immensely despite the rain.

Actually, the rain helped make the walk so enjoyable. Sadie and I walked the path along the Weber River, and the smells of trees, grass, dirt, undergrowth, and water seemed magnified by the rain. I felt peaceful, energized, and happy while we walked along, soaking up the sights, smells, and sounds of the river and its surroundings.

The rain was probably light enough to warrant not using an umbrella, but I've fallen in love with my most recent, so gladly brought it along. It is the kind that curves down enough to actually protect my head from precipitation - if I hold it down so my head almost hits its top, its tips go past my shoulders - and it doesn't threaten to blow away or go inside-out with every gust of wind.

Now, you may be wondering how I'm able to see where I'm going if the umbrella curves down so much. Good question. It's clear, see-through, I mean! So, my head/face is nicely protected and I'm still able to see everything around me, which on a beautifully rainy day such as yesterday was quite a blessing.

The cherry on top, though, is the yellow stripe around the bottom of the umbrella. What a great color to contrast with the gray, rainy day. It brought me simple pleasure as I looked through my umbrella at the world around me.

Yes, that's Sadie peaking in underneath.

Simple pleasures are the best and easiest to enjoy - have you ever noticed?

Miscellaneous Thoughts (and some Rantings) While At Work

2012-01-18T13:27:00.000-07:00

How am I ever going to lose weight (or not gain weight) if the women in my office keep bringing goodies? It's not their fault that I have weak will-power when it comes to chocolate chip cookies, chocolate cake, and practically anything else that has sugar/chocolate in it. I type this while eating chocolate cake with vanilla frosting while a tangelo from home sits in the fridge, ignored.

I wonder what trouble Sadie is getting into. Our poor dog. She has separation anxiety. Who can blame her? Steve and I are wonderful - I'd hate being apart from us, too, if I were her. Yesterday, I arrived at home to find she had chewed the bottoms of the horizontal blinds in our kitchen. Was I mad? No. I know it's not her fault. Was I frustrated? Yes. I feel bad for her and don't want her to feel panicked and out-of-control. I don't know what to do, though, because now that Steve works days and I'm at school/work, she has to get used to being alone for a few hours every day. I hope she adjusts soon...before she eats our whole house. We looked online for ways to soothe separation anxiety in dogs and put them into practice this morning. Fingers crossed that they help!

I'm lucky to have such a good job. The people I work with are so nice, the hours can't be beat, it's close to home, I can do homework (if I so choose), and I get all the holidays off. I'm so glad I got this job and plan on keeping it until I finish my degree.

Why do people cheat? Cheat on papers and tests, cheat the system, cheat themselves, cheat on spouses. You would think that only the young would cheat, not knowing or understanding the consequences of doing so. Not true. I'm amazed at how many people who should know better cheat. It comes up almost daily at work. People who once were students want to get free medical care and so lie about being a current student. Some slip through, most don't. They all make me mad. We're 100% funded by student fees - fees which are really high - so these people are cheating the students who work hard to pay for tuition and fees and every person who pays taxes that fund scholarships, grants, and loans.

I drink more water the few times I have to go to the water jug. Today I brought a Detriot Lions 10oz glass to work to replace using the 2oz paper cups we have at work. On a typical day, I'd refill those cups once, totalling a grand 4 ounces of water for the 4 hours I worked. Already today I've drank a whole glass of water and have drunk half the refill. That totals 15 ounces in just 3 hours. Vast improvement!

I'll do anything to get out of reading my Intermediate Accounting textbook at work - even write a blog about what I'm thinking about at work. Never fear...in about 6 minutes I'll buckle down and read.

Not everyone should go to college. Did you know that there is a shortage of plumbers, HVAC personnel, and similar trade professionals? A college degree can be a great thing for many people, but it doesn't guarantee a great paying job. If someone went into trade, there's a good chance they'd be paid well because not very many people would want to do it (ie crawling under houses looking for dead animal carcasses - thank you Dirty Jobs for that wonderful episode). Also, it kind of frustrates me that people who can't spell "throat", "problem", "find", "cost", and other every-day-type words will someday have the same degree that I currently hold - a Bachelor's degree from an accredited university. I know because they come into my office daily and misspell the most common words in the universe. Do I feel like it cheapens the degree? Yeah, a little.

I hope the Lions make it to the playoffs again next year and make it a little further. Like the Super Bowl. Like winning the Super Bowl. That would be awesome.

Alright. Time to hit the books. Just an hour before I head home, so it shouldn't kill me to do a little homework. If it does, please don't wear black to my funeral. Red is my favorite color.

2012 - The Year of...

2012-01-13T12:19:00.001-07:00

...School. It takes up pretty much all my time, and I feel like I live on campus. I go to class. I work on campus - the Student Health Center. I exercise at the university gym. I do homework practically all evening every evening, except for Saturdays and Sundays. I manage to get enough done during the week so I can have a break on the weekend. This semester, I have three classes, all Accounting classes. I really enjoy my professors and am learning a lot. I'll take the summer off and then will have one undergrad class left to take in the fall. I'm also hoping the department will let me take one or two Masters classes to help speed things up a bit.

...England. Steve and I are talking about going somewhere this summer and are leaning toward England. We live in such a way, and are blessed with a good enough income, that we're able to put a good chunk of money into savings every month. We're going to assign a healthy portion of those savings toward a fun trip. I've always wanted to go to England and am so excited to start making plans and figuring out where to go and what to see. If anyone has suggestions, please email me, leave a comment, text, call, whatever. I don't Twitter.

...Journaling. One of my resolutions is to write in my journal every day. I realized that one of the reasons I haven't kept up with my journal like I used to was that I'd go so long in between writing that it would take forever to catch up. I'm also too detail-oriented when I write it would take a long time to write, so as part of my resolution, I'm only writing a page each day. I have to decide what I really want to record; whether it's a funny thing that happened in class, how I felt about my hair, or what Steve and I did for date night. I'm really enjoying writing in my journal again.

...Running. A couple years ago, I had a resolution to run in a 5k. I kind of accomplished it. My friend Kyle and I walked a 5k that February, and then I ran the last little bit in order to finish before him. (teehee). This year, there's a 5k on May 19th that I want to participate in. I may not run the whole darn thing, since I haven't run in over a year, but I'd like to run as much of it as I can. To that end, each week I'm working on running a bit more than I did the week before. And, I'm back to recording my exercise. My goal is to exercise 100 miles a month, every month.

...A New Car, 2nd Dog (maybe), Camping, and Lots of Fun. We bought a new car on December 30th, 2011. I swore I'd never buy a brand new car, too much money and too much immediate depreciation, but we found a good deal on a car we really like and that we plan to have for many, many years so depreciation isn't as important as it could be if we were planning on selling it sooner than later. It's a 2012 Subaru Outback, red. I love it. It has seat warmers. *big smiley face*

We got it so our greyhound Sadie would have more room and so that we could have passengers in our car at the same time as our dog. And because we're thinking of getting a second dog. We're looking at dogs online, no puppies and nothing for hundreds of dollars (really, people?! $2000 for a puppy that will pee all over my carpets??). We may get another greyhound since Sadie is so awesome. We definitely want a male this time.

With the new car, we also have more room and capability to do more of the things we like to do that we didn't do last year (partially due to lack of time last year). More fishing, more camping, more hiking, more exploring. My brother gave us his old tent and a really cool camping table that we're excited to finally use. I'd also like to give snowshoeing a try this year. Lots and lots of possibilities and I look forward to making the most of all of them!

I hope everyone has a very wonderful 2012!

Three-Year Anniversary

2011-12-29T11:30:00.000-07:00

As many of you know, on December 23, 2008, I underwent weight-loss surgery. My doctor had urged me to choose gastric bypass but I stubbornly stuck to my choice of Lap-band. Dr. S warned that I probably wouldn't lose as much weight as I needed to with Lap-band, but I didn't like the idea of my insides being rearranged and figured that any weight loss would be better than none. At my heaviest the thought of losing even 100 lbs (or even just 50) sounded like a miracle.

Three years later and I have lost 184 lbs! Yep, a whole person! What's great is that I'm still losing weight - very, very slowly. In June 2010 I reached my personal goal of losing half of my body weight; I weighed 175 and had lost 175 lbs. To celebrate, I went skydiving with my cousins Alyson and Cassie. Since then I have lost another 9 lbs and now weigh 167 lbs (before this week of Christmas overindulgence). I'm very pleased with how I look (except the excess skin) and am beyond thrilled with how I feel. I feel GREAT!

A few weeks ago, I went in to see my surgeon after not seeing him since June 2010. I needed a slight adjustment to my band - it felt too tight - and the timing worked out to be able to go to St. George for an appointment with him. I'm so glad I went in! Not only do I feel better since having the adjustment, but also because Dr. S said seeing me reminded him of the reason he does weight loss surgeries. He said that he sees so many patients fail to make the lifestyle changes needed to lose weight and keep it off. To see me lose more weight than he thought I would and to have kept it off for so long made him feel really good about his job. I told him that having the surgery saved my life and it really did.

I was morbidly obese. I hadn't developed some of the health complications that come with being morbidly obese, but I'm sure they weren't far off. I had noticed my blood pressure start to creep up just past normal, diabetes was probably at my doorstep, and who knows what else was going to develop if I didn't lose weight. My mom had said numerous times that she worried I'd die before I was 40. I kind of worried about that too, but I didn't know what to do about it. Sometimes I felt so utterly hopeless that death held a sort of appeal - then I wouldn't have to worry about being so large any more.

My stepmother was the one who had the idea for me to have weight loss surgery. My half sister's babysitter had lap-band surgery and had lost 70 lbs in a few months. Paula and my dad discussed the surgery decided to offer to help me pay for it if I chose to have it done. When I finally decided to go ahead with it, six months after their initial offer, I talked to Paula about my weight. She said she thought I was beautiful no matter what, but she worried that I had stopped living life, that I held back on really enjoying it and on doing things I wanted to do because of my weight. It was so true. I'm blessed with a naturally positive and happy nature, so it wasn't like I was miserable, but I could see how I had changed as my weight steadily increased. I will appreciate Paula's insights and for her and my dad's willingness to help me for as long as I live.

Losing 184 lbs has saved my life! Not only because of the weight-related illnesses that have been avoided but also because of the life I now live that I wouldn't otherwise. I'm married, for crying out loud! I would never have dreamed of joining an online dating site if I had stayed at 300+ lbs, so I would never have met my husband, the most wonderful man I've ever known. I have had many adventures that I would have skipped because of my weight, I have been able to do things like bike riding that I hadn't done since I was a kid because I was too heavy to do them. Even simple things like going to the movies or sitting in a restaurant booth are easier and more enjoyable because I don't have to squeeze into the seats! Even though it's been 3 years since my surgery, I still got a spark of joy when Steve and I went the the Nutcracker ballet and I fit easily into the small theatre seats - with room to spare!

Someone recently said to me that they kind of missed the old Julie. I'm not sure what that means, since I feel like the same person just with less body mass, but if I am different, I don't miss the "old" me. I love how I look and how I feel. I love how much healthier my body is. If there has been a non-physical change in me, it's how much hope I feel now, how excited I am by the future, how happy I am. I don't limit myself any more because of what my body looks like. And, I like shopping more now. Otherwise, I'm still me.

Weight loss surgery isn't an Easy button; it is a tool. It is effective only as much as you use it to help you change your lifestyle. There's always ways to circumvent it, but why would you spend all that money to do what you've always done? One definition of "crazy" is doing the same things you've always done and expecting different results. I definitely am not perfect with my eating (I LOVE chocolate!) but the band helps me control how much I eat and most of the time I do eat responsibly. Exercise, though, is uber important to me! It helps "erase" some of the chocolate, ice cream, etc. that I eat and it really is good for the soul as well as the body.

In conclusion, I can't believe it's been three years since I had my surgery. Back then I had no idea where I would be today, but I had hope that the results would be worth it. They are!

Here are a few pictures of my weight loss journey:

October 2008 - 350 lbs

December 21, 2008 - 351 lbs

The doctor's office took these pictures a couple days before surgery.

February 2009 - 299 lbs!

Summer 2009 - 250 lbs! (Lost 100 lbs!)

Late summer 2009

Fall 2009

April 2010 - 185 lbs

June 1011 - 171 lbs (lost 180 lbs!)

Dec. 23, 2011 - 167 lbs (lost 184 lbs!)

In the Spirit of Christmas

2011-12-19T19:37:00.003-07:00

Can you believe that Christmas is in just a few days?? Last night, lying in bed, I realized that a week from then would be Christmas night - all the presents would be open, Christmas Eve dinner would be eaten (except for some leftover, hopefully), and it would be another year until Christmas Day again. This month has gone by so quickly, and yet I'm feeling more Christmas spirit than I have in many years.

One reason may be due to having finished my Christmas shopping weeks ago. Steve and I knew that we wouldn't have much time together to do Christmas shopping until after we needed to deliver the presents to their intended receivers, so the weekend before Thanksgiving, we cranked out most of our shopping for our family members - including four people's birthdays! During the next couple weeks, we both finished shopping for each other and managed to wrap all the presents! It's kind of hard to get the presents for people so far in advance because I'm not patient about giving them - I want them to open the presents immediately because I'm so excited! However, it's been heavenly not having to worry about what to buy people and to not have to mess with the stores (too much) and the people milling inside. It's a weight off our shoulders, making my spirits so much lighter!

A bigger part of my Christmas spirit is due to last week. My husband took last week off, so we were able to spend a lot of time together, choosing to do some very Christmas-y activities. Here's a quick run-down of our fun, with pictures when available (not as much as I would have liked).

December 9-11: We drove to Cedar City for my youngest brother's wedding. Technically not "Christmas" but the decorations had a slight Christmas feel and their colors were red, white, and black. Everything was beautiful and what says Christmas more than love? It was great to see my brother marry such a lovely woman, to welcome two great little kids into my heart, to spend time with all my family, and to be reminded of the vows I made to my wonderful husband and to have the love I feel for him strengthened in many small and great ways.

Monday, December 12: Drove home after taking a quick trip to St. George to see my WLS surgeon. All is well and he is so thrilled that I'm doing so well. Me too, doc! When we got home, we curled up on the couch and watched a couple Christmas TV specials that we had recorded, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town", "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", and "A Charlie Brown Christmas Special". I love both shows, but I have a special place in my heart for the latter - it really touches me.

Tuesday, December 13: We cleaned all morning, and I mean cleaned! We had been so busy (and sick) lately that our house was not looking too well. Not only did we do the standard cleaning, but we also did some of the nitpicky things that don't get done as often like cleaning base boards and window sills. I had been a little grumpy at the start of the day but when we finished cleaning, my spirit felt refreshed. It really is true that a clean house helps one's attitude...at least it does mine. Having a clean house helped our very few but precious Christmas decorations and lovely tree really shine. That night, we watched "White Christmas", yet another classic Christmas movie that makes me very happy. Steve hadn't seen it for ages and was amused that I could quote it (but didn't too often to be annoying) and could sing along to all the songs (see last parenthetical note). Is there any greater Christmas movie moment than when the back of the stage opens up to the beautiful snowy Vermont scene while Bing and company sing White Christmas? I get chills every time I watch it.

I love our tree!

Wednesday, December 14: Steve and I went to see the new movie "Arthur Christmas". I knew it had received great reviews, but so had "The Muppets". I really enjoyed "The Muppets" (in large part because I was watching it with many family members, including nieces and nephews) but I didn't LOVE it, just liked it a lot. So, I was skeptical about "Arthur Christmas", really really skeptical. In fact, I had wanted to see "The Descendants" but the time schedule was better for "Arthur Christmas" and it's Christmas time and all, so we went to see it. I LOVED it! I laughed, I teared up, I got excited and anxious, and I felt Christmas. This is a movie I would like to own and watch every year with my own kids, if I ever have any, or with my nieces and nephews if I don't.

Thursday, December 15: At the beginning of the week, while watching tv, we saw a commercial for The Nutcracker. I said, "Oh how fun! I haven't seen that in years and years!" Next thing I know, Steve, my wonderful husband who doesn't love ballet/opera/fancyschmancyplays/etc., had bought us two tickets! So, this evening I put on my second-fanciest dress (having left my new dress for Kevin's wedding in Cedar, frustrating!), glammed up as much as I'm capable of being, and headed off with a very handsome husband to the ballet. I loved walking into Capitol Theatre in Salt Lake, watching the people mill about - especially the little girls who were loving being dressed up almost as much as me, and enjoying my overpriced mint chocolates and chocolate covered raspberries that my husband spoiled me with. The ballet was wonderful! I love the music, the story, the dancing, and especially the costumes. Time flew by, and even Steve enjoyed it more than he thought he would (though he wouldn't use "enjoy" to save his life).

Me before "The Nutcracker".
Not the best picture, but it was the best I could do.

Friday, December 16: Realizing that our budget was pretty much shot this month but still trying to be somewhat fiscally responsible, we decided to have a money-free date night. We ate a lovely homemade dinner of Swedish meatballs (first time every making them!), and then went to the Christmas Village in Ogden. It's one of our family traditions - second year! - and one I really enjoy. This year wasn't nearly as cold as last year, but it was still really nippy! I love the lights all around the park, the trees dressed in different colors, the houses with beautiful, whimsical scenes, and all the people and kids to provide great watching opportunities. I love walking around hand-in-hand with Steve. Back at home, we drank hot chocolate while bundled up on the couch, snuggled together, watching "Scrooged". What a funny, irreverent, heart-warming movie! I hadn't seen it before last year when Steve introduced it to me. It's another family tradition.

Saturday, December 17: We found out that Steve ended up having to work a few hours this day, right during the time we had planned to go to Salt Lake to see some of my family, go ice skating, and see the lights on Temple Square. Instead, my wonderful family came up to our house so that Steve could still be apart of our day together, though missing a few hours of it. It was my wonderful mom's birthday, so before they arrived, Steve and I bought a cake and some decorations and had everything ready for when Mom walked through the door. It was fun to see her surprise and happiness with the decorations (I forgot to take a picture at the time, but below is a incomplete re-creation).

There was also a German Chocolate cake and a few presents. It was fun!

We had lunch, she opened her presents, we played some games, Steve left for work, Cassie came, we did a little shopping at Hobby Lobby (love it!), then we bundled up and headed to the Christmas Village in Ogden. We started with Santa. Robbie was really excited to see him, and we thought it best to wait in line before it got too cold (it was already dark). I was impressed with how well Robbie did with Santa. Some kids end up getting scared, but not him. He said "Hi Santa!", climbed up on his lap, told Santa what he wants for Christmas, and then wished Santa a "Merry Christmas!". It was so cute! Then, because I'm a big kid at heart and wanted a candy cane that I hadn't stolen (yes, I stole a couple candy canes - I gave one to my mom), I sat on Santa's lap. I asked for another dog, a greyhound. I haven't decided for sure that I want another greyhound (though we're pretty sure we're going to get another dog next Spring), but it was all I could think of with such short notice.

Look at my cutie-patootie nephew! And isn't this a great-looking Santa?!

Dear Santa, please see my last blog post to see what I want for Christmas.

After Santa, we rode the little train in the middle of the Christmas village. It was only 50 cents per person and adults could ride it too (it was a really small train!). Being a kid at heart, I loved it! So did Robbie, who was the real reason we rode the train. I wish we had pictures of this! Oh well. We walked around the village, and I really got a kick out of how interested Robbie was in all the houses and their inner scenes. I thought he wouldn't be because he couldn't go inside, but he loved looking at them. He's such a cutie! Even though this was my second time seeing it in as many days, it was a different experience with my family. It was a lot of fun! I just with all my brothers and their families could have been there.

If you look closely, you can see Robbie at the igloo's door.

Cassie and Mom standing with a really big moose.

When we all got too cold, we headed to a nearby Italian restaurant. Luckily, Steve got off work a little early and was able to meet us there before we got seated. I was so happy to see him! Everyone parted ways after dinner, so Steve and I headed home alone. Again, we cuddled on the couch with mugs of hot chocolate and watched tv (we're loving season 1 of Raising Hope).

Sunday, December 18: Nothing. We didn't do a darn thing! I didn't even leave the house! (Steve was sweet enough to take the dog for her walks by himself so I wouldn't have to go out in the cold.) I read and read and read. It felt wonderful. I couldn't be this lazy every day, but after a few weeks of being busy (and sick), it was nice to be this lazy one day.

It was a really wonderful week with lots of Christmas fun, family, and spending time with Steve. This week he's back at work, so it will be less exciting, but I'm really looking forward to this weekend. We have some fun things planned for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day (opening presents!!!).

I hope that you're all getting into the spirit of Christmas, that you're able to spend time with the marvelous people in your lives, and that with all the hustle and bustle of the season you're still able to feel the true meaning of the holiday...the perfect love of our Father and His Son and the hope and peace that this love brings to all of our lives.

Merry Christmas, everyone!

2011 Christmas Wish List

2011-12-08T10:55:00.004-07:00

Before starting this post, I looked at last year's Christmas Wish List and was a little surprised to see that I got pretty much everything on it throughout the year. The best present, of course, was the ring and what it meant. You can read about how I got the engagement ring here. I still sometimes look down at my finger in amazement - I'm married! It has been so good being married to Steve this year and I really look forward to many years of being together.

Sadie, our cute, funny greyhound, has also been a wonderful gift. She keeps me company when Steve is at work during the night, and we both have fun playing with her expecially as time passes and her personality developes more into a pet than a racer.

I've had two jobs this year - one that was far from home and not totally enjoyable and one that is close to home and really enjoyable. The latter pays much much less than the former, but it just feels good to have a job, to be contributing to the family income, and it's perfect for me while going to school.

Steve and I play Mario Kart quite frequently and I still manage to beat him every now and then (I used to cream him, but he got good).

I hope all my friends and family found love and joy this year, but I know at least one did. My brother Kevin is getting married this weekend! I'm so happy he found someone special who loves him like he deserves to be loved.

I even discovered a couple local friends that I can see without having to travel too far! Of course, now with school and homework, I don't have as much time to hang out with them, but at least I could. They're good friends, too, friends I've known for years so feel comfortable being with. That reminds me, I need to get in contact with them and make plans for getting together in the next couple weeks!

Life has been so good to me, I feel almost selfish asking for anything else. Almost. Really, it would be selfish of me NOT to post this list. If I didn't, how would you know what to get me? *mischievous grin*

So, for your benefit more than mine, here's my Christmas Wish List: (you're welcome)

1. Perfect hair. If we're going to be 100% honest (which I always am), I would LOVE hair that goes halfway to my bum, thich and luxurious, not limp with lots of split-ends. Hair that naturally dries into the perfect hair - wavy curls, shiny, lots of body and bounce - so I don't have to spend any time on doing it. Leaving the land of fantasy, I'd settle for hair that hit my shoulders and dried into the perfect hair - straight without any kinks or frizziness, shiny, lots of body and bounce - without having to beat it into submission with a blow dryer and a 2" round brush. Even my current short hairstyle requires a few minutes with both. *disgruntled sigh*

2. A remodeled kitchen. My current kitchen isn't too shabby, it has some nice features; however, it also has a very out-dated and too-small oven and the stovetop is located on the island, separate from the oven, and is also really old. In my perfect kitchen (that fits into my current house - we won't get started on my absolute PERFECT kitchen), I'd have a double oven (a smaller oven on top of a larger one, but still about the same height of a regular oven) with a flat stovetop since our kitchen isn't set up for a gas range. I'd like the microwave to be above the stove, doubling as a vent for the stove. The island would be devoted to workspace, with a few extra electrical outlets around it. The current stove hood/vent/fan that is above the island would be replaced with either nothing or one of those fancy pot hangers (as long as I wouldn't be constantly hitting my head on it like I do our current hood). I'd love a bigger fridge - one with the french doors for the fridge and the freezer is a pull-out drawer on the bottom. I know some people don't like this set-up, but I'm pretty sure it would be ideal for me.

3. A honeymoon. Steve and I had a nice wedding weekend with a night's stay at a bed and breakfast in Salt Lake, but I would like a true honeymoon - a week somewhere fun and exotic. My top choices would be: Europe (Spain, Denmark, Germany, Italy - in that order), Japan/China, a cruise to anywhere warm or Alaska, Montreal or Quebec City, western Canada, or to any state that I haven't been to yet. So, almost anywhere. :)

4. A puzzle. Nothing too challenging like the ones my mom and Corey used to put together, just a pretty puzzle with 1000 or so pieces that would give my mind something to do when it needs a break from homework. A card table to go with the puzzle would be nice, too, so I wouldn't have to use my kitchen table.

5. A lifetime supply of chocolate. I'm thinking of a piece of chocolate - not too big or too small, maybe 2" square - that comes in the mail every day (two on Saturday so I have one for Sunday). Each day would be a different chocolate; sometimes milk, sometimes dark, sometimes with nuts, sometimes a truffle, sometimes a chocolate brownie or cake, etc. I think if I knew I would have one piece of chocolate every day for the rest of my life, I'd be pretty happy and content and would probably lose weight because that one piece would satisfy me, especially knowing that I'd get another piece the next day. And how fun would it be to try all different types of chocolate? If I really really really didn't like one type, I could request never to be sent it again, or if there was one I especially loved I could request it come more frequently. I think heaven will consist of a deal like this. Otherwise, would it really be heaven?

6. Love, happiness, and peace for my family and friends. It's a repeat from last year, but it's worth repeating. In fact, it's something I hope and pray for every day. The people in my life are what make my life so enjoyable, they deserve the best of what life has to offer. In fact, I also wish for lots of time this next year with my family and friends. Every time I get to see them is a gift.

It's unbelievably difficult to come up with a wish list when I have everything I've ever really wished for. It makes me feel so blessed.

I hope that whatever is on your Christmas Wish list is "under your tree" this next year!

A Thankful Thanksgiving

2011-11-23T10:19:00.002-07:00

I know, it's pretty cliche to make a list of things I'm thankful for at Thanksgiving, but there's a reason things are sometimes cliche - they are good and they are right. There's no bad time to make a gratitude list, so here goes mine:

I'm Thankful For:

1. Steve. He pretty much dominates this list. He is the best man I have ever known, better than I deserve. Steve is sweet, strong, smart, sexy, sure, silly, and simply stupendous. (That list wasn't intended to be all s's but once it got going, I went with it.) We really are a good team, best friends, and intense Skip Bo rivals (I recently had a 12-game winning streak). I trust him completely and feel comfortable being myself 100%. He sees me at my best and my worst...and he doesn't think my worst is all that bad. We don't really fight, but we don't always agree. I feel happiest when I'm cuddled up next to him with his arms around me. I'm so thankful for the man he is, for the woman he makes me want to be, and for the life we share.

2. Our home. We have officially been in our house for a year now, and I can't believe it. In ways, I feel it can't possibly be just a year, in other ways, it feels like we've lived there for years and years. From the moment we moved in, it felt like home. I know a big part of that was because I was there with Steve, but it really does fit our preferences and personalities. It's large enough to fit houseguests, has some nice, distinct quirks, and it is in a pleasant, quiet neighborhood. There are a lot of places to walk in our neighborhood, and I love that most of the neighborhoods around us are quite festive for all the holidays. I feel like we like in a small town, but we're really close to big towns with lots of shopping and eating options. It's pretty darn close to perfect.

3. My job. Working at the Student Health Center at Weber State University is pretty darn close to being the perfect job while going to school. I don't work too many hours so have plenty of time to do homework and spend time with Steve, it's close to home and really close to my classes (one building over), they are really accomodating if I need to take time off to take a test or talk to a professor, and I get to do homework at work if it's not busy - which is quite often. An added, and important, bonus is the great people I work with. They're all very nice and I enjoy chatting with them. I'm very fortunate to be in the position where I can afford to work this job while going to school instead of needing to work a full time job in order to pay the bills. I'm thankful that my husband has a good job and is happy to support me while I go to school. I hope to return the favor someday.

4. My mom. I have a wonderful mother. She taught me how to be a lady, taught me to be strong and independent, and taught me how to work and be proud of a job well done. My mom is beautiful, inside and out, and I'm proud when people tell me that I look like her or that they see her in me or vice versa. Mom came to visit us last month and I really enjoyed spending time with her. She didn't come for any other reason except to see us and to go to the places around our home that we love. One of my favorite times was window shopping on Historic 25th Street in Ogden. We stopped at all the stores Steve and I enjoy, discovered an Argentinian bakery with yummy pastries, and bought chocolates at a cute, unique shop. The whole time, we laughed and talked. It was wonderful being with her. I'll always remember that weekend and how special she made me feel by making a trip up just to spend time with me and Steve. That's the kind of wonderful mom she is. I'm thankful she's my mom and I'm thankful for all the lessons she has taught me (even when I wasn't willing to learn from her).

5. My family. I grew up with three brothers. They were great. We fought, of course, but we had a grand time playing with each other too. They taught me to be strong, to stand up for myself and not be pushed around by boys, and they taught me a little bit about what kind of man I wanted to marry someday (they probably didn't realize they were teaching me this). They tolerated my bratty phase, my bossy phase, and my distant phase. Now we're all really good friends. And, they married, or are about to marry, good women who I really enjoy spending time with. One of my favorite traditions that I'm afraid is disappearing now that I live away from Cedar is making Christmas candies with my sister-in-laws. We spend all day making delicious confections to pass out to friends. This year, I'll be doing it on my own and it won't be the same. I'm thankful that we get along so well and have such loving relationships. I'm especially thankful for my brothers' kids. I love being an aunt and I have the most adorable niece and nephews in the world. I love them so much. I'm also thankful to be gaining a new niece and nephew in a couple weeks when my brother gets remarried. They are cute kids and I'm excited to get to know them, be a part of their lives, and to learn to love them.

6. My dad. I have an interesting relationship with my dad, but no matter what, I love him and am thankful for him and for the things he has taught me. When I was younger, he taught me that I should expect to be treated like a lady by the men in my life, he took me on practice dates, and he taught me not to settle when it came to choosing the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I married a man who has all the same wonderfully good points as my dad yet who is also unlike him in all the ways I wanted. I'm thankful that my dad's second wife is nice and who has treated us well from the beginning. I'm also thankful to have a cute little sister. She's closer in age to my niece, but she's my sister and I love her and marvel at how great she is.

7. Friends. I have always been blessed with wonderful people in my life. Angels disguised as friends. These friends have been with me through thick and thin times (literally and figuratively); we've shared dreams, secrets, tons of laughs, and our share of tears. I've met my friends at school, at work, through other friends, and a few of my closest friends are cousins of mine. Our lives have sometimes taken us away from each other, but our spirits remain close. I don't see my friends as often as I used to or would like, but every day some memory or thought about one or more of them comes to mind. I pray for my friends and hope they're doing well and are happy. And, when we actually get to spend time with each other, it's as if no time has passed and I'm just as at-ease and happy with them as ever. My mom once told me a true friend is one that you can reconnect with as easily as if you were never apart. That is how it is with my friends. I'm so very thankful for my friends. I am who I am in large part because of their influence and example.

8. My body. Even when I was obese, I had a healthy body; I could walk, hike, play tennis, swim, and other fun activities, though often with lots of huffing and puffing and a red face. Now I really appreciate my body. I am thankful to be able to run and ride a bike again and to do other things that I hadn't done when I was so heavy. I'm thankful that my body is more healthy now - not just because of the lost weight but also because of the increased activity and healthier food. I can comfortably fit in theater seats, airplane seats, office chairs, and that I don't worry about breaking flimsy-looking chairs at restaurants or people's houses. I don't limit myself any more - I live my life to its fullest. I even went skydiving last year. Yes, I'm very thankful for my slimmer, healthier body and all the activities it allows me to do.

9. Sadie. I was a little nervous about getting a dog. I knew it would change our lifestyle. And, the first week or two, I had a few rough patches. However, I really enjoy having Sadie in our lives now. She is such a loving, well-behaved dog. If you need a smile, come over and see our crazy dog. She will warm your heart with her big welcome - a furiously wagging tail and maybe even some rare greyhound kisses. Petting her releases happiness molecules that travel from your hand all the way up to your head and heart. An added benefit of having Sadie is having to walk her a few times every day...even if it's blistering hot or freezing cold. And, taking her for a quick two-minute walk to do her business isn't going to cut it. That girl doesn't do anything until she's been walked for at least 10 minutes, so you get a good walk in.

Well, I'm done with work and off to class, so I'd better end this post. I hope everyone has a wonderful turkey day with family and friends.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wonderful Weekend

2011-11-21T14:32:00.004-07:00

Who doesn't love the weekend?

Well, there are kids in my classes that don't because that's usually when they a) work, b) do homework, c) both. That said, who else doesn't like the weekend???

I certainly do! This past weekend was particularly enjoyable. Here's what went into such a nice, productive, enjoyable two days: (pretty much ranked in order)

1) Tons of time with Steve. Now that he works 3pm to 11pm during the week, I really treasure the time we have together on the weekends. We have so much fun together; laughing, talking, playing games, even just walking the dog. He's definitely my best friend and I love him so much!

2) Shopping. It used to be that the thought of going from store to store for any reason (though especially clothes shopping) was enough to make me want to hide under my bed until the threat went away. However, with dramatic weight loss came more enjoyment while clothes shopping and with marrying Steve came more enjoyment with all other kinds of shopping...as long as we're doing it together. He and I have similar shopping preferences - where we like to shop, how long we like to look at things, when we're absolutely done, etc. - so the experience is pretty pleasant. AND, we got almost all of our Christmas shopping done!!! BEFORE THANKSGIVING! That is a record for me. In addition to Christmas presents, we also bought my brother's wedding present and birthday presents for my mom and niece, AND I bought some presents for Steve while he was sleeping (he worked until 6am that morning). I have 2/3 of the money left for him, so I still have some shopping left to do, but it feels good to have the rest done so early.

3) Food. Saturday night we ate at Olive Garden. Normally when we want Italian, we go to a nice little restaurant in Ogden called Rovali's that has excellent food and service. However, I spent last week craving OG for some reason (the salad??), so we went there mid-shopping. I enjoyed my stuffed rigatoni and chicken immensely! Sunday morning, I made a delicious quiche from stuff in my fridge - bell peppers, onion, chicken, bacon, two types of cheese, eggs, and half-n-half. It was definitely the best quiche I've made - and I make pretty darn good quiches. I loved every bite! Later Sunday, I made meatloaf and garlich mashed red potatoes. The meatloaf was so juicy and flavorful and the potatoes were creamy and buttery. Mmmmm. I love the satisfaction that comes with making delicious food!

4) My hair. My bangs are still too short, but they aren't as short as they were. I can look into a mirror and not cringe. I don't care if some think it's shallow - when you think you look good, you feel good. This weekend I finally felt like I looked good again and I noticed the added spring in my step as we walked around stores.

5) Football. All of my college teams won (Weber, SUU, Utah, and Steve's UCLA), my NFL team won (Detroit Lions), and my fantasy team stands a decent change of winning if my remaining player doesn't tank tonight. Even if he does, I'd rather my real teams win and my fantasy team lose than vice versa. Here's hoping for a win-win though!

In short (haha), nothing spectacular happened this weekend, but I really really enjoyed myself. I truly believe that most of life is made up of small moments that could be easily overlooked if you're not paying attention. It's better to get every ounce of enjoyment from those moments (they can be pretty packed!) than wait for the big occassions that can be awesome but are usually pretty spaced out, too.

Life Update: School, Family, Work, Hair...You know, the important things

2011-11-04T09:40:00.000-06:00

School
I must say that I enjoy being back in school and am not too ashamed to admit that one of those reasons is that while in school I don't feel too bad about not working full-time somewhere. Granted, with going to class and having homework, I put in almost as many hours as a full-time job but it's totally different, I don't care what anyone says.

I have three classes this semester: Intermediate Accounting, Cost Accounting, and Individual Tax. The latter class is my favorite, partially due to the course content and partially due to the professor. My other two classes aren't difficult classes but the professors have wonky teaching styles, so the classes tend to be a bit more challenging than they probably should be. Oh well, I love a good academic challenge, especially when I end up getting As, which I am on track to get in all three classes.

I'm not really good at making friends in my classes, especially at the beginning. I tend to like to work out problems on my own, I learn the material better that way, so I kind of stick to myself. Eventually, though, I get to know the people in my classes (and I end up being known as a smartie) and really enjoy becoming friendly with them. While getting my undergrad at SUU, I ended up making some really good friends from my classes. This is beginning to happen in my classes here at Weber. I'm already becoming friends with a gal in my Cost Accounting class and slowly I'm getting to know other people in my classes, talking to them about homework, the professors, our career plans, etc. Even though it takes me a bit of time to get to this point, I really like the social element of school.

Work
When I started school, Steve told me that he was fine if I didn't work at all, so I could concentrate on school. That was really sweet, but I kind of wanted to work a little to kind of help with the family finances, even if just a tiny bit. I told him I'd work part-time but only if I got something on campus. Well, I did! Yay! I work 20 hours a week at the Student Health Center and really enjoy it. They understand that I'm a student first so have worked with me if I needed to miss work to finish a huge project and they allow me to do homework at work if it's slow. And of course they work around my school schedule. It's pretty much perfect for me. And, I really like everyone I work with. Colette, the office manager, is my direct supervisor. We sit at the front desk and help the students when they come in to see one of the two doctors on staff. It's also great because I don't work weekends, nights, or holidays! In fact, I don't think I work at all after the semester ends and I know I have the summer off. So, it's not a ton of money, but I feel good about bringing a little to the table and it actually does help with our budget and financial goals.

Family
After making several trips to Cedar and other various places to see family over the summer, after we went to my nephew's baptism the first weekend in September, Steve and I decided to not take any big trips until Thanksgiving. I kind of thought I'd be bereft of seeing my family for all that time...silly Julie! We ended up seeing my brother who lives in Sandy for 4 weekends in a row after that and October was chock full of family visits!

My youngest brother visited the first weekend, along with his girlfriend (now fiancee) and her son. We had a blast going to Lagoon with them and just sitting around playing games and chatting. The next weekend my mom came up. The best part of her visit was that she came up just to see us - there was no other reason. It felt good that she had just wanted to spend time with us. We had a lot of fun with her. Steve was working when she got here Friday evening, so I got to spend a few hours just her and me, which was really wonderful. We showed her some of our favorite things in our area and just really enjoyed her company. Two weekends later, my dad, stepmom, and little sister came up to go to the Weber State vs. SUU football game. It was a fun game to go to, even though Weber shot themselves in the foot with all their penalties. I even got to see my great friend, Cardine, at the game - Bonus! Finally, last weekend we babysat my nephew while Jason and Rachel attended the University of Utah football game. My nephew absolutely adores Steve and our dog, Sadie, so a good time was had by all. And, we wore both him and Sadie out by throwing the ball around the fenced in tennis court.

I'm blessed to have such a close family and really enjoyed getting to have so many fun visits from them lately.

Hair
In September I decided to have my hair cut short. It wasn't a HUGE difference because my hair was currently an A-line bob just a couple inches below my chin. After the hair cut, the front was just a couple inches shorter, the big difference was the back - it was short. I liked it, though I didn't love the front so ended up tucking it behind my ears all the time. A couple days ago, I went in for a touch up and ended up with even shorter hair. I liked it a lot though. Then this morning, I got the crazy idea to cut my bangs. It had been so long since I had cut my own bangs that I had forgotten the cardinal rules*. Now instead of having whispy, feminine, adult bangs, I have chunky, blunt, child-like bangs. Oh, and for the first time since cutting my hair short, I feel really boyish.

Now, I could totally let this ruin my life, or I can remember that hair grows back - in fact, bangs tend to grow faster than other hair - and have fun with my new look.

The biggest hurdle to this latter, and better, approach is my husband. It's funny how much more I worry about how I look now that I'm married. Before, I wanted to look good to hopefully be found attractive by a guy who would then want to date me. However, I had this idea that they get what they see, so if I had blonde hair, they'd better like blondes, etc. Now though, it's harder (though obviously not impossible) for me to change my look because I kind of feel like Steve fell for a girl who looked a certain way and if I change that look it's kind of unfair to him. Fortunately, he says he loves me no matter what I look like, that I look beautiful no matter what, but I still want to look my best for him.

Oh well, tough noogies. Me being me, I change my hair. Sometimes it's going to look really good, other times it may not. Don't get me wrong, I'm having fun with short hair...just not the uber short bangs.

Life
Life is good. One indication of that for me is not ever dreading a certain day, especially Mondays. Of course I still prefer the weekend because I get to see Steve more and we have lots of fun together, but I never wake up wishing it weren't that day. Thursdays are my longest days but even then, I don't mind them because I enjoy what I'm doing throughout the day.

What's not to enjoy? I am married to the most wonderful man I've ever known, we have a comfortable, nice home and a crazy, cute dog, I'm healthy both body and mind, I get to go to school to learn new things and meet new people, I have a job I enjoy, and my life is filled with wonderful friends and family.

Yeah, life is defitely good.

* The first cardinal rule = Don't Ever Cut Your Own Bangs. If you sin against this rule, please remember the following: don't cut your bangs while hair is still wet and always cut them longer than you think they should be. Since you tend to pull your hair down before you cut, if you cut them where you think you want them, when you let go of the hair, they'll be a good deal shorter than you wanted.

What We've Been Eating - Chicken Fried Rice

2011-11-03T13:35:00.000-06:00

My husband loves this dish. He's a big fan of rice so it is right up his alley. I got it from a magazine but have made changes to it to fit our tastes. Steve would probably eat it every month, but I refuse to make it that often. It's not a difficult dish to make, no fancy steps, everything is pretty easy to do; but it's a little time-intensive, you do a lot of things to get to the end result. It's worth it, though, just not every-month-worth-it. Here's the recipe:

Chicken Fried Rice
Olive oil (you could use any oil, but this is what I use)
1 yellow onion, chopped/diced
6-8 oz ham, diced (I've used turkey ham and it was just as tasty)
bok choy, chopped/sliced/cut up into bite-sized pieces*
1 red bell pepper, medium-diced (you don't want overly small or large pieces)
2 tsp fresh ginger, grated or finely diced - trust me, use the fresh stuff
2-3 cloves of garlic, finely minced or grated
2-3 skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite-sized pieces
1 dab of butter
4-5 eggs
1 1/2 tsp curry powder
4 c cooked and cooled bismati rice - about 2 cups uncooked.
low sodium soy sauce, to taste (I like low sodium because I add salt to the other ingredients)
salt and pepper, to taste

*I use all of the top, leafy part and part of the lower stalk. I cut off a healthy part of the bottom stalk because I find it to be too fibrous and I don't love it. The recipe says to use the whole dang thing. Also, I only use 3-4 stalks because otherwise the bok choy kind of took over the dish. Do what you want, though.

Directions:
1. Get the rice going. My bag of bismati rice calls for a cooking time of 20 minutes, so it's good to do this first. That said, I often forget to do it until halfway through the recipe since it's not listed as the first step in the magazine. Cook the rice according to the package directions.

2. Add about 1 T of oil to a saute/frying pan (a large one), when the oil is hot, add the chopped onion and ham, add a dash of salt/pepper. Cook for a couple minutes then add the bok choy. Cook until leafy parts have started to wilt, about 3 minutes, then add the diced red pepper and cook for a couple more minutes, just to get the red pepper a little softer. Add the ginger and garlic, stir, cook for a minute, making sure not to burn these delicate flavors. Add another dash of salt and pepper (I don't know about you, but my veggies don't come pre-seasoned), then remove everything from the pan and put in a big bowl - seriously, a big bowl - you'll need it for latter steps!

3. Add about 1 T of oil to the pan and let it get nice and hot. Then throw in a dab of butter (approx. 1 T) and let it melt. When the butter is melted, add the diced chicken, sprinkly with a good dose of salt/pepper. Spread out the pieces, then leave them alone for a bit so they'll get nice and brown. Once browness has been achieved, turn the pieces over and let the other side get the same way. Remove chicken from the pan and put in the big bowl with the veggies.

4. Check on the rice. If your timer hasn't gone off yet, check the rice anyway. If it has gone off by this time, hopefully you didn't wait until this step to check it. Whenever it happens, once the rice is cooked to the consistency you want (soft, fluffy, doesn't chip your tooth when you bite down on it), spread it out on a cookie sheet to cool until you need it. Note, though, that I've used the rice straight from cooking it, still hot, and the dish has turned out fine.

5. If there isn't leftover oil/butter in the pan after you removed the chicken, add a little more butter to it and let it melt. Scramble the eggs and add them to the hot pan, don't forget to add salt and pepper! Cook them until done. If you tend to like your scrambled eggs on the runny side, that won't work for this recipe, you'll want them to be on the firmer side. Don't let them get brown like some people (my husband) do at times. When the eggs are fully scrambled, remove them from the pan and add to the big bowl with the veggies and chicken.

6. You don't want to do this next step until your rice is ready (cooked, not necessarily completely cooled unless you're more awesome than I tend to be). If your rice is ready to be used, please proceed. Add 1 1/2 T of oil to the pan along with the curry powder. You can add a tad more curry powder if you really like curry powder, which I do. Mix the two ingredients together and heat over medium high heat for 30 seconds or until you can really start to smell the curry. Don't burn! Add the rice, stirring it so every bit gets covered in the spiced oil. Gently press the rice down to cover the entire pan and leave it for 4-5 minutes so the bottom layer gets a little crispy.

7. Stir all the other ingredients into the rice and add the soy sauce. The recipe calls for 2 T, but Steve and I like a good deal more. I usually put in 4 T, then we add more to our individual portions. Before you call the dish finished, give it a good taste to see if it needs additional salt/pepper. If you've added decent amounts throughout all the steps (veggies, chicken, eggs), then you should be okay, but please add some if needed to avoid bland food. Thank you.

That's it! Like I said before, no step is very difficult to accomplish, there's just a lot of things to chop and throw together in different steps. It takes me about 40 minutes to do everything, depending on when I remember to cook the rice. It's totally worth it to see how much Steve loves eating it!

Enjoy!

Halloween

2011-10-31T15:42:00.007-06:00

Happy Halloween!

With Steve's temporary work schedule - 3pm to 11pm - I thought we wouldn't be able to celebrate Halloween together for the second year in a row. Fortunately, his wing commander gave the entire wing the day off, so he has tonight off! Yay!

If you don't know my husband, let me tell you a secret about him...he struggles to let out his inner child. Fortunately, he married me, a gal who struggles to rein in her inner child most of the time. I make him do things like carve pumpkins and dress up for Halloween. My first idea for his costume was a flower, since I'm dressed up as a bee. He nixed it since it wasn't manly at all. I then suggested a bag of flour...get it?! He nixed it too, and since I didn't know how to make the costume, I didn't push it, even though I thought it endlessly clever. Then last night, I had an epiphany. Steve is a big sports fan and we enjoy going to the local baseball team, the Salt Lake Bees. So, he dressed up as a Bees fan and I'm a Bee.

Tonight, we're going out to eat then will spend the rest of the evening handing out candy to trick-or-treaters...if we get any. Part of me hopes we'll have tons since I love seeing all the costumes AND because if we don't get enough of the little squirts, I'll eat too much Halloween candy. The other part of me hopes to be able to eat all, or at least a good portion, of the Halloween candy. *sigh*

Here are some pictures:

The first pumpkin is my creation and the second is Steve's. For someone who has only carved two pumpkins since he was 8, he does a really good job...especially at the cleaning out of the pumpkin.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday and stays safe and warm!

Wild, Wild West and Josh Groban sigh

2011-08-19T14:30:00.000-06:00

Last Friday, Steve and I went on a double-date with our good friends, Tim and Tiffany. We started out by going to the county fair where we got in for free with our military IDs. After purchasing $5 worth of 50-cent tickets, we wandered around looking at all the booths and trying to decide what games to play with our tickets. Eventually we tried our arms at the baseball throwing booth. I didn't do very well - only knocked 4 of the 6 bottles off the table - but still got a piece of candy! Yay!

As we wandered around, we came to a western photography trailer. For a pretty fair fee, we got to dress up as westerners and have a photo shoot. I've always wanted to do something like this but never did it because I was so overweight and figured they wouldn't have clothes my size. Since Tiffany and I wanted to do it, the guys reluctantly agreed. I thought they would just drape costumes over our regular clothes and take a few pictures. I was wrong. Well, that's pretty much what they did with the guys, but Tiffany and I stripped down to our unmentionables and got decked out! The dressing lady asked if we wanted to be modest or sexy. Tiffany answered sexy, so we got to be "saloon ladies". It was so much fun to play dress up as an adult! Here are the pictures:

See what I mean about decked out? The lady kept putting things on me...choker, garter, hat, gloves, boa, etc. I loved it! And, to top it off, the corset was actually too big for me. Yay! There was a smaller one in red but I liked the purple hat, so we went with the purple. And doesn't my husband look sexy as a cowboy? Woot woot!

Afterward, we got something to snack on - Steve got corn on the cob and I got a fried snickers - then we went to look at the rides. They were way too expensive, so we didn't ride any of them. Instead, we played a few more games at booths. Tiffany and I decided to use a couple tickets to get tattoos at the face painting booth. Here we are...aren't we wild women?

For 50 cents, my strawberry tat sure lasted a long time. I finally had to scrub it off Monday afternoon.

After the fair, we went to the movies. We saw Cowboys Vs Aliens, which I liked more than I thought I would. For such a weird sounding movie, it had a good plot and was decently acted. They handled the whole cowboys and aliens scenario a lot better than I expected. Oh, and it really scared me in parts. I love being able to cuddle up to Steve and hide my head in his chest when I get scared. I admit that I'm a total wimp sometimes.

It was a really fun evening with wonderful people!

The next day, Saturday, I went to Salt Lake and met up with my SIL Rachel for the Josh Groban concert. I've always liked his voice and it was just as great in person as recorded. I loved how funny and quirky he was on stage, it really surprised me, but it was awesome. We didn't have very close seats, but we were able to hear him perfectly, which is what mattered most. It was great to be there with Rachel, too. We had a great talk before the concert started and we both loved the music. He has a new album out that I wouldn't mind getting based off the songs from that album that he sang. And it was great to hear some of his older songs in person.

There was a little mini stage that was directly in front of us, so I hurried and took a couple pictures before he moved to the main stage.

It was a wonderful concert and I really appreciate Rachel inviting me to go with her!

Oregon Vacation

2011-08-16T09:40:00.006-06:00

At the end of July, Steve and I took a road trip to Oregon. We drove through Nevada (a long somewhat boring drive), stopped the first night in Susanville, CA, and then headed west to the California coast. Through Nevada we listened to the worst audio book, but at least it was something to listen to.

The drive through California was beautiful - gorgeous forests and lakes - but after a few hours, I was ready to be done with mountain driving. My car sickness was peaking when we finally hit the coast. The ocean was a beautiful sight! As we drove along the coast, clouds gathered and the wind picked up...in short, it got COLD. Our cute little dog was a trooper; she loved roaming the beach and wetting her toes in the ocean water.

We spent the night in Gold Beach, OR. That evening, we took Sadie for a walk up a hilly, dirt road behind our hotel. After a few bends, we ran smack into a herd of elk! Sadie had been pulling on the lead, which should have alerted us to something because she normally walks right at our side. Boy were we surprised to see the elk but not nearly as surprised as the elk! They ran away f.a.s.t! Sadie wanted to chase after them, of course. It was very exciting. We continued walking up the trail, wondering if we'd run into them again, but we didn't see them.

The next day, we drove to Bandon; it has a cute pier area that we walked along, buying sweatshirts because we were soooo cold! Sadie found a friend who didn't really feel like playing. And we saw a seal or two playing in the water off the pier.

We then found an old lighthouse that has been turned into a historical site. It was neat to go inside and read about the history of the lighthouse and surrounding area. We weren't able to go up to the top because we wore open toe sandals, which was a bummer. Oh well. I thought of my mom when we were at the lighthouse because I know she loves them. I thought how nice it would have been to have her there to explore the place with.

Kissy-kissy on the beach

When we finally got to Steve's parents' house a few hours away from the coast, we discovered that we didn't need our sweatshirts any more - it was hot! Steve's parents are super nice and welcomed us with open arms. People have asked me if I was nervous meeting them for the first time, but I wasn't. We had spoken on the phone a few times and I'm facebook friends with his dad, so it was almost like we had met. We had a good time. One day we drove to Crater Lake, stopping at a couple waterfalls along the way.

Steve and his dad, Ron

Crater Lake - look at that gorgeous blue water!

The next day we went to this awesome drive-thru wildlife safari. You stay in your car and drive around looking at the animals. A couple years ago, they put the dangerous animals behind cages because people were dumb and wouldn't stay in their cars AND because a couple cars got sat on by elephants and rhinos. It was really fun to see the animals roaming around.

On our way back to Utah, we stopped in Portland and spent a few hours with my dear friend and former mission companion, Anna and her two daughters. It was so wonderful catching up with her but I could have used about 2 more days or more to really get caught up completely. We continued on our way, stopping in Baker, OR for our last night on the road. When we got home Friday afternoon, almost a complete week after leaving, we were so happy to be home! We had a few hours to relax before my mom, older brother Corey, and Corey's family came to spend the night.

Sadie loves my nephew and niece and wanted to sleep with Porter instead of on her bed in our room.

We had a wonderful trip to Oregon. It was a lot of time in the car, but between listening to audio books and playing car games and just talking to each other, we managed to enjoy ourselves. Sadie was really good in the car, she just slept. Before we left on our trip, she would get so excited to go for a car ride, and I wondered if spending so much time in the car would dampen her enthusiasm for a bit. Nope, she still loves getting into the car. She loves an adventure, and so do Steve and I, so we're a happy family. I can't wait to go back to Oregon again. It was a blast!

Photo Shoot

2011-07-28T10:49:00.001-06:00

My cousin, Cassie, gave Steve and I a wonderful wedding present - she offered to do a wedding photo shoot for us. Before I lost weight, I wouldn't have loved the idea...well, I would have been a ham during the shoot but would have dreaded seeing the actual pictures. Having lost 180 lbs, I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in my own skin, so was really excited about the photo shoot. It was also nice to have Cassie taking the pictures, I trust her and feel very comfortable with her. I knew she wouldn't be thinking all the time "she looks weird" or "yikes!".

Cassie had the great plan to shoot the pictures at the train depot in Ogden, and it really turned out great. She ended up taking about 400 pictures and narrowed it down to 90 final photos, including the same shot in different colors/photoshopping. We expected her to give us a disc with those 90 pictures but she surprised us with a beautifully framed photo and several prints of different shots PLUS the disc of all 90. I love the pictures and am soooo grateful to have them as a reminder of our special day - even though the pictures were taken over a month after we eloped, we're wearing our wedding clothes.

Below are some of my favorite shots:

This is one of my favorite shots - it totally
shows Steve and I in our element.
He is in charge and I'm goofy.

This is another of my most favorite shots and
is also the one Cassie framed.

Thanks again, Cassie! We'll treasure these pictures for the rest of our lives.

What We've Been Eating - Southwestern Salad

2011-07-06T12:39:00.001-06:00

One of the things that I've enjoyed most about not working full-time has been the time I'm able to put into our home life. I clean more, take care of our little garden, and I experiment with our food. Instead of relying on old stand-by recipes, I now have the time to explore a little, even if it's just recipes I've never made from my expansive recipe collection.

Those of you who buy Pampered Chef products know that most of their items come with a recipe or two that you can use the product to make. I threw most of them away but kept a few that sounded yummy. As I searched my recipe collection trying to find something new and summery, I came across this salad. Here's the Pampered Chef recipe, then I'll tell you what I did differently.

Southwestern Salad
Dressing:
3/4 c ranch salad dressing (I love Wild Coyote Ranch)
1 jalepeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped (we used one from our own garden!)
2 tsp taco seasoning
1 tbsp lime juice

Salad:
1/2 c pitted ripe olives, sliced
1 c diced red bell pepper
1 pkg (10 oz) torn romaine lettuce (I like it super shredded into small pieces)
1 c black beans, drained and rinsed
1/2 c whole kernel corn
2 c diced cooked chicken
1 ripe avocado, peeled, seeded and diced (optional)

Combine all the ingredients for the dressing and whisk until well-blended. Refrigerate until ready to use.

Combine all the salad ingredients then pour dressing over it. Toss gently to coat and top with avocado if desired. Serve immediately.

My changes:
I used the whole can of black beans, about 1/2 cup more than the recipe calls more and I put more corn in than called for and less olives (my husband doesn't love olives). I bought one of those cooked chickens from the grocery store and diced the whole thing since I need more cooked chicken for a recipe later this week. Then I measured out 2 cups. When I make this again, I'll add another cup of chicken to make the salad a little heartier.

When I had mixed everything together, I added about 1/4 c finely chopped cilantro, about 1/2 tsp salt, and a few more dashes of lime juice.

Today, when I had the salad for lunch, the flavors were really enhanced, especially the jalepeno flavor. I added shredded cheddar cheese and a little more lime juice to brighten up the leftovers. The lettuce was wilty, not my favorite, so I'm thinking I may just omit the salad next time, or use a lot less. It was still really delicious!

With the chicken pre-cooked, there was absolutely no cooking involved in this recipe. Perfect for hot summer evenings when you really don't feel like having the oven or stove on.

Week with the Kids

2011-07-05T14:57:00.001-06:00

I love being an aunt. I have three nephews and one niece and absolutely adore each of them to pieces. With my oldest nephew Porter and his sister Brooke I used to have sleepovers or "date nights" when I lived in Cedar City. I've missed hanging out with them as much as I used to. So, with Steve's seal of approval, I invited Porter and Brooke to spend a week with us. We had a ton of fun...though we may have overdone things a tad...okay, we spoiled the heck out of them! Oh well, that's what aunts and uncles without children of their own are for, right? Right? Here's a quick run-down of our week of fun with pictures!

Saturday, June 25:
We had a family reunion in Vernal this weekend, so Corey and I decided that this would be a good time to meet up and for him to hand over his kids for a week. We left Vernal after the reunion, mid-afternoon, stopping in Heber City for hamburgers, fries, and shakes. Mmmm. We got home around 8pm, so after taking Sadie for a long walk along the river path, we played a game then went to bed.

Sunday, June 26:
We went to Cars 2 in 3D (not worth the money to see it in 3D, trust me). I liked the movie more than I thought I would. We had planned to take the kids to Fat Cats, an arcade, after the movie, but it was closed on Sundays (good for them!), so we went out to eat at Iggy's for lunch. After running home to let Sadie out of her kennel for a bit, we went to the Ogden Raptor's baseball game. It was my first time going to a Raptor's game and I really enjoyed it. They won, which is always fun, but it was a good game - several home runs, close score, friendly and loud fans, and ice cream.

Steve and the kids in front of the stadium

Brooke and Porter

Me and Steve

After the game, we ate Chinese take out and watched Kindergarten Cop. We were all pretty tired and went to bed happily.

Monday, June 27:
My brother Jason, his wife Rachel, and their son came up around 10am for our fun filled day. We started by going to the AF Museum close to the base. Porter said it "blew his mind". It was really cool to see the planes up close and was extra nice to have Steve there to offer additional information about the planes and bombs and such.

Brooke, Robbie, and Porter

Brooke, Steve, me, and Porter

Jason, Robbie, Rachel, Porter, Steve, Brooke
They're trying to look tough - some pulled it off better than others. :)

After the museum, we headed to Riverdale park for a picnic that Brooke and I had put together earlier that day (sandwiches, chips, carrots, and grapes). I forgot to get pictures of us eating and of us playing donkeyball. Oh well. I'm just glad I got these three.

Sadie is thrilled to be at the park with us instead of in her kennel.

Robbie loves playing with Sadie

Getting ready to leave the park

We took Sadie back home then headed to the big event for the day - Boondocks. It is a mini amusement park; bumper boats, go carts (for adults and for kids), laser tag, arcade, mini golf, bowling, batting cages, and food. My favorite by far was the bumper boats! I figured to get a little wet, but we all got absolutely soaked! Of course I chose to wear a dress and to do my hair down. Both not the best decisions, but oh well. Luckily, Steve loves me even when I'm a mess.

Jason, Robbie, Steve, and Porter - in line at the go carts

Brooke and me after getting soaked on the bumper boats.
Look at those freckles!

Rachel, Robbie, and Jason in line for go carts

Porter driving on the kids go cart track.
He started off in 5th and ended up in 1st! Great driving!

Brooke driving on the kids go cart track

We went on the bumper boats twice, go carts three times, laser tag a couple times, and played arcade games until our allotted $5 each was used up. We ate dinner there and had surprisingly good pizza and hamburgers/nuggets for the kids. We left after a few hours, all of us tired but happy.

Jason and Rachel ran a couple quick errands then came up to our house with a surprise - ice cream! We lit sparklers and played Sorry. It was a great day!

Tuesday, June 28:
Steve had to go back to work this day, unfortunately. Jason and Rachel invited us to their house for a church activity and swimming at their pool. The church activity was outside of the church on the lawn. They had finger paints, water colors, play dough, and other activities for the kids. The hit of the event was Sadie. We brought her along so she wouldn't have to be in her kennel all day. By the end of the activity, she and I were surrounded by kids petting her and asking questions. I'm so glad she is so good with kids! Heck, she loves anyone who will pet her. It was a really warm day, so jumping into Jason's pool after a nice lunch of grilled cheese sandwiches was so refreshing! Sorry, no picture of me in my cute new red, white, and blue swimsuit. Darn it!

Porter, Rachel, Brooke, Jason, and Robbie

We swam for a couple hours then headed back home. We got there just after Steve got home from work. The three of us took quick showers then went to a Japanese hibachi/sushi restaurant. The food was really good, the cook was entertaining, and I finally got to eat a little sushi after over 2 years! We went home and watched a weird cartoon Garfield movie that I hope to never think about again after writing this. Again, we all went to be happy and exhausted.

Wednesday, June 29:
Honestly, by this day I was plum tuckered out, so the kids and I took the morning off. We walked Sadie but mostly just relaxed. We played some games, mostly Wii, and watched tv. Steve came home for lunch, and then we headed out. I took them to the Ogden Union Depot to see the old trains and the train station. I love that you get to climb on the trains and even see inside a few of them. Incidentally, this is where my cousin Cassie took our wedding pictures (coming soon).

Porter and Brooke on top of a train

Me on top of a train

Porter
One of my favorite pictures - it was his idea

Inside one of the trains

Porter and Brooke inside the train station

After leaving the train depot, we went to a nearby pottery painting store, Color Me Mine, where the kids and I chose and painted pieces of pottery. I've wanted to do it for months and enjoyed it as much as the kids. These pictures show the unfinished pieces. They are being glazed then fired in the kiln. I'll get to pick them up this week, just in time to take them to Cedar this weekend when I go for Shakespeare. The colors will be more vibrant and deep.

Porter with his monkey head and 4 wheeler

Brooke and her dog

My flower plate

We went home and walked Sadie before Steve got home. We made tacos for dinner, and then we went to Fat Cats. The kids had been looking forward to this all week...well, since last November. Steve and I surprised them with hundreds of tickets that we've been saving for when they came. We also played some games and won a few more hundred tickets. In all, he and I contributed 1400 tickets! The kids were able to get some really good toys and were in 7th heaven. Afterward, we went to our favorite ice cream parlor, Birch Creek Mercantile, for ice cream.

Thursday, June 30:
I took the kids to the dinosaur park in Ogden for our morning activity. It was really enjoyable, but I'd like to go back with Steve so I can have time to read the descriptions of all the dinosaurs!

Looking for dinosaur bones

A wooly rhino! Who knew?

Panning for gold. They were thrilled they got to take home their finds.

After lunch, we went to Riverdale park for the kids to play in the splash park. It was overcrowded, so they didn't play there long. They tried the playground, but it was crowded too, so we went home after only an hour. We came home and chilled until Steve came home. For dinner, we made personal pizzas. Everyone got to put on their own toppings. They all ended up tasting delicious!

After dinner, we had game night. We had a water balloon fight (boys v. girls), had a water gun fight (started out adults v. kids but ended up as a free for all), blew bubbles with our extra large wands, colored pictures on the driveway with sidewalk chalk, played Sorry and Uno, then lit sparklers when it was dark enough. It was a great evening!

Friday, July 1:
All week long, we'd had cold cereal for breakfast. The kids and I decided to have a hot breakfast this morning since Steve didn't have to work. We had pancakes and English muffins topped with an egg salad of sorts with bacon. We packed up and headed to Cedar. It was the end of our week together.

I was kind of surprised to find that I was neither relieved or sad when the end of the week came. It was a good, fun, long week that left me exhausted and filled with wonderful memories. I'm really grateful that Steve is so supportive of me wanting to spend time with my family and he is soooo good with the kids. They love him and feel comfortable with him like he's been in the family for years. I'm already looking forward to next year!

Sadie

2011-06-08T15:40:00.000-06:00

Steve and I have a new addition to our family. Her name is Sadie and she's a 4-year old greyhound we rescued. She raced in Florida for 2 years and won 7 of the 30-odd races she was in. Her career ended with a fractured bone in her left leg. Fortunately, she was given to a rescue organization called Greyhound Rescue & Adoption and eventually ended up in our home.

When Steve and I first started dating last summer, we talked about getting a dog together someday. He wanted a doberman and I wanted a boxer. One Saturday at the Salt Lake farmers market, we came across a group of greyhounds and were impressed. He researched them online and read up on their personality, health, and general traits. They sounded like a good fit with our lifestyle. Despite their racing genes, greyhounds are couch potatoes. They don't need a lot of exercise to stay happy and love lounging around for hours at a time. Perfect for two people who work.

Last November, we started the adoption process. I've never tried to adopt a human child before, but I compare adopting a greyhound to that process, though probably slightly less intense. We sent in an application then were interviewed over the phone by Sher, the local adoption rep. A couple weeks later, we went over to her house to meet her 3 greyhounds and to get a sense of the dogs and for her to get a better idea of how we are with dogs. Steve had a busy work schedule through the first part of the year, so we told Sher we wouldn't be ready to get a dog until after the middle of March. Also, we wanted a smaller female, since we don't have a ton of space and our HOA has size restrictions on dogs. Well, it took a little longer than we had thought, but we finally got our girl the end of May.

I'm going to be honest, I had my reservations before we got her. I knew it was going to change our lives and wasn't sure if I was ready for those changes. No more sleeping in, no more being able to go wherever we wanted whenever we wanted. We'd either have to plan to take the dog with us or find a place to keep her whenever we wanted to go somewhere. Also, I knew it would be a financial commitment. I don't know if it was these reservations or what, but I didn't adjust well to having a dog our first week with her.

Part of the problem was that I am no longer working and am home with her alone most of the day. That isn't an issue now, but that first week, she stayed glued to me. Steve and I have joked that he's part dog and I'm part cat (for various reasons), and I realized the cat in me needed a break. I have never been good with needy people and a needy dog was definitely trying my patience. That wasn't all though, I got jealous. I know it's stupid, and it's not like I thought Steve loved Sadie more than me - I'm not that ridiculous. I actually enjoyed watching him play with her, or at least try to, as a racing dog, she's never been taught to play. It was nice to have him there to take her attention off me. However, when we were in the middle of a conversation or making out or whatever, and he'd suddenly interrupt it to pay her attention, yeah, I didn't like it. We'd go for a walk and I actually felt like a 3rd wheel. I realized it was silly and did my best to hide my feelings until one night I got pretty annoyed and totally let Steve know it. We talked and he's been really good to make sure that when we're having us time, that he stays focused on me. He talked to his buddy about it and received some excellent advice. I was a little peeved at first that he told his friend because I didn't want him to think I was stupid, but actually am glad he did because a) Steve got good advice that has helped and 2) I learned that I'm not the only wife to feel this way.

All that has passed and I'm really enjoying having a dog. She's unlike most dogs because, like I mentioned earlier, she's been raised as a racer and so is adjusting to being a house dog. She doesn't play but we're working on that. Also, she is experiencing so many new things. So many smells, sights, sounds, and tastes that she has never been exposed to and now is discovering. Also, as a racer, she has a highly honed prey instinct. This means that she views small animals as prey, so we have to be very watchful when she's around cats and small dogs. Of course, we always keep her on a leash when we're out and she's been pretty good to not shoot off trying to get a small animal when she sees them, but you sure can see her perk up when she sees a cat or small dog. Steve once let her get pretty close to a small dog and she nipped at it. *sigh* Men.

Last Saturday, we went to the monthly Meet N Greet for the rescue organization and it was a lot of fun. They meet at the pet store down the street from our house, so it's very convenient. It was good to talk to owners of rescued greyhounds, to get pointers from them, to see how their dogs have adjusted to home life. And I think it was good for Sadie to be around other greyhounds. She's never been alone without other greyhounds. It was also kind of sweet because she would always come back to my side like she was making sure I was still there. I think we're getting a sweet bond.

Don't worry, though, I am NOT going to become one of those obsessed dog people. After all, I'm part cat. *grin*

Our Wedding Weekend - Friday

2011-05-01T11:47:00.006-06:00

Every girl always dreams about her wedding. I was the same way, except I always dreamed about it being simple, stress-free, and relaxed. Then I dated guys that wanted big weddings with multiple receptions. That's great for some people...and I love attending big weddings...but it's not what I wanted. Well, dreams come true. My wedding was just what I had always dreamed it would be.

Friday, April 22nd
I had always wondered what it would feel like the night before I got married, and it was surreal. It was my last few hours of being a Merrell - the name that was my identity for oh so long! I thought I wouldn't sleep at all, especially since I had suffered from a migraine that day and had slept a lot. Nope, I slept just fine and woke up Friday morning in excellent spirits. I wasn't at all nervous, unlike my handsome groom, just happy the day had finally arrived.

Our appointment at the county clerk's office was set for 9am and we needed to be there at 8:45am. Our friends, Tim and Tiffany Neal, had agreed to be our witnesses and would meet us at the clerk's office - where they had been married, coincidentally. We arrived a little late (quite unlike me) because we had stopped to get my wedding bouquet (a single white gerber daisy) at a flower shop that had just opened and had been unprepared for early morning customers.

The ceremony was quick and simple but very sweet. We were in the clerk's office for probably 15 minutes, if that, yet it was an enjoyable 15 minutes. I remember looking at Steve while the clerk read our vows to us and we said our I do's. I felt so lucky to be marrying such a wonderful, handsome man.

Before the Ceremony

Walking to the clerk's office

Saying our vows

Getting my ring

Steve getting his ring

First kiss as man and wife

Steve, me, Ricky Hatch our officiator

Tim Neal, Tiffany Neal, Steve, me

Mr. and Mrs. Ellis

After the ceremony, we went to Jeremiah's for breakfast with Tim and Tiffany (Steve had changed out of his uniform but I stayed in my dress). I called my mom on the way to the restaurant and told her we'd just gotten married. She was surprised but happy. After breakfast, I called my dad and texted my brothers, cousins, and some close friends.

Then we did the really unromantic but definitely practical things that come with getting married. We went to the Social Security office (which was surprisingly open) and I changed my name - received the card with my new name just a couple days ago! It was a quick visit, which pleased us to no end since we've heard horror stories about waiting there forever. We then went to the base to get me an ID to get on to base without Steve and to sign me up on Steve's insurance. We wanted to go to the DMV to get a new drivers license for me, but it's closed on Fridays. I'll get there eventually. I can't wait to have a drivers license that actually looks like me! Mine is from 3 years ago when I weighed a lot more.

After all this running around, we came home and took a nap. Ahhh. It felt so good. I changed my clothes and we went to Salt Lake to recreate our first date - the aquarium and a Bees game. Well, we eventually realized that the Bees were playing in Vegas, so we just went to the aquarium and Blue Plate Diner in SLC, then headed home and went to African Cats. It was a fun, relaxing day and I loved it because I was with the man I love, my husband!

Finding Passion

2011-02-19T14:22:00.002-07:00

I am a romantic. I always have been, though I do my best to temper it with a healthy dose of pragmatism whenever possible. All my life I daydreamed about finding my true love, the man I'd love with all my heart and spend the rest of my life with. I didn't neglect my life waiting for Prince Charming, but I was always on the lookout for him - even those years when I was totally against ever getting married.

It's amazing how much mind space and time has been opened up now that I have found the love of my life. Some of the time I spent daydreaming about finding Prince Charming has now been channeled into thinking about Steve and our future together, but there's still quite a healthy chunk of time leftover. I find myself spending more time thinking about the other aspects of my life that, though never neglected, certainly weren't in the foreground of my thoughts. Things like my career and what to do with my time when not at work.

I'm realizing more fully that my life lacks passion...not in the romance department, but in every other one. I'm grateful to have a job, don't get me wrong, but I'm not enamored with it. It's a dead end job with no potential for advancement and it's not really what I want to do with my life - it lacks challenge and definitely is beneath my potential. So, I'm wracking my brains trying to decide what I'd like to do for a career. It's not very easy. I never had an idea of "what I want to be when I grow up". I definitely learning what aspects of a job appeal to me and what don't. Ideally, I'd like something that could eventually enable me to be my own boss.

Anyway, that's a subject for a complete and substantial blog post. I'm also realizing how little passion I have for any hobby or extracurricular activities. I enjoy doing several things; cooking, hiking, walking, reading, tennis, but I don't necessarily feel PASSIONATE about any of them - even cooking, though that's definitely the closest one. I talked it over with Steve a few nights ago and he suggested trying some new hobbies. I may not be cut out for passion in my hobbies, I may just be too lazy to care that much about anything, but I figure it's worth a try. If nothing else, I'll have a little fun.

The first thing I'm going to try is gardening. I'm actually pretty excited about trying it. Steve and I don't have a yard, but we have front and back patios that would be ideal for potted gardens. I anticipate having a good time planning what to plant, spending time with Steve picking out pots and soil and then spending the spring, summer, and fall maintaining our garden...oh and enjoying the fruit of our labor! I'm not known for my growing skills, but I plan on researching how to care for the plants we choose and really spending time nurturing them.

I'd also like to start biking. We're going to buy bikes when the weather turns warmer and we have a great biking/walking path really close to our home. In fact, I'd also like to try rollerblading again! I have art supplies I bought with the help of my friend, Doug, but have always been too busy (and scared) to sit down and paint. I'd like to try my hand at painting. I may be horrible, but there's the chance of finding something I'm passionate about. You never know! We're also getting a dog in a couple months, so that will be fun and interesting. Steve thinks maybe I'll be good at dog training. We'll see. And maybe this winter, when the weather turns bad again, I'll take up sewing. My mom once hinted that she may give me her old sewing machine and if she does, it may be fun to start sewing fun projects like curtains, pillowcases, and maybe even skirts...if I get decent enough.

At any rate, I feel good about what life has to offer. I am blessed to be in love with the most wonderful man in the universe. I have a decent paying job. And, I have the means and opportunity to explore the offerings of life. Life. I guess that is something I'm passionate about. I love living. I love my life.

I'll do my best to record my attempts at these hobbies, successes and failures. Hopefully there's more successes than otherwise. And, hopefully you have passion in your life. If you do, I'd love to hear about your passions!

New Year's Resolutions

2011-01-08T18:23:00.002-07:00

With so much happening lately, I'm kind of behind on my New Year's Resolutions. I haven't really even thought much about them until today. I had set a little mini goal to have this post accomplished by the end of the week...which I consider to be tonight, so I have spent a bit of time contemplating the things I would like to change/improve in 2011. I really appreciated Lori's focus on progress as opposed to perfection for her New Year's resolutions and am going to follow her lead.

2011 New Year's Resolutions

1. Exercise 4x a week. This is less than what I used to do, before I moved and my life turned upside down. However, it's also more than what I'm currently doing. It's going to take dedication but is definitely achievable. And, it takes into consideration my new life and responsibilities.

2. Pay off car and credit card. I'm really close to having my car paid off and should be able to finish it off quickly with my new job's nice salary. My credit card is another story, unfortunately. It's not horrible right now, and I only have a balance on it because of last year's financial difficulties. However, in the next few months, I'm going to have to put a big thing on it, hiking up the balance significantly. That said, I'm positive that with a bit of discipline and tracking of my spending, I'll be able to get both bills paid off by the end of the year...barring unseen circumstances.

3. Go somewhere new in the USA. This should be fairly easy to accomplish since both Steve and I love traveling and going to new places. Also, with a honeymoon in the future, it may be the perfect time to explore a new part of the country. Or maybe we'll go somewhere new for July 4th or Christmas. Lots of opportunities!

4. Pick up a new hobby. My mom said she might give me her old sewing machine, so I may pick up sewing. Or painting...a long time ago I bought some painting supplies but have never broken them out. Maybe gardening. We have 2 nice patios that could use a little sprucing up and planters full of plants and flowers would look great. I'm okay with multiple hobbies, but I definitely want to do new things.

5. Spiritual basics. I need to go back to the basics and strengthen my foundation. There are several ways I could work on this, but this year I'm going to focus on church attendance.

That's it. I don't believe in having too many goals...don't want to spread myself too thin. Okay, I wouldn't mind being thinner (teehee) but seriously, I'm hoping that working on these few items will help me accomplish the progress I know I'd like to make this year.

Wish me luck!

And, good luck to you on accomplishing your goals...if you made some. *smile*

Christmas and the Engagement

2011-01-06T22:43:00.001-07:00

So, as you know from a previous post, Steve and I had made plans to spend Christmas in Denver, so we moved up our Christmas celebrations one day. One the 23rd, we did what will be our traditional Christmas Eve stuff. We went for a long walk along the river (not necessarily a tradition, but it was nice), then went out to eat in Ogden at an Italian restaurant we really like on historic 25th Street. After dinner, we kept one of my family's traditions by driving around looking at Christmas lights. We drove into some nice neighborhoods in Ogden and saw some really nicely decorated homes. We came home and opened up our stockings. This was Steve's idea and I really like it, unless we have children someday, then stockings will have to be opened on Christmas since Santa fills them. Among the fun things he gave me were a teddy bear wearing a shirt that has "Someone in the Air Force loves me" written on it, mint chocolate truffles, a pedometer, and Mario Kart!! Yay! We watched a The Night Before Christmas and then played Mario Kart several times before going to bed.

Christmas Eve morning, we opened the presents under our tree. We started with gifts given to us by other people, then we opened the gifts from each other. We had limited ourselves to 3 presents each. I gave him a cordless drill and drill bits, a rotary saw, and Who Wants To Be A Millionaire for the Wii. He gave me a Peyton Manning jersey, a new digital camera, and a Kindle. I had been skeptical about Kindles when he first mentioned having one, but one week I was sick and ended up reading 6 books on his Kindle and fell in love with it. So, I'm thrilled to have one of my own.

After presents, I was plugging in my kindle and camera and realized that Steve had left the room. He came back in with an odd look on his face and one hand behind his back. I asked what was up and he brought a silver-wrapped present from behind his back. I gave him a hard time about breaking the 3 present rule and he said he hadn't because it wasn't a Christmas present. I started to open it and noticed my hands were shaking. I kept telling myself not to get too excited because it may not be what I thought it may be. With the wrapping paper gone, a Morgan Jeweler's box was uncovered, and my heart started beating faster. I looked at him and he smiled, and I smiled because he looked nervous. I opened the box and pulled out the white ring box. I couldn't believe it was finally happening to me. I'd always wondered what it would feel like and I was finally finding out. I opened the box and saw a beautiful ring, a ring that was better than anything I would have picked out for myself. I looked at Steve and he got down on one knee and asked me if I would marry him. I started to cry and managed to choke out a yes. He stood up, we hugged and kissed, and I put the ring on. It fits wonderfully, loose enough to be comfortable but not so loose as to fall off my finger.

So sparkly!

There wasn't much time to revel in the moment, we had a flight to make, so we got ready to go (after I hurried and called both my parents) and headed out to the airport. The whole time, I kept glancing at the ring, hardly believing that I was engaged! We arrived in Denver, found our hotel, drove all over the place until we found an open restaurant, ate, then went to True Grit. An untraditional Christmas Eve, but then, we had already done Christmas Eve...and Christmas for that matter.

The next day, it didn't feel like Christmas at first. Mostly because, as I just said, we'd already celebrated it. After breakfast at the hotel, we drove to downtown Denver and walked around a bit. Nothing was open except 2 of the 5 Starbucks we walked by. We got hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie at the first one. It was sunny and mid-40's, extremely pleasant and surprising. After a couple hours, we drove to Colorado Springs to spend the rest of the day with Steve's best friend (and practically brother) Jimmy, his wife Jen, and their two boys, Ethan and Brody. Oh, and Jen's family. This is when it started to feel more like Christmas Day. Even though they weren't our family, they were family, and Christmas is about family. We ate a lot, played games, watched the kids play and fight, ate more, played more games, and basically were loud and had fun.

On the 26th, Jimmy and Jen took us and their boys to Garden of the Gods, a really neat park south of Colorado Springs that has awesome hiking trails I'd like to try in warmer weather. Then they took us to the Air Force Academy, where Jimmy works, and showed us the falcons that Jimmy cares for as part of his job and the beautifully unique chapel. They are such nice people and I felt an instant friendship with them. It was fun to see Steve interact with Jimmy - they are pretty funny guys!

This is Jimmy and his family at Garden of the Gods.

Me and Steve in front of Balancing Rock

Steve and Jimmy, Garden of the Gods

Jimmy feeding Athena, one of the falcons at the Academy.

Steve and I in front of the Academy chapel. Isn't it cool?!

Inside the chapel. The whole place is designed around airplanes.
You can learn more by going here

On the 27th, Steve and I hit the Aquarium. Our first date was to the aquarium in Sandy then to a Bee's baseball game. We also went to the aquarium in San Francisco when we were there for the 4th of July. We both love aquariums and it's kind of become our thing. Afterward, we ate at a fabulous Irish pub in downtown Denver then walked around for awhile. That evening, we met up with Jimmy and Jen for dinner then went to an Avalanche hockey game. I'd been to a couple Grizzlies games before, but an NHL game is different. The play is faster and the atmosphere was buzzing. We ended up losing, but it was an exciting game, and I had a lot of fun.

At the aquarium. Fish, sharks, and octopi...Oh my!

Scary!

Can you spot the snapping turtle?

A big fish, though not as big as the BIG fish we saw in SF!

Us at the hockey game

Jimmy and Jen at the game

Pregame warm-up

The players about to enter the rink

The next day, we returned home to Utah. Oh, but first, since we had a couple hours to kill in the morning before the flight, we visited the zoo. We spent just over two hours there and could have easily spent another two. It is a big zoo with lots to see. We saw some fun animals. We caught the flight to Utah, happy to be headed home.

Me on the carousel at the zoo

A snow leopard

Kings of the jungle

Hey, the sun was in my eyes! It hurt! :)

Gorilla

An okapi. It looked like a cross between an giraffe and a zebra. Very cool looking!

It was a fun, long weekend. Definitely a Christmas I'll never forget!

Year In Review - 2010

2011-01-05T15:53:00.002-07:00

Last year may possibly be the best year I've had to date. There have been so many changes, some sad and painful times, and some really amazing good things. Great things, in fact. For so long, my life seemed to be a broken record, the same things over and over again, year after year. Some minor changes, but mostly the same. This year definitely broke that mold. I just wish I would have spent a bit more time documenting all the changes, on this blog and/or my journal. Oh well, here's the review of 2010 to the best of my recollection.

Places Visited: (new in italics)
Paris, France
San Francisco, CA
Las Vegas, NV
St. George, UT
Layton, UT
Ogden, UT
Denver, CO
Colorado Springs, CO
Manitou, CO
Riverdale, UT (my new home!)
Salt Lake City, UT
Vernal, UT

Guys I went on dates with: 4 (I think that's all)
Sam
Guy from Cedar whose name I can't remember. We only went out once.
Danny
Steve

Number of boyfriends: 2
Sam
Steve

Guys kissed: 5
Alex (midnight New Years Eve 2009/10 so I'm counting him for both years)
Sam
Brian
Danny
Steve

Guys I got engaged to: 1 - Holy Cow! I'm engaged!!!!
Steve

Craziest thing I did: Skydiving in Vegas with Aly and Cassie

Number of jobs: 3
Intermountain Hearing Clinics
Southern Utah University
Spinal Care Center of Utah (I hated it!)

Number of deaths: 3 (what a year)
Cousin-in-law Annie
Grandpa Merrell
Grandma Rasmussen

Big accomplishment: Maintaining my weight loss, I've lost 180 lbs to-date. Yay!

Least proud moment: dating other guys while dating Sam. I should have just broken up with him, but I learned a valuable lesson.

Brave decision: quitting my good, stable job at SUU to move to Layton to progress my relationship with Steve.

Favorite moment: Christmas Eve morning when Steve knelt on one knee and asked me to marry him.

Fun memories: farmers markets all summer; Bees baseball games; camping with Mom, Cassie, Alyson, and Katie; tennis with Cardine, Kyle, and Jon; sledding with Scott, Robbie, Mom, Jason and Rachel, Kevin, and Steve; dinner with Joy, Cardine, Sarah, Shiree, and Steve before Shiree left for England; sky diving (worth mentioning again); my niece's baptism; Bryce Canyon with Kyle, Jon, and Jon's date in February - the stars were amazing; moving into my new home in November; working at SUU - it was a great job; putting my contact in medicated eye drops and having my eye dilate big time; playing Mario Kart at Kyle's then getting it for Christmas (yay!); exploring Antelope Island with Steve; discovering lots of new restaurants in Ogden, Layton, and SLC; University of Utah football games (we're getting season tix for next year); Christmas in Denver and meeting Steve's best friend and his family; spending lots of times with lots of amazing people. I have the best family and friends!

Hopes for 2011: find a good job, marry Steve, look into plastic surgery for my excess skin, visit a new place.

I know it's a little late, but I hope you all have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Christmas...Past, Present, and Future

2010-12-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

As a kid, I loved Christmas: the Christmas music (especially sung at church), the lights on the houses, the tree with all our school-made ornaments, and the traditions of our family. After moving to Cedar, we sometimes we went to Vernal to celebrate the holiday with extended family, but most of the time, we stayed home and celebrated it with just our family. Christmas Eve, after dinner of ham, potato casserole, rolls, veggies, and other goodnesses, we'd drive around looking at the lights on houses, singing Christmas carols. I'm sure us kids would fight at times, but I don't remember. *smile* When we got home, we read the Christmas story from the Bible and got to open one present before going to bed. When I was younger, I'd always hope for some really cool toy to open, but it was always pj's. After a few years, I caught on to the pattern and realized that present would always be pj's and finally understood the coolness of getting to wear brand-new pajamas to bed Christmas Eve. Of course, we would leave a plate full of homemade sugar cookies and a glass of milk for Santa. Then we'd put our individual stocking in our "place". This place signified where Santa was to put our gifts when he came.

Christmas morning, we weren't allowed to get out of bed until a certain time - preset the night before. I remember being awake in bed, willing the alarm clock to go faster so I could get out of bed. (I was an extremely obedient child, as you know.) Corey would come in and get me and sometimes we'd go look at our presents before waking up Jason and Kevin. We'd all play with our new toys an hour or so before waking up our parents (also a preset time from the night before). After showing them our loot, we'd open up the presents under the tree. We took turns (usually youngest, Kevin, to oldest, Dad), opening up one gift at a time, so we all got to be the center of attention for a moment and so that present would get its proper importance. It also stretched out the fun, something I really enjoyed. Oh, and we always had stuff in our stockings, too. Stocking stuffers wouldn't be anything extravagant, especially when compared to what I've heard about from other people, usually just an apple, orange, banana, some candy, nuts, and maybe a small toy. After presents were opened, we'd have Mom's breakfast casserole, then spend the morning playing with our toys and often playing the game(s) Santa had left for the family. For lunch, we'd have Mom's delicious clam chowder. I can eat clam chowder from restaurants, but none of them are as tasty as Mom's. I really need to learn how to make it someday. The rest of the day was really relaxed. Lots of spending time together. It was wonderful.

When my parents divorced, things changed. We developed new traditions, started having two Christmases - one at Mom's and one at Dad's, and I lost a little of my Christmas spirit. I hate to say it, but it's true. It took a few years, but eventually, I started to dislike Christmas. I still enjoyed the music/singing, the lights on houses, and all that stuff, but I started to dread Christmas Day. I hated leaving my mom all alone on Christmas Day when we went to Dad's. Then I felt bad leaving Dad's house because we usually didn't stay there very long. And, I felt bad bringing the gifts from him and Paula home to my mom's. I probably made it worse than I should have, but what can I say, I'm a sensitive gal. *smile* Then my brothers got married and started having kids. Kids make Christmas. That's all there is to it. Having in-laws to plan around, and then a nephew we only got to see on Christmas Eve complicated Christmas. It started to become a 2-day affair. Since Kevin only had Scott on Christmas Eve, we'd spend part of that day with Mom and part with Dad. Repeat that on Christmas Day. I always ended up being the one who coordinated when we'd go where, and frankly, I hated it. I always had fun once the festivities were upon us, of course. I just wish I had relaxed enough to enjoy it beforehand. Ah well. Live and learn, right?

Two years ago, I scheduled my lap band surgery for December 23rd for two reasons; one because it was the best time to take off work and the other to avoid some of the stress that I caused myself at this time of year. It helped. Then last year, I decided to go to Paris on Christmas Day. I was still around long enough to be able to enjoy the festivities, but I was determined to not let the normal frustrations interfere with my excitement. This was a break-through for me. I finally realized that I didn't need to make sure everyone was happy. This wasn't my responsibility. I didn't have kids, I was single. Why did I need to make the plans? So I didn't. And I had a really enjoyable Christmas. I realized how stupid I had been for so many years and was determined that I wouldn't be ever again...at least about Christmas.

This year is the first year in a long time that I won't be spending Christmas with my family. Steve and I are going to Denver for Christmas. We fly out tomorrow afternoon and are coming back Tuesday afternoon. Since we're leaving on Christmas Eve, we're opening our presents tomorrow morning and doing "traditional" Christmas Eve night stuff tonight. After dinner, we're going to watch a Christmas movie (probably the cartoon version of the Grinch since he's opposed to Charlie Brown), then drive around looking at the lights on people's houses. I'm betting I won't get him to sing carols with me. *smile* When we get home, we'll have hot chocolate and open our stocking stuffers. In the morning, we'll open our presents and have breakfast. I'm thinking of making a quiche or maybe Mom's breakfast casserole! (I just thought of that while I typed.)

I don't know what the future holds, but I know I want to be with Steve for every Christmas yet to come. I want to have traditions that are ours, traditions that we establish together and can pass on to our children, if we have them. I know that some years we'll spend with my family and hopefully we'll spend some with his family. No matter where we are, I'm going to be with Steve and that makes me happy. The future certainly looks bright.

Wherever you are going to be this Christmas, whoever you're going to be with, whatever your traditions are, I hope you have a very wonderful day!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!

Christmas Wish List

2010-12-15T09:25:00.002-07:00

Dear Santa,
First of all, thank you sooooo much for the wonderful presents you gave me from my list last year! The trip to Paris was a dream come true, better than I could have ever hoped for. It was exciting, romantic, inspiring, and I got to spend half of the trip with my dearest friend, Cardine. Kissed four guys, saw pages and pages of historical sites (Notre Dame, Montmartre, and the Louvre being some of my favs), and visited TWO amazing cemeteries! Plus I ate an acre worth of pastries but walked so much I ended up losing 7 lbs. Yay!

Thank you for the new job too. The salary was quite a bit less than what I had been making, but it had potential to increase and it had health insurance, retirement benefits, and free tuition. Oh, and I loved the people with whom I worked. I liked it so much that I planned on working there for years to come, if not for the rest of my professional life. That said...

A million merci's for the boyfriend. Actually, you were really generous with this one; two boyfriends (not at the same time) and multiple interactions with several different guys. It was a romantically educational year for me, culminating in Steve, the man I love with all my heart and who I hope to be with the rest of my life. He is perfect for me in so many ways. Definitely the best present you could ever leave for me under the Christmas tree. I must have been a really good girl.

I probably wasn't as good a girl this year, but I'm hoping the scales will be tipped in my favor. On the chance that they are, here is my Christmas Wish List for this year.

1. A job. It's really hard being unemployed. I'm fortunate to have a place to live, renters who pay my mortgage, and someone who cares for me. I'm learning to depend on someone else (which is remarkably difficult though something I need to learn), but my self image is suffering. It doesn't have to be the bestest job ever; just something that pays my bills and gives me money to spend on myself and others. I'd prefer an office job, M-F, evenings and weekends off.

2. A ring. I'm pretty sure I'm going to get one this next year, but why not wish for it anyway. I've never wanted to get married more than I do now. I want to spend the rest of my life with Steve. I want to be his wife.

3. Mario Kart. For the Wii, with 2-4 steering wheel attachments. I love this game. I haven't played it since Kyle borrowed it from his brother and I miss it. I've probably lost all my skills. *sigh* I'm a little disappointed I didn't get it last year, but you gave me so many other wonderful gifts, so I'm not too upset. *smile*

4. A dog. I want a dog. I've wanted a dog for years but just haven't been in the right situation til now. I have a wonderful house and it's surrounded by a great neighborhood and close to an amazing walking path. I'd love a greyhound or a boxer. Nothing small and yappy, please.

5. A local friend. I already have some of the bestest friends a gal could ever wish for. However, they all live far away. I could really use a good friend that lives close...less than 15 minutes away would be awesome. Someone I can just hang out with without having to get on the freeway to see them. Someone to go to chick flicks with. Someone who doesn't want to hang out too often, because, quite frankly, I like to spend most of my free time with Steve.

6. Love and joy for all my friends and family. I am so blessed with the people I have in my life. Please bless them with the things that will make them happiest this year.

Well, that's it. My life is already pretty wonderful, so these items would be the cherry on top (except a job - that would be several scoops of ice cream). Thank you in advance for the presents you'll be giving this year!

Merry Christmas!

Julie :)

Walking in a Winter Wonderland

2010-12-06T15:31:00.008-07:00

I love walking. It calms my soul, energizes my body, and puts me in a good mood, regardless of how I feel when I start out.

One of the things I missed about my home in Cedar was its proximity to a wonderful walking path. It gave me several route and distance options, and I didn't have to worry about traffic. When I moved to Layton, I enjoyed discovering the neighborhoods near my home, but only one route really satisfied my walking requirements and I knew I would soon get bored with it. Then I moved to Riverdale and, happiness of all happinesses, there's a river walking path just a block or so away from my home! Yay!

Steve and I started exploring the area even before we moved in and I knew it would be perfect for my walking style. There are several different "routes" for me to choose from, all of which are just variations of the same path but which will keep me from getting bored. It's been fun to see the path change with the season, too. We started exploring in October, with the leaves changing into beautiful oranges, reds, and yellows. Last week, after being dumped on, the walking path became a beautiful winter wonderland. One day, I happened to have my cell phone along for the walk and decided to take pictures, as I was kind of mourning the fact that no one was around to share the beauty of the morning with me. Please keep in mind that A) I used a cell phone to take the pictures and 2) I'm not an accomplished photographer...or even a semi-respectable one. That said, here they are.

Most of the walk had been plowed but I thought it was really pretty during this long stretch of walkway that hadn't been. And, it gave my legs an extra work-out. Woohoo!

The Weber river is really close to the path and there are stretches of the walkway that give a perfect view of it. Steve can't wait to fish along the river this Spring.

There are actually 3 wooden bridges along the walkway...at least just 3 that I've found so far. The path is super duper long and I've only scratched its surface. I LOVE wooden bridges, so it makes the walking path just that much more enjoyable for me.

This is a view from one of the bridges, facing away from the river. It's hard to believe that Riverdale Road, a busy commercial road, is just a few blocks away. Instead, I feel like I'm in the middle of the country. I love it.

My pictures fail to capture the wonderful peace and beauty of the moment. The only thing that would have made walking this path in all its loveliness any better would have been to share it with someone I love. Where were you all? *smile*

Having Faith and Hope

2010-11-22T13:14:00.003-07:00

Life sometimes makes me chuckle.
.
Because if I didn't chuckle, I'd probably break down and cry.

Okay, I did cry a little. A week ago, I was laid off from my chiropractic job.

Yep. After deciding, and managing, to have a better attitude about my job, I was let go. It happened on a Friday, after the work day had ended. The day after I found out my car needed $700 worth of repairs. Steve had to pick me up from work that night because my car was still at the repair shop. I got into the car and responded to his questions monosyllabic-ally. He caught on fast and asked what was wrong. I started to cry and told him I'd been laid off. He pulled over and held me close until I stopped crying. We talked about my options. My boss had given me two options - to have Monday (the last day of the pay period) be my last day or to work a little longer while I searched for a new job. We decided to see if he'd let me work the rest of the month, just a couple weeks, but the money would be helpful. Steve took me out to dinner and I tried hard to forget about being laid off.

The next day, Saturday, we moved into our new home, which really helped to take my mind off my job situation. Nothing soothes the mind and soul like manual labor. I love the new house and already feel at home in it. This weekend, after spending Thanksgiving with my family, we'll bring up my red couches, kitchen table, and all the other stuff I left in Cedar. It will be awesome to have everything with me again.

Monday came and I asked my boss if I could work through the end of the month. He said that would be great and was happy that I had decided to stay a little longer. Um...how weird is that? If it were up to me, I'd be staying even longer, but whatever. Then, Wednesday after work, he called me into his office and said he had a better idea. Friday would be my last day and then he'd pay me for Monday (today) and Wednesday. That way I could get a little more money without having to work. It wasn't an option, it was how it was gonna be. I found out later that this change came about because the office manager, the diva I dislike, insisted that I be gone by the end of the week or she'd quit. Even though I dislike her, too, it was humbling to find out that someone dislikes me so much.

The past few months have been hard job-wise. I've learned just how much my self image has depended on having a good job, one that I enjoy and excel at and that challenges me. Not having a job like that has been really difficult. I don't regret moving here, being around Steve is worth all the job heartache. And, it's helping me develop a few attributes that I lack or am not strong in. I'm having to depend on someone else, something that my independent side struggles with. My brother gave me excellent advice about letting Steve take care of me and I'm doing my best to follow it. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful, generous man in my life who is willing to take care of me when I need it (and when I don't). Most importantly, I'm having to have faith and hope that I'll find a good job soon; one that will pay the bills and that I'll really enjoy. I'm trusting God that He knows what is best for me and that if I work hard at searching for a job, one will pop up. I've already been blessed to have a friend let me know about some openings at her job. I'll just keep praying and crossing my fingers.

For years, I led a safe life. It was a good life but a part of me hoped for something more, something new. Boy, did I get what I hoped for! Life is fun and new and scary and exciting and nothing is for sure, and goll darn it, I'm happy.

Yay!

Attitude Adjustments

2010-11-09T11:59:00.001-07:00

I'm constantly amazed by how often I need to remember how important my attitude is. A couple examples:

WORK
As I've mentioned before, I work at a chiropractic office. It's part-time, just Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays for about 8 hours a day. It pays just enough to pay the bills and give me a little spending money. I was so happy when I got hired - a month without working had done a number on me - but then I got an interview at Weber State University and suddenly my attitude took a nose dive. I started to see that my boss could be a bit of a jerk. And the office manager is a diva that creates drama and tends to throw people under the bus for things she does. I started dreading going into work. I really wanted the WSU job - it was full-time so more money and included health insurance, free tuition, and life insurance. I loved working at SUU and was thrilled at the prospect of working on a university campus again.

Last week, when I found out I didn't get the job (they said they really liked me and would have hired me but the gal they hired had a little more experience at a university), I had to re-evaluate my attitude. I started remembering the positives about my job. It's really nice to have the weekends off (there are a lot of jobs that would require working weekends) and a couple days during the week to do whatever I want; write, exercise, cook, run errands, etc. With my better attitude, I stopped dreading going to work. Yes, the doctor may be a jerk sometimes and the diva still gets on my nerves, but I also work with two really awesome gals that make work a lot of fun. I'm comfortable with my job responsibilities and am getting to know the patients. And, I'm incredibly thankful to have a job at all with money coming in!

WEIGHT LOSS
I stepped on the scales not too long ago and it showed 175 lbs. I grimaced! I actually grimaced. Yes, the number hasn't significantly changed in quite awhile, but I still can't believe I was bummed at weighing 175 lbs. I once weighed 350!

Lately, I've been thinking of myself as being "so fat". A big part of this is due to the excess skin around my thighs, arms, stomach, and breasts that make me feel and look bigger than I would otherwise. I'm losing good habits and starting up bad habits again. In the two months I've lived here, I've stopped exercising as much and have started eating desserts and snacking more. These contribute to the disappointment I feel about myself and my weight loss. I remember thinking I was so skinny as I was able to fit into the theater seats without killing my hips. Or as I tried on smaller sized clothes than I wore in high school. When I thought of myself as skinny, I acted like I was skinny - being more active and being more in control of my eating. Now, I focus on the skin around my stomach, my saggy breasts, and the other areas of my body that aren't "perfect".

My friend Ashley wrote to me about how our thoughts about ourselves can help or hurt us in our goals; weight loss, quitting smoking, anything. If we think of ourselves as fat, we become fat. I know this first-hand as that is what happened as I grew up. I was taller and bigger than the other kids my age and decided I was fat (really just hit puberty sooner) and eventually fulfilled that belief by becoming obese. As I lost weight, I was so proud of myself and felt so good and those feelings fueled my desire to continue to lose more. Now, as I've hit a plateau and with only 15 lbs to lose to hit my doctor's recommended weight, I can see how my attitude has shifted and thrown me off the path I want to be on.

Instead of telling myself I need to lose weight and focusing on my imperfections, I need to tell myself how great I feel and how skinny I am. My brain will register that I'm skinny and will help me act like a skinny person. As I remember to appreciate my thinner body, I'll feel more comfortable in my own skin again, and will remember to love the feeling of running and walking and will do both more often. Instead of hearing the words "fat" and "bigger" repeated over and over, my brain will hear "pretty" and "amazing" and "thin". And that's what I'll become (or stay).

Instead of telling myself to stop eating desserts and stop snacking, I need to focus on eating good foods. My brain doesn't need to have chocolate cake repeated over and over - it tends to ignore the "no" in front of those two words and starts craving cake. So, I'm trying to say apple over and over again. Fortunately, I love apples, so it won't be a huge deprivation. And, I'm sticking with my 80/20 rule and will give myself the pleasure of chocolate every now and then. And, I'll keep telling myself that I'm satisfied and not hungry at all, then I won't feel the need to snack as often.

I know how to lose weight, I've lost A LOT! I'm hoping that my new attitude helps me at what I've heard and am learning for myself is the hardest thing to do - keep off the weight. I refuse to allow myself to gain back the weight I worked so hard to lose. I believe my attitude adjustment will go a long way to helping me accomplish this goal.

I'm no Pollyanna, but I really do believe that looking at the positive side of life and the situations found therein can make life a lot more enjoyable. I'm blessed to have so many positives in my life and remembering them puts a smile on my face even when I'm as blue as I can be.

Living without TV

2010-10-05T09:47:00.003-06:00

Today, I'm not going to watch tv at all. In fact, I have a new plan involving television in my life.

Last month, I watched more television than I had in the past year. Not having a job, I'd wake up, turn on the tv, grab something to eat for breakfast, then pull out my laptop. I'd apply for multiple jobs online while watching Food Network shows by the half dozens. Then I'd go for a walk (sometimes, not often enough), shower and get ready, then watch tv while eating lunch. It would take me awhile to pull myself off the couch, but eventually I'd go out and apply at establishments in person. I'd get home about an hour before Steve got off work, so I'd watch more tv. Ofttimes, Steve and I would watch a show or two at night, too. In short, I watched a lot of tv!

Now that I have a job, I know my tv viewing will decrease substantially, but I also have two days off during the week. I can totally see myself sinking into the television abyss and not doing anything productive on those days until Steve gets off work. I don't want this to happen, so I'm experimenting with not watching tv on my 2 week days off (Tuesdays and Thursdays).

What are my plans? Here's a list of some things to do instead of watching tv:

1. Exercise. This past month, I've kind of gotten out of my exercise habit. Since I credit exercise with most of my weight loss, this isn't a good situation. So, I am rededicating myself to exercising every day and am going to start keeping track of my exercise again since that really helps me.

2. Write. I am not terribly ambitious about my writing. I will blog a little more and work on a novel I'd like to write. It would be awesome if something came of it, but really, at this point, I'd just like to say I finished a novel. I have the title and the basic story outline, so we'll see how it goes.

3. Clean. The apartment isn't exactly a mess, but I'd like to clean something every day I have off. That way, the apartment stays clean and I get back in the habit of cleaning. It's funny how many habits I've lost over the past year - too busy having a social life. *smile*

4. Explore. There is a lot of this area that I don't know and this is a great time of year to explore it. The leaves are beginning to change colors and everything is beautiful. I'd like to drive around, go on some hikes I've heard about, try different restaurants, and see all there is to see.

5. Read. Let's be honest...this is what I'm really looking forward to doing the most. I love reading. I have a long list of books people have recommended to me and am excited to finally have time to start reading them. However, reading can be even more addicting than television, so if I start spending all my time reading, I'll have to start limiting my reading time. So, I'll be judicious...as much as I can be. *grin*

6. Wii. Though using the tv, this isn't the same as watching tv, since I'll be up and moving around. Steve and I love to play tennis and bowling on the Wii and I always beat him. Always. However, he started practicing and is getting a lot better. He's almost better at tennis than me (he kicks my butt in real life) and he finally is figuring out his throw in bowling, so I have got to step up my game. This will probably be the least-chosen activity, but it's definitely something to turn to when I need a little something different.

I'll still watch TV in the evenings with Steve, if that's what we decide to do, but we have so much fun doing other things, that I'm not worried about us spending all our time together in front of the tube.

Mostly, I want to live life, not watch fake people on tv live theirs. So that's what I'm going to do!

Working for a Living

2010-10-04T22:00:00.000-06:00

I am now gainfully employed again, after exactly one month without a job. I'm going to be honest, I had a few mental breakdowns about being unemployed. It had been sooooo long since I hadn't had a job, that it was a little hard to not be earning money. That said, it was kind of nice to have a break. I was pretty lazy, when not applying for every job I could find, and even at places that weren't even hiring. I slept in, watched a lot of tv, ate too much (gained only a couple pounds, thankfully not more), and spent lots of time with Steve. Like I said, the break was kind of nice.

That said, I'm glad it's over. I feel better having a job; more useful, more productive, more like myself. I don't like not having a job. Especially since I have bills to pay.

The job I accepted isn't much. It's only part-time and so doesn't pay a lot, but it's a job. It's at a chiropractic office that is open Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays 9am to 6pm. I like that I don't have to be at the office at 8am, especially since I have to leave 20 minutes early to get to work. So, now I leave home just before 8:30am, 30 minutes after I used to have to be at work! I don't love staying til 6pm (usually we don't leave until 15-20 minutes after 6pm), but since it's only 3 days a week, it's not too bad. I have lots of ideas about what I'll do the rest of the time, but I'll save that for another time.

There are two doctors; I work for just one of them. The other doctor has 2 office workers, my doctor has 5 - me, an office manager, and 3 chiro assistants. One of the assistants started on the 1st of October, too. It's kind of nice to have someone there who doesn't know what they're doing, too. I really like everyone that works there, especially 2 of the assistants; the new gal and her best friend who told her about the job opening. They're 21-ish and kind of silly, but I like them. My boss, Dr. D, is cool enough. I don't see a lot of him, which is very unlike the last medical professional for whom I worked, and actually makes me miss Eric. He is pretty busy seeing patients and when he isn't, he sits in his office. I stay up front completely. It's a fairly easy job, nothing too challenging, but I enjoy it. I like interacting with the patients. In fact, it's nice being in a medical office again, although I really really loved working at the university and miss it a lot.

Well, that's the scoop. Now that I have a job, I feel even better about being up here. I miss Cedar, my family, my friends, but I'm glad to be here. I love Steve with all my heart, and I love being able to see him every day. It's fun to be having new experiences and meeting new people. I am enjoying exploring the area, too. The drive to and from work is surprisingly beautiful with lots of trees with leaves now changing colors. In short, I'm happy.

Sick

2010-09-20T13:40:00.000-06:00

I'm sick. I have been for a little over a week. Last Sunday was pretty bad but then I started to feel better, so I had a pretty nice week. Saturday, I started to feel sick again but I thought it was due to walking around in the heat at the Salt Lake farmers market. I love the farmers market, by the way. It is full of fresh veggies and fruit, wonderful breads and cheeses, crafts, honey, and pretty much anything you could ever want! It's fabulous and Steve and I tend to spend a couple hours there whenever we go. By the time we left, I was feeling pretty wilted, so he took me to get a fresh cookie and orange julius at Gateway mall. I felt much better so didn't think much of it. However, Saturday evening, I was in full-blown sick mode. Sigh.

Sunday, Steve insisted I relax, so we pretty much just hung out and watched television (mostly football) all day. At one point, I really wanted to make salsa using the wonderful ingredients we'd bought at the market, so I started to chop veggies while Steve ran to get tortilla chips. I had done most of the chopping, Steve was waiting patiently at the computer (near the kitchen), when I started to feel a little dizzy. I decided to just keep chopping since I was almost done. Bad idea. I felt myself start to pass out and almost chopped off my thumb. Fortunately, I just took a big nick out of my thumbnail. Also fortunately, Steve saw me sway and rushed to grab me as I fell backward. He lowered me to the kitchen floor and held a cold, wet towel to my forehead as I recovered. I felt like I was going to throw up, so we stayed in the kitchen until I didn't feel nauseous any more.

Finally, I felt a little better, so Steve carried me to the couch and held me tight. My hands started to shake and feel tingly. Steve explained that it was probably adrenaline caused by the experience. I was pretty shaken up, but slowly, I started to feel better. Steve asked how much water I'd drank during the day...none. So, he started pumping me full of water and I really settled down. He pretty much babied me the rest of the evening. I don't usually like to be babied/nursed when I'm sick, but it felt nice when he did it. It felt good to know he cared and wanted to make sure I was ok.

Have I mentioned lately how wonderful he is??? He's so wonderful and I love him so much!

Today, I'm just resting and applying for jobs online. I'm nervous about money, but I have to have faith that something will come along. Hopefully soon. I'll keep you posted.

My Grand Little Adventure

2010-09-15T09:19:00.001-06:00

I had honestly begun to think the crazy, spontaneous girl in me had died or at least fallen asleep indefinitely. I was nicely settled into a pretty darn good life. I loved my little condo, I had a good job with career potential, and was surrounded by my loving family and terrific friends. True, I lacked a special someone in my life, but I was still very content with life.

Enter Steve and that crazy, spontaneous girl in me awoke and now my life is totally changed!

Today marks two weeks since I moved and as I sit in my pajamas an hour after I used to be at work, I'm amazed. Amazed at how quickly I made the decision to move after years of trying to move but never having a strong enough desire to actually do it. When I moved back to Cedar after living in New York, I promised myself I'd only stay until I graduated from college. When that time came, I had a really great job I loved, and I was offered a full-time position at that job. I stayed. A couple years later, I was itching to do something different and was thinking about moving to Portland, OR. My boss gave me a promotion and hefty pay raise, so I stayed, making a 2-year commitment to him. I even bought a condo, pretty much locking me in to staying in Cedar for several years...or so I thought.

Now I'm living in Layton, unemployed, and having a ball! I miss my family and friends and my condo...and my paycheck, but it's nice to have a little adventure again. Every evening I go for a walk around my new neighborhood and am enjoying exploring the area. It's fun not knowing where anything is then slowly finding where to go grocery shopping, where my bank is, and trying new restaurants.

Job hunting isn't fun and there's a small part of me that wonders if I made a mistake by turning down the job at the alarm company. Oh well, it's in the past and I can't do anything about it. I have at least one possibility today at a chiropractic office. It's only part-time and not a lot of money, but it would be money coming in. If I get it, I'd only work MWF, so I'm thinking about applying as a substitute teacher for T and Th. Or writing a book. Or going to school on those days.

Last week, Steve and I visited the culinary school and I really liked it and was uber excited until the counselor told us the price tag. I had prepared myself for $8-10k because the culinary school in Vegas was just over $7000 for a year. So, my jaw dropped when he said it would be $25,000, although it may be less for me since I have a Bachelor's already so won't need to take the academic courses (math, english, etc). Still, I'm thinking it will still be close to $20,000 for a year. Steve says we'll manage it if it's really what I want to do, but how the heck am I supposed to know when I've never even worked at a restaurant? I love cooking at home, but it's gotta be different, right?

So, I applied at a restaurant I really like that is near my new home. The manager looked at my work experience and asked me if I had any waiting experience at all. I said no and he got this look on his face like "why in the name of all that is good would I hire you to be a waitress with absolutely no experience". He said he's pretty sure the place is fully staffed right now but I can check back in a couple weeks. Sigh. I haven't given up hope...yet...and am planning on applying at a few more restaurants, but it made me realize that my experience and credentials definitely are in the office sector of the workforce. Which would be great if I was ok with working in an office the rest of my life, but I'm not sure that's what I want. I want to be passionate about what I'm doing, I want to be creative, I want to be proud of what I'm doing.

Sigh. I'm not going to lie, having everything up in the air is a little scary, but it's kind of exciting, too. Life certainly isn't stale or predictable. I'm looking forward to seeing how things play out, to meeting new people, to learning new things, and to having new challenges.

Oh, and being near Steve is absolutely wonderful! He is so good to me and for me. On Monday, when I had a little money-related breakdown, he put his arms around me and held me tight until I calmed down. Then he told me everything would be okay and he'd always take care of me. Whether we're playing tennis, hiking, playing cribbage, making dinner, or just relaxing and watching tv, I love being with him. We laugh a lot, talk about everything, and really enjoy being together. I love him.

Well, that's the scoop. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that I find a job soon. Thanks!

Moving

2010-08-04T17:03:00.002-06:00

I'm moving.

It's a little sad, a lot stressful, and mega exciting.

I'm moving to be closer to Steve. Don't be fooled by any other reason I may try to give as to why I'm moving. They are all valid, but when it comes down to it, I want to be closer to him. *sigh* The truth is supposed to set one free, but sometimes it bogs me down in honesty, clarity, and forth-rightfulness until I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm moving to be closer to a man I've only been dating for 3 months. Me! I would never have guessed myself capable of it, but there you have it.

I pondered moving closer to him after the first month of dating because I knew this was a guy I really liked and wanted to get to know better. However, I figured it wouldn't happen for quite some time. Then, out of the blue, I realized that now is a wonderful time to get people to move in to my condo - it's the beginning of a new school year at the university! So, I discussed it with Steve and a couple wonderful advisers, and made the decision to move. By the end of that weekend, my condo had tenants lined up. Wow!

I have a roommate currently; she's staying until October-ish. At that point, I'll pray to find someone to take her place. The other two gals are students and plan on living there at least through the school year. They both move in on August 16th. I decided to give my work a month's notice, so I am moving up north Labor Day weekend. Those of you who are awake will realize the issue here. I am moving in with my mother for a couple weeks before I move up north. It's very generous of her to let me do this and it will be nice to get to spend some extra time with her before I move away. My friend Cardine has generously offered to let me store some things at her place on a very temporary basis, so everything should be taken care of. *knock on wood*

I'm sad to be going. I've been happy here. I live near my parents and my brother and his family. I love being a part of my niece and nephew's lives and will sorely miss seeing them, going to their ball games, dance recitals, etc. I have good friends here that keep my social life a-buzzin' and that I can talk to about almost anything. I'll miss my condo. It's the first house I've owned and as such will always be special to me. It's been a work-in-progress and I'm not leaving it completed. I have always felt at home there and have loved it!! I'm not too sad about leaving my job, but I feel kind of bad. It's a good job with good people, but it isn't something I'd want to do forever. It had potential to become a career if I had stayed, which is sad, but as it is it isn't too hard to leave. I feel bad that I've only worked there a few months, though. And, my boss is super generous and is going to try to get me an unpaid leave of absence for September, in case things don't work out and I decide to come back. Super nice, eh??

I'm stressed because I have lots to do to get ready and no time in which to do it. I've needed to empty out my back bedroom, my bedroom/bathroom, the kitchen, and anything else I want to take with me or at least take out of my soon-to-be-filled-with-strangers home by August 16th. However, I haven't had a whole lot of time to work on it. No weekends to work on it because I spend every weekend with Steve. During the week I work until 5pm and then have every intention of working on my house but something always comes up. Always happy things, but things that take away time to do what needs doing. Once I move into Mom's, my stress level will decrease dramatically (though not completely). I look forward to this.

I'm mega excited to move, though. It will be so nice to be able to see Steve on a more regular basis. On the weekends, we have tons of fun, but life gets put on hold during those days and I'm ready to see how we work out when life's Play button gets pushed. He hasn't seen me mad or frustrated or hungry/tired (which is a deadly combo). I haven't seen him any of those ways either. If things progress like I'm hoping they do, this is an important step towards that - being around each other more often, I mean. And, I just really like being with him. When we're together, I'm so happy. Even if we're just watching tv on the couch or strolling around the farmer's market, it feels good to be with him. He's such a great guy and I am so happy and lucky to have him in my life.

Steve isn't the only reason I'm excited, though. For a few years now, I've contemplated going back to school, either to get a graduate degree in Economics or to go to culinary school. Both interest me and both required moving, which I'm now doing. Both options are possible where I'm moving. I'm excited to do something with my life, to find my passion and to have a career that makes me feel fulfilled. And, I'll live closer to one of my best friends, my cousin Cassie, and my brother Jason and his wife and son. It will be nice to be able to see them more often. Finally, I'm excited to live in a bigger city again. I love my hometown, but there is a definite lack of diverse eating establishments. Mmmm. Places I'm looking forward to frequenting: Zupas, Bombay House, Cafe Med, Mimi's Cafe (divine mac & cheese, believe it or not), Roosters (in Ogden), and so many other places!! And, think of all the bookstores I can enjoy! *happy sigh* I'm looking forward to the adventure of exploring my new neighborhood and city and of meeting new people.

It's a little scary, picking up my life and starting over somewhere new, but I'm ready for it (emotionally, at least; technically, my house is still a disaster and as such I'm not at all ready). Adventure is staring me in the face and I'm going to win the staring contest or die trying!

I'll do my best to keep you updated on what's going on.

Happy Wednesday!

Curves

2010-07-15T16:47:00.000-06:00

I have curves and I'm proud of it.

I walked across campus today and saw a few girls sunbathing on one of the lawns. They were barely wearing anything at all, just mega skimpy bikinis. I'm female and human and imperfect, so I compared my body to theirs. They are young and fit and tan and skinny and if they had curves, they were kind of hard to see.

For a brief moment, I felt bad about my body. Then I shook my head with disbelief. I've lost 176 lbs and am literally half the person I used to be! I love how my body looks right now, especially when compared to how it used to look. No, it isn't perfect. I have excess skin from my knees to my shoulders, but I can run, fit in an airplane seat, wear cute clothes, and do all sorts of things I couldn't before.

I'm a woman with womanly curves. I have hips and a behind. I have breasts. If you saw a shadow silhouette of me, you'd know I'm a woman. I'm proud of my body and I appreciate it. And, cherry on top, I have a man who thinks I'm sexy and feminine and beautiful AND who makes me feel sexy and feminine and beautiful.

I walked the rest of the way to my destination with my head held high and my spirits soaring. I love being a woman with curves!

Steve

2010-06-09T15:25:00.001-06:00

I'm dating someone again.

In fact, I have a boyfriend. That's right. I said it. I.Have.A.Boyfriend.

His name is...can you guess??...Steve.

I met Steve on Match.com back in December, right after I started talking to Sam. It didn't work out at that time...I just wasn't feeling it. We somehow managed to reconnect since I broke up with Sam and I'm so glad that we did! We've been talking since mid April and have met up twice. We're hoping that starting in July we'll be able to see each other more frequently than once a month (our schedules have been crazy!).

Here's a little about him: he lives in Layton and is in the Air Force. He's 38 years old, 6'4", and has brown eyes and a bald head (he's balding so shaves it). He loves sports, especially baseball, and is a huge UCLA fan. I told him I'd be happy to cheer for UCLA unless they play Utah, then no way jose. He's a great guy; a perfect gentleman, kind of goofy, very nice, kind of shy, positive, dependable, strong...the list could go on and on.

It's still really early, but I have high hopes for this one.

I like Steve...a lot.

Softball

2010-05-24T16:50:00.000-06:00

I joined my work softball team on a whim. Last Spring, while watching the softball games of various friends and family members, I thought how fun it would be to play softball, to be a part of a team, run, hit the ball, move my body. Someday, I told myself, someday. Well, when the email went out inviting employees to join the co-ed team, I found myself responding. I attended the team meeting and got nervous, big time. These people could play...one of the gals is one of the softball coaches at SUU (where I work), which isn't intimidating at all. I told them I'd try my best but that I had never played on a team before so please don't expect too much.

I got more and more nervous, especially because playing kept getting put off; one practice was canceled, I couldn't make the other one, two weeks of games were canceled due to snow, so by the time our first game rolled around, I was sick with nerves. I don't know how to throw a ball and it had been over a year since I'd picked up a bat. And, friends and family were going to be in the stands watching! Sam, my ex, came up from St. George and gamely played catch with me beforehand, giving me pointers and plenty of encouragement.

Once the game started, I had a blast - I knew I would once I settled down. I play catcher. In this league, catcher is given to the worst player on the team...all I do is catch the ball when the pitcher pitches it. If a play is being made at home, I step out of the way and let the pitcher run up to take care of things. I don't care that I'm the worst player on the team. It's better than being in the outfield for two reasons; 1) I can't throw the ball, so if I was in right field and the ball managed to make its way to me, I'd have to throw it in and would look absolutely ridiculous and b) I'm in the game - I may not have a lot of responsibilities, but I get a hand on the ball a lot, get to practice throwing the ball (to the pitcher), and I get to chat with the umpire. I love it.

How have I been playing, you ask? Not too great, but not too shabby. I've had a couple hits, a couple strike outs, and made it on base one...I walked. My goal is to get on base due to hitting the ball and then to someday actually score. They aren't lofty goals, but they're mine and I like them.

My team is awesome. I'm one of three Julie's, which we all find terribly amusing. The guys on the team aren't as scary and demanding as I'd feared they'd be. They're very patient with me, give me encouragement, and give me high 5's when I do something even resembling a good job (like when I almost caught a foul ball). As a team, we laugh a lot and have a good time. And, we actually do a fair amount of winning, which is an added perk.

Two years ago, I would never have contemplated being on a softball team. Oh how my life has changed. I'm actually living it instead of letting it roll by like a twig in a stream. I'm doing things that I always held myself back from doing because of my weight. I love that my body can run, not very fast or for very long, but the feeling of the various parts of my body working in harmony to produce this feat is tremendous. I love when I swing the bat and can feel the power of my muscles in my arms and back. I'm about as graceless as a horse on roller blades when I throw the ball, but I'm getting better, and sometimes, every once in awhile, I throw it correctly and I can feel the difference. My body works and I revel in it.

I'll probably never be the best player on any team, but I love playing the game. I love being active and part of something outside myself. I love the sounds of the game; the ball hitting the bat, the Ump calling Strike (unless it's on me or someone on my team), the cheers of the people on the bleachers, and the kids running around laughing and having a grand ole time. I love the way my hand smells like my glove afterward. I love that my mom and friends come to the game to cheer me on. It's so cool to get up to bat and to have them rooting for me, even when I hit the ball right to the pitcher. I love putting on my jersey (#32) even though it's just on loan and I don't get to keep it. I love that my previously white(ish) shoes are now dirty from the red softball diamond dirt. I simply love playing the game.

Living with a Boy

2010-05-20T22:49:00.002-06:00

I haven't posted in ages! Wow! I now realize how much I blogged at my last job.

Anyhoo, for those of you who don't know, I live with a boy. His name is Brian. We met at a friend's house, hit it off, ended up kissing at the end of the second night knowing each other, then he moved back to Illinois, then he moved back to Utah, then he was thrown out of the place he was staying with a friend, and, since he knew no one else in town, I offered to let him stay with me on a temporary basis.

That was the shortened version.

It's been almost 3 weeks since he moved in. During that time, my official roommate also moved in - she answered my craigslist ad and we'd arranged to be roommates weeks before this happened. She's really laid back and was okay with it when I told her about Brian moving in the week before she did. So far, we're a pretty happy family.

It's an interesting phenomenon living with a guy who isn't family. Oh, and before I go on, I should make it perfectly clear that whatever spark existed between us when we first met is no longer in play. We're just friends...nothing more! We haven't kissed since that night, not even held hands! So, don't worry!

It's kind of fun living with a guy. First, you can shock ultra conservative people. Second, he tells me I'm pretty a lot. And not in the "I'm trying to date you so I'm flattering you" way...just a matter of fact "you are a pretty person" way. It's very nice to hear, especially from a guy, even if you're not dating said guy. Third, guys think differently than girls. We end up having interesting discussions that are totally different than a conversation I'd have with a girl. And, he gives me insights into the male psyche, especially in regards to dating. Fourth, he keeps a sink full of dirty dishes...oh wait, that isn't a fun part. However, it's something I can live with. Heavens, I've mellowed out a lot!

I'm not saying I'd love living with any ol' guy, but I'm enjoying living with Brian. I hope his situation gets better so he doesn't have to stay with me, but only for his sake, not for mine. And, I hope that the next guy I live with is my husband and I have a ring on my finger. And, I hope it's relatively soon.

I'm just saying. :)

Did You Know...

2010-04-09T12:20:00.001-06:00

...the longest I've gone without coloring my hair (since I started in 1993) was 18 months?

...that I once went 5 months without wearing makeup (January to June 1999)?

...I can wiggle my nose like a rabbit?

...I went one month without eating meat? Just to see if I could do it. It was easier than I expected.

...that May 15th is my birthday?

...I only have one niece? She's my favorite niece and I'm hers.

...it's been 5 years since I've gambled in a casino?

...that the last time I gambled in a casino, I lost $500 (my own money, not previous winnings)?

...I'm planning on going skydiving this May/June?

...that "While You Were Sleeping" is one of my favorite movies?

...that I'm exactly 5 feet 6 and 3/4 inches tall? (measured a couple weeks ago)

...my current toenail polish color is pink?

...I used to bite my nails but stopped in 6th grade?

...I bought my first computer in February? It's a red laptop.

...I have freckles? If not, do you not know me at all???

...that one of my goals is to run a 5k this year?

..."only the boring get bored" is one of my favorite sayings?

...I have an 11-yr old sister?

...that I once won a print worth $650 and still haven't framed it and hung it on my wall?

...being stranded on a deserted island without contacts/glasses is one of my biggest fears?

...I've never karaoke'd?

...I love to turn nouns into verbs and force them to be past-tense? (see above)

...Spain is now #1 on my list of places I want to go? Cordova, Spain to be exact. Wanna come with me?

...that I wear a watch again after 5 years or more of not? I love knowing the time!!

There. Now you know everything there is to know about me! *wink*

How I Impressed My Future Boss

2010-04-07T22:00:00.001-06:00

So many of you know this story, but I'm going to tell it anyway...because I can...it's my blog.

I can still remember how I felt as I walked down State Street in downtown Salt Lake City. It was a beautiful, warm April afternoon (exactly 13 years ago today), and the sun felt glorious on my upturned face. There was a slight breeze, so I was glad for the light sweater I had worn that matched my flowing floral skirt and white cotton blouse. I was on my way to a job interview and was a little nervous but mostly confident...even back then I was a pro at job interviews.

That day, I had decided to skip my last class so had arrived downtown early. I'm a freakishly punctual person, but an hour is excessive even for me. I decided to eat lunch at the mall food court to pass a little time. Clam chowder in a bread bowl. Mmmm. It was yummy. When I finished, I had plenty of time to walk the 7 or so blocks down State Street to the small repertory theatre at which I had the job interview. State Street is one of the busiest streets in Salt Lake and at lunch time it was teeming with cars and people. I strolled amongst my fellow walkers, daydreaming about my latest crush, enjoying the hustle and bustle around me.

I was about a block away when I noticed a guy running across State Street's 5 lanes. He was kind of cute, from what I could see at that distance. I smiled when he turned and started to walk toward me; he really was good-looking. As we passed each other, I said a quiet "hi" and my smiled widened when he turned around.

"Excuse me, Miss." he said, walking back toward me. He had an accent I didn't recognize. I turned around and smiled again. I figured he was going to ask for the time or directions or something. I was wrong.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Um...your dress...it's trapped." he stuttered.

"Excuse me??"

"Your dress...it is trapped."

I slowly felt behind me. He was right; my skirt was trapped. When I had sat down at the mall, my skirt had been pushed up and now happily resided in the bottom my sweater, exposing my backside (covered by undies, of course) to all the world.

Turning bright red, I fixed my skirt and thanked this nice, cute guy for telling me. I appreciated him having the decency to tell me my skirt was trapped, unlike all the people, women included, that hadn't. True, some of them may not have noticed, but I can guarantee that a lot did and said nothing. I try to think charitably; I'm sure they just didn't want to embarrass me. To this day, I always tell people when they have food in their teeth, a zipper in the down position, or a trapped skirt. Better to have a moment of embarrassment than to get home and wonder how long that piece of spinach has been covering your front tooth.

For a brief instant, I considered retreating to a safe place - I was at 6th South and could easily turn up it and walk the 6 blocks to my home. I needed the money, so I went to the interview. When I told the box office girl who I was, she called the boss, Tom, to inform him I was there. He said he'd be a few minutes, so I waited quietly for about 2 seconds. And then, because I'm a chronic oversharer, I told her about my trapped dress. She was still laughing when Tom arrived. He wanted to know what was so funny, so I told him the story. He hired me after 10 minutes.

He later told me that he had been impressed with my ability to laugh at myself and had known immediately that I'd fit in perfectly at the theatre. I worked there the rest of the time I lived in Salt Lake and considered it my home-away-from-home. In fact, I spent more time there than at my apartment. The actors and stage crew members became my friends. Tom was like a father to me and his family like my family. I even had Thanksgiving with them that year. I loved that job more than any I've had.

And I owe it all to my trapped skirt.

Bucket List

2010-04-05T09:50:00.000-06:00

Last summer, I had a dream that I was dying. I had an incurable disease that would give me about 6 months of truly live-able time. I quit my job, sold my home, and planned what to do in those 6 months. Spending time with my friends and family topped the list but the one thing I really had to do before I died was go to Paris. I felt I could be proud of what I had accomplished if I managed to check this one life-long dream off my list. I awoke from the dream realizing just how important it was for me to make it to Paris. I didn't know when or how I'd make it over there, but I knew it had to be done. I started to think about other things that I've always wanted to do and hence created my Bucket List.

Having a bucket list really appeals to my nature. Creating goals for my life and then getting to check them off? What's not to love about that?

My Bucket List: (in no particular order after the first one)

* Go to Paris - December 2009 WOOHOO!!!

* Shoot a gun - December 2009

* Go skydiving (hopefully this May/June)

* Rock climbing

* See a Cirque du Soleil show in Vegas

* Paint a picture (that actually looks like something other than a blob of colors)

* Hike Angel's Landing in Zion National Park

* Run a 5k

* Go hang gliding

* Write a novel

* Earn a graduate degree

* See the Northern Lights

* Love one man with all my heart and soul

The idea is that as I accomplish one item on the List, I'll add a new goal to the bottom of the list. I don't ever want to be DONE. I want to live a life of progress and learning and adventure. Hopefully, by the time I kick the Bucket, I'll have a big long list of things I've done that I always wanted to do and an equally long list of things I would've love to do had I had the time.

What is on your Bucket List?

And, if I like what's on your List, do you mind if I add it to mine? *huge grin*

Wasted

2010-03-30T16:09:00.004-06:00

One of my favorite country songs is “Wasted” by Carrie Underwood. No, it’s not about being drunk…yeah, I know it’s a country song but they aren't always about being drunk/depressed/cheated upon/etc. Usually, but not always. This song is about 2 people who don’t want to waste their lives doing or being something less than what they could be. Here's the chorus:

I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted

Last week, I was putting together a flyer for work and was researching quotes to include. I stumbled across this one:

There is a time in every man's education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that imitation is suicide; that he must take himself for better for worse as his portion . . . It is the harder because you will always find those who think they know what is your duty better than you know it. It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I love this quote because I want to be strong enough to be the person I want to be regardless of what people think about my choice. Most of my life, my choices have been in agreement with what the people around me would approve. What would I do if my choices ever don't? Would I be strong enough to stand my ground despite the disapproval of family and friends?

I'd like to think that it would be really hard...mostly because I'd hate to be responsible for causing my loved ones to worry...but that I could do it.

As a friend recently reminded me, life is only lived once and I need to make the most of it. No fear of making mistakes because I always learn from them. No fear of falling in love in case I get hurt - dive in and enjoy the moment as long as it lasts and pray to God that one day it will last forever. Do what I'm passionate about and what makes me feel challenged and fulfilled despite whatever obstacles, hard work, and sacrifices may cross my path. Explore, have adventure, settle down, establish roots, find joy in the big and small moments, love and be loved, cry, laugh, dream big, dare, trust, be myself...my best and truest self.

Live a life not wasted.

At Least I Have Options...

2010-02-09T20:05:00.001-07:00

I know, I know...I still haven't written about my trip to Paris, I'm sorry! I won't lie, I feel a little overwhelmed by it. I haven't touched my photos from the trip yet. Once I do something with them, I'll get a post up. Fortunately, I kept a journal while I was there, so I won't have to try to remember what happened.

In the meantime, let me get you up to speed with my dating life. And, for a moment, let us all rejoice that I actually have a dating life. Woohoo! Here are the men that are currently "in" my life, in order of interest more or less.

SAM
I met Sam online. He was the first guy to email me. We went on our first date mid-December, just over one week after he first emailed me. For awhile, I considered him my boyfriend. He, on the other hand, has considered me his girlfriend since our second date. Why is it that it takes me longer to get to that point than the guys I date? Doesn't matter. Sam is from Canada and has traveled all over the world. He worked for a few years as a security officer on cruise ships before taking his current job at an airline. His job gives him amazing travel benefits and he added me to them, so we'd be able to travel together cheaply. Things I like about Sam: he likes sports (and is introducing me to the joys of hockey), likes to kiss, has a great sense of humor, is quiet but not shy, is patient, and is strong. Not just physically, which he is, but he also seems like someone I could rely on, depend on, lean on when I need support.

That said, we've run into a bit of a hurdle recently, and I'm having a hard time getting over it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to, honestly, even though I really like him. I haven't broken up with him, but I'm taking a few steps back until I figure out some things. We're still going away for Valentines Day weekend - we're staying with my cousin in Vegas - and I have a feeling that the trip is going to make or break us. The funny thing is, I'm not even sure he realizes it. I mean, he knows that I was really unhappy last week, but he may not realize that I'm still unhappy. I don't know, maybe I don't give him enough credit.

DANNY
I met Danny online a few weeks ago. I "winked" at him (basically just letting him know that I had looked at his profile and was interested). He winked back, then nothing. For the record, winking is the only first move I'll make, and I haven't even done that very many times. A few days later, he emailed me, saying it was his first time emailing a girl he'd met online and to please excuse any "rookie mistakes" he made. So, we started emailing; our initial emails were pretty short and not very exciting - unlike my emails with Sam...we had such an instant connection that shone through even with our first emails to each other. However, they slowly have become more personal and interesting, and last night we met for the first time. He has two kids from a previous marriage and had had them for the past week. He stopped in town on the way home (Vegas) from Provo (where his ex and kids live). We chatted at a cafe for a couple hours and I really enjoyed it. He's attractive, motivated, LDS (Sam is Jewish), likes sports, smiles a lot, and seems like a great dad. He is an attorney in Vegas and is planning to someday pass the bar in Utah so he can move closer to his kids. I don't know where things are going to go from here. He lives far enough away that I'm not sure how often we'll get together...and I don't know how thrilled I am at the prospect of a long-distance relationship. However, for the meantime, I'm good with seeing what happens.

GRANT
Again, I met him online, shortly after I started emailing Sam. He lives in Manti and is also LDS. We've had some really good conversations through email, but it doesn't seem to be progressing beyond that. At one point, we exchanged phone numbers, but all he's done is text me, never called. We share a passion for writing, reading, and history. He's always very sweet and complimentary to me in his emails and asks me lots of questions about myself, my day, how I'm doing, etc. I appreciate the interest he shows...so many guys don't ask any questions about me and it kind of feels like they aren't interested in knowing me. Again, we'll see where this goes.

DARIN
Darin winked at then emailed me a few weeks ago. He lives in the same town as me, is divorced, has 3 kids, and is actually older than me. We talked a couple days after our first emails and he seemed...interesting...a little brash and loud. We set up a date, but things got really good with Sam - I started thinking of him as my boyfriend - and I felt weird about going out with another guy. So, I canceled the date with Darin. A couple days later, he texted me saying he was ready to go out as soon as I was. I told him I had just started getting serious with another guy so wouldn't be free to go out with him. He said he understood and asked that I let him know if things didn't work out with the other guy. I figured I wouldn't hear back from him ever again. Well, I was wrong. Every few days or so, he'd text me to say hi. At first, I wouldn't text back, I didn't want to lead him on, but he kept texting me. Then things went south with Sam, so this weekend, when Darin texted me, I responded back. We ended up placing a friendly wager on the Super Bowl outcome, and I lost. The bet was that the loser had to pay for a movie at the theatre, which means we'll be going out at some point. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm not mega interested in him...he's a little rude and sarcastic and rough around the edges. And, my dad knows him and doesn't think he's a good match for me. However, I'm willing to give him a chance, especially because he's obviously interested in me enough to keep trying even after I canceled our date and told him I was dating someone else. He didn't give up, and he obviously thinks about me during the day because I get random texts from him. I wish I could say the same for Sam. Sigh. :(

There are a few other guys not really worth mentioning in detail; one online (lives in WA), one in Cedar (has asked me out a couple times but 1)I'm not sure if it's just as friends or if he's interested and 2)I'm not sure I'd be interested if he is), and one that is probably never going to happen (a lady who works in a neighboring office wants to set me up with her nephew).

I talked to my dad this weekend about all that's going on. I was kind of stressing a bit, and he gave me some good advice. He told me to just enjoy the dating process...I haven't had a lot of dating experience, especially not with having several actual options at one time. He advised me to not settle on one for awhile, to test the waters, to enjoy the attention, and wait until I'm sure that I've found a guy that could make me happy. Excellent advice. I'm trying really hard to follow it. Because really, I've NEVER had this many options before in my life! They all may fall through, but in the meantime, I'm thrilled and am enjoying the ride as much as possible.

Check Another Off the List!

2010-01-15T14:30:00.000-07:00

My life seems to be turning upside down lately. So many changes!

Go here to check out what I asked Santa to bring me for Christmas.

Three days after I wrote that post, I signed up for Match.com. The next day, I "met" Sam. Now Sam and I are dating. I'm thisclose to calling him my boyfriend. Darn trust issues. If not for them and the fact that he's acting a little "different" (according to my darn trust issues), I'd probably find it easier to call him my boyfriend. Close enough. Check off "A Boyfriend". Thank you, Santa.

Christmas night, I flew to Paris. I had a wonderful trip. It was everything I could have ever hoped for in the fulfillment of this lifetime dream. I swear I'll write a post someday telling you more about the trip and will post some pictures. So, trip to France...done. Check that off the list. Merci beaucoup, Pere Noel!

Yesterday, I was offered a job at the local university in the HR department. I accepted it and will start February 1st. It pays less than what I make right now, but the benefits are absolutely awesome. I'll have health benefits for the first time since I was booted off my mom's insurance. I'll also have retirement, life insurance, and free tuition for classes. I'm going to apply for the MBA program and start taking a class at a time starting this summer or fall. And, now that I have my foot in the door, so to speak, it will be easier to get a position that pays more. So, check yet another item off my wish list! Santa, really, you've outdone yourself. Thank you a million times over!

I'm not holding my breath for the maid; however, because of my decreased income, I'm going to start looking for a roommate. Maybe she'll be a clean freak (in a non-obsessive way) and will be almost like a maid...that pays me rent. :) And, I didn't get Mario Kart for Christmas but I got something that is even more beneficial...Wii Fit! I've used it several times so far and really enjoy it. It's not mega difficult but I can still get a good workout.

Seriously, I've been blessed.

Hope you guys are all being equally blessed!

Year in Review - 2009

2010-01-06T16:47:00.002-07:00

What a difference a year makes! So much has happened, my life is different in so many ways, and I've accomplished a lot this year. It's been a good year in many ways. Let's go into more detail. *grin*

Places Visited: (new places in italics)
Casper, WY
Laramie, WY
Price, UT (I know, try to contain the excitement)
Beaver, UT
Milford, UT
Page, AZ
Bullfrog, UT
Delta, UT
Richfield, UT
Panguitch, UT
Logan, UT (woefully left off the first edition)
West Valley City, UT
Spanish Fork, UT
Springville, UT
Provo, UT
Mapleton, UT
Salt Lake City, UT (multiple times)
St. George, UT (lots of times)
Las Vegas, NV (several times)
London, England (really, just Heathrow Airport, but I'm counting it!)
Paris, France (that's right!)

Guys I went on dates with: 3 - one was an ex, one is a new guy, and one guy was in Paris.

Number of Boyfriends: 1 - though I'm still not sure I consider him my boyfriend...but we're getting there.

Guys Kissed: 5!! Don't judge. Especially don't judge that this number was 0 until the middle of December. And, don't judge that 4 happened in Paris and 2 of those were the same day. Finally, don't judge me because this number doubled my lifetime number!*grin*

Biggest Accomplishment: losing 140+ lbs. This has made the biggest difference in my life.

My Proudest Moment: Sitting down on the airplane to London; didn't have to use a seat belt extension and I fit into just my seat - no creeping over to the seat next to me! Woohoo!

My Least Proud Moment: A stupid decision I made in Paris that I'm not going to explain further. Sorry. :)

A New Experience: shooting a gun for the first time ever.

Weight Lost: 142 lbs as of December 25th, which was the last time I weighed myself in 2009. As of today, though, it's 150 lbs!

Number of Books Read: 40. This number is a little suspect...I think I forgot to record a few. Oh well.

Favorite Books Read: Terry Pratchett books (especially Witches Abroad), Fablehaven 1-4, and Lisey's Story by Stephen King (the only one of his I've ever read).

Fun Memories/Activities: Shakespeare festival, cousins weekends, car shopping with Aly, running, making new friends, hiking the "Blood Trail" in Logan, trip to Paris, volleyball with Cardine, buying smaller clothes, New Years kiss, walking the whole canyon trail, tennis with "the guys", teaching Primary, my nephew's baptism, riding the carousel in Paris with Cardine, kissing on the banks of the Seine, "dancing" with my youngest nephew - we have a special dance that he does whenever he sees me, spending lots of time with my family and friends - I've been blessed with the most wonderful people in my life.

Happiest Moment: standing in front of Notre Dame cathedral in Paris and feeling the impact of finally realizing a dream I've had since I was 14.

Toughest Moment: this fall there were a couple weeks of misery where I felt trapped - unable to progress, to change, to move on. I was so unhappy! The cure: I booked a trip to Paris. It gave me something to look forward to, then everything else seemed better and brighter, and I returned to my normal happy self. :)

Most Unusual Decision: joining Match.com; however, it's turned out great so far!
Runner up: joining Facebook. Still don't know how I feel about it.

Biggest Regret: I don't usually have regrets because I always manage to learn from my mistakes. I did a couple really dumb things this year, but now I know a little more about myself and what I need to do differently in certain situations.

Hopes for 2010: a new job, more traveling, reaching my goal weight, go sky diving, run a 5k, enjoy having a boyfriend (don't stress out like usual).

I hope you all have a great year!

See ya next year!

2009-12-23T14:05:00.002-07:00

As today is my last day of work until January 4, 2010 (woohoo!), I thought I'd take this opportunity to wish all of you a

Merry Christmas

and a

Happy New Year!

Bestest Weekend Ever???

2009-12-21T16:33:00.000-07:00

If not the bestest ever, this weekend definitely makes the list of really great ones. Here's a quick run-down of why I had such a great weekend.

* Thursday night: Sam told me I'm beautiful. He had seen a picture of me so thought he was prepared for what I looked like, but when I opened the door Wednesday night (our 1st date), he said he couldn't believe how beautiful I am. *blush* Woohoo!

*Friday: it's Friday (which is almost always a good thing) and only one week before I fly to Paris!

* Friday morning: received an email from a guy telling me I'm beautiful. Can't ever get enough of that!

* Friday morning: received a phone call setting up an interview for a new job! I know it doesn't mean I'll get it, but I'm just glad to have a chance to meet the interviewers face-to-face.

* Friday afternoon: a female patient that tends to irritate me asked if I had changed my hair color and style. I said yes, she asked if I'd lost a lot of weight. I said that I had and she said she hadn't been sure if I was the same person, I look so different. She said that she always thought I was a pretty gal but now..."You're absolutely beautiful!" Again, who could tire of that??

* Friday evening: cousin Alyson comes for a visit! We eat at Ninja then play games at my Mom's.

* Friday night: Mom offers to teach the Primary lesson...even though it's my turn!

* Saturday morning: sleep in, ride exercise bike, check email and have one from the guy who called me beautiful the day before and two from new guys - one of them saying my picture is "very cute".

* Saturday afternoon: head south with Alyson, eat at Cracker Barrel, shop, and talk/laugh a lot.

* Saturday evening: 2nd date with Sam. He treats me so well - very respectful, considerate, and attentive. The way my dad taught me to expect to be treated. Oh, and he kissed me. Kissed me very well. *big smile*

* Sunday morning: slept in a bit but still made it to church on time!

* Sunday afternoon: the neighbor guys finally took me out shooting after church! And you know what? I wasn't too bad. Hit my target (Pepsi bottles) the first 4 shots I took with the 22 rifle. And, I took second place (there were 5 of us) in the shooting competition! (Jon won.) I also shot a 45 pistol - talk about power! It was an adrenalin rush and a lot of fun! Here are some pictures.

Me shooting the 22 rifle.

Me shooting the 45 pistol. That's Jon behind me.

* Sunday afternoon: annual candy making with my sister-in-law. This year we kept it to a couple batches each of divinity and peanut brittle, and one batch each of peanut butter cups and fudge. Easiest and quickest session we've ever had!

It was busy - filled to overflowing, in fact - but it was a great weekend! Now, if I can make it through the next few days (which are continuing the filled-to-overflowing-with-good-things theme), it'll be Christmas, then I'll be in Paris before you can say "Enfin!" Woohoo!

A Confession and Sam

2009-12-17T14:41:00.001-07:00

A week ago I signed up for Match.com.

Whew. That was like ripping off a band-aid...painful at first but easier as time goes on.

I won't go into the reasons I decided to abandon my previously firm stance of not joining an online dating site. Or why I chose match.com versus any other site, including ones that purportedly cater to my religion. Suffice it to say, it was a spontaneous decision that has led to some surprising results.

For example, Sam! He wasn't the first guy to notice me, but he was the first to email me instead of "winking" at me. I like a guy with initiative, so I was impressed that he had skipped the "I think you're interesting but I'm too shy/nervous/timid to do anything but wink" phase and jumped right into "I'm interested enough take a risk, put myself out there, and email you". I emailed back and for a week we had a nice email conversation.

I felt a connection pretty early on. He seemed intelligent, witty, and kind - traits I look for in a guy. He asked me good questions about myself, which is an easy way to endear yourself to me, or almost anyone for that matter. On Sunday, he suggested exchanging phone numbers and gave me his. I hesitated to give him mine. Not that I wanted to keep things strictly email, in fact, I was happy he wanted to move away from the computer. I worried because I tend to sound like an idiot on the phone. My normal quirky, talkative, charming flirtations sound stupid when not face to face. However, I got over it and gave him my phone number. He called me Monday right after 5pm, but I couldn't talk right then, so I called him later that night. We chatted for a couple hours and set a date for the next night; i.e. last night.

He lives 45 minutes south of me and offered to drive to my town for our first date. I appreciated that. In fact, I appreciated all the little things that he did throughout the date that were chivalrous and gentlemanly. We ate dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and had a lively conversation about all sorts of things. He's really easy to talk to and has interesting stories to tell - he's had some pretty cool life experiences. Afterward, we drove to the bowling alley but were turned off by the 45-minute wait to get a lane. Instead, we went back to my house and played Wii bowling and tennis. I killed him at both. Bwa ha ha! Eventually we partnered up at tennis and killed the computer's team multiple times. Bwa ha ha! We started getting pretty silly and almost lost a match, so we decided to stop and just talk before he headed home.

When it came time for him to go, there was that awkward "what's going to happen at the door" moment. He leaned in, I went for the hug, he went for the kiss. D'oh! He stuck around, though, so I knew he was going to give it another try - I'm really impressed that he didn't give up. At one point while we were chatting, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, keeping me there for a bit while we talked. I had to look up (because of how I was leaning against him...he's actually barely shorter than me) at him while we talked and noticed him glance at my lips several times. I mentally prepared myself for a kiss, but he moved too slow. When he moved in for the kill...I mean, kiss...he did it so casually that I wasn't sure he was really going to kiss me, and I went for the hug again. Double d'oh!

Hello. My name is Julie. I'm 32 and a total dunce when it comes to kissing. I've been promised opportunities to practice...*blush*. Ahem.

He left this time, though at one point, as he stood in the doorway, he made a move that looked like he might make a 3rd attempt, but then he stopped himself. I felt stupid, so I emailed him as soon as he had left, knowing he wouldn't get it right away. I apologized for being so nervous at the end of the date and assured him that I wasn't opposed to him kissing me, if he wanted to. He emailed back awhile later and said that he did want to and that I shouldn't worry about what had happened - he hadn't wanted to rush me and would totally wait until I was ready if it made me feel better. I replied that it wouldn't. I told him that it has been awhile since I've been kissed really well, so I'm just a tad nervous that I won't know what I'm doing. Waiting would only make me more nervous. This is when he wrote back and promised to give me lots of practice if I wanted. *cheesy grin*

Hello. My name is Julie and I'm a bit of a hussy.

Before the whole scene at the door, Sam asked me if I wanted to go on another date with him. I said I did and we set a 2nd date for this coming Tuesday. Even though he offered to come up again, I said I'd go down for this date. I'd like to see his place, and he offered to cook for me. :)

So, even though I'm still cautious about this whole online dating thing, I'm glad I did it. I can't imagine how I would have ever met Sam otherwise. I'm not saying he is The Guy...it's way too early and there's a lot more to find out about him, but he has potential, especially for friendship if nothing else works out. And, there are a couple other guys, one especially, that have potential. Both live within a couple hours of me and one has already given me his email address and phone number and hinted at getting together. This is a lot more fun that I thought it would be.

*cheesy grin*

Dear Santa...

2009-12-11T15:19:00.002-07:00

Dear Santa,

How are you doing? Staying busy up at the North Pole? How's the weather? Is Mrs. Claus still in good health? Please say hi to her, the elves, and all the reindeer - and you might mention to Blitzer that I didn't appreciate his...ahem...on my porch last year.

Well, it's that time of year again, believe it or not. I must say that I've been an exceptionally good girl this year. While helping my mom with her new kitchen, I only swore a few times when I touched the sides of the outlets and electrocuted myself. I didn't do a single April Fool's Day prank this year - that hasn't happened since 1993! I've made new friends, managed to keep old ones, and have even gotten in touch with some long-lost ones. I have stayed out of jail and in church, the latter being harder to do than the former, as usual. In short, I'm pretty proud of myself and hope that I turn up on the appropriate List this year while you're checking it twice.

Speaking of lists, in order to facilitate your Christmas present giving, I thought I'd write you up a quick list of things you could leave under my tree...just because I know you're busy and could use a time saver.

MY CHRISTMAS WISH LIST:

1. A New Job. One with a decent salary and health benefits would be a plus.

2. A Boyfriend. One that is attractive, funny, thoughtful, and who likes sports. Oh, and who likes me.

3. Mario Kart for my Wii and two steering wheels. It's ridiculous how much I enjoy this game! And, I'd really like to get better so I could beat my neighbor Jon a time or two.

4. A Maid. No, I'm not too lazy or too busy to keep my home spic-n-span...I'm just trying to do my small part to help the local economy. Jobs are scarce around here! *sheepish grin*

5. A trip to France. Oh wait...I'm already going!!!* Feel free to leave a trip to somewhere else under my tree then. My top 3 picks would be Denmark, Spain, and Alaska. And, it would be super nice if you left a similar trip under the trees of my cousins Aly and Cassie. Thanks a million!

In all honesty, I don't need a lot this year; I already have some amazing gifts: a wonderful family, amazing friends, a comfortable home, a good job, the Gospel, and a healthy body, among others. Anything else would just be the cherry on top.

As always, my best wishes to you and yours and full-hearted appreciation for your generosity and kindness.

Merry Christmas!

Julie :)

* I fly out of Vegas two weeks from today! Woohoo!!

The Driver's Seat

2009-11-19T14:56:00.010-07:00

I knew the first time I got behind the steering wheel of my dad's truck that I wasn't a natural driver. I was 14, it was Christmas Day, and I had gone with him to run an errand. There was snow on the ground and no one on the streets when he asked me if I wanted to try driving. I didn't but said yes anyway. I drove for probably 5 minutes then was finished. Didn't want to do it any more. What was the big deal? Driving, schmiving.

I graduated high school and moved away for college, sans automobile. I walked or rode the bus everywhere and enjoyed the freedom of not driving. When I drove with others, I barely paid attention to what was going on in front or behind the car - I looked out the windows at the shops, people, and landscape around me, content - no, thrilled! - to not be in the driver's seat.

Most of my mission, I didn't have a car, just the last few months. I preferred being without one. I loved walking to appointments, sitting next to people on the bus and metro and talking to them about them, me, the gospel, politics (rarely - heated discussions seldom coincide with the presence of the Spirit, a missionary's main goal in life), and didn't mind the occasional sprint to the bus as it was about to leave our stop - it kept me trim...I gained almost 10 lbs when I had a car. Also, winter in Canada = ice storms = slippery roads, which, combined with my inattention while driving = a couple scary moments filled with prayers consisting of ohpleasestop, ohpleasestop, ohpleasestop!

I still dislike driving, even though I'm a professional driver (yeah, it sounds funny to me, too). I'd just rather not if someone else is willing.

And yet, I insist on being in the Driver's Seat all the time.

Without a second thought (usually), I can relinquish my safety and well-being into another's hands when driving in a metal box on wheels traveling at 75+ mph, but I really struggle when it's my Life and the "other" is the all-knowing, all-powerful, and all-loving Master of the Universe, aka God, aka my Heavenly Father. I mean, really. Some of the people I drive with are crazy drivers, especially...well, that doesn't matter. My point is, if I can trust them to get me there and home again without incident, shouldn't I be able to trust Him even more to do the same?

I think it's the planning that gets me. I'm a planner. When I'm driving Bertha and The Beast and going to a destination I've never been to before, I first go to Mapquest to get driving directions, then I turn to my handy-dandy fuel guide that a nice trucker gave me after this incident (please, for my sake, skip over the Shawn details!) that tells me where to find gas stations big enough to hold my rig and, very importantly, that have diesel. I'm able to plan where I'm going to stop all along the way. No surprises. When I drive with people...same thing, no surprises (rarely, that is). I know the route we're taking, no problems whatsoever.

Not so in Life. When I plot my course, things happen that take me somewhere totally different than where I thought I'd be. To be fair, I've generally been quite pleased with where I turn up, which should make me a lot more relaxed, but I'm not. It's not that I don't trust Him, I just want a hint or two about where I'm going and when/where the next stop is. I wouldn't care if I don't get married until I'm 64 (like my great aunt on my dad's side) as long as I knew this and could plan accordingly. Or, if I'm supposed to be the Next Food Network Star, it would be nice to know that I'd better book-it to culinary school!

I have several options for my future but have no clue what's going to happen - if anything! I could go back to school and get my Masters, then on to get my PhD so I can become a professor of Economics. Like I mentioned above, culinary school is another option, the one I'm leaning toward currently. However, neither of these options will happen if I don't figure out something to do with my home (i.e. rent or sell it). Or, I could stay here (and not have to worry about my home) if a) I find a new job, b) I get married (chuckle, chuckle), or c) neither happens, my house doesn't rent or sell, and I have to stay at my current job f-o-r-e-v-e-r. *shudder*

I'm not one that believes that God does all the steering. I doubt He's up there playing a grand game of Chess with all our lives. I believe that He allows us to make big and small decisions that impact our lives and the lives of those around us. I don't think He expects me to always sit in the passenger seat, it's just that I tend to never let Him sit in the Driver's Seat unless He hits me over the head with a 2x4 (which He had to do in order to get me on a mission).

So, with all the uncertainty* about what's going to happen next, I'm going to try harder to let Him steer a little bit. To have a little more faith that He knows where to take me and what stops I need to make to get me where I'll be happiest.

Wish me luck.

*One thing is for certain, though - I'm finally going to France! Woohoo! I fly out of Vegas around 8pm on the 25th of December, arrive in Paris around 6pm on the 26th, and arrive back in Vegas sometime on January 2nd. I'll spend a few days there by myself - I have lots of fun things planned - then will meet up with Cardine on the 30th for the remainder of the time. I'm so absolutely thrilled about this trip that it makes all the uncertainties a little easier to bear. Whew!

Today...

2009-10-29T01:18:00.002-06:00

...I feel pretty. This gray skirt makes me feel flirty and feminine.

...I got stuck in my new coat. The zipper refused to go up or down. Eventually I pulled it (the jacket, not the zipper) over my head because claustrophobia was quickly setting in.

...I'm happy to see the sun again.

...my eyeliner tip broke off after I had applied it to one eye. There was none left in the "tube", so I had to MacGyver it enough to get some applied to the other eye.

...I'm going to play my new Wii for an hour. Must get better at tennis.

...I'm recuperating from putting on THREE Pampered Chef parties in less than a week. Whew!

...all I want to do is curl up with my book, a mug of hot chocolate, and a blanket. Right now.

...I'm temporarily forever giving up boys.

...is Thursday.

...I woke up in a really good mood. It had departed by the time I arrived at work. It came back, though.

...while riding my stationary bike, I'll watch my first ever episode of The Office, thanks to my cousins' advice and Netflix.

...is a lazy sort of day.

...I found out I get to be on the radio again in a couple weeks - November 16th, 9:10am, KSUB. If you're in the area that day, give it a listen. Click here to read about the first time I talked on the radio.

...I'm having a good hair day.

...I decided what I want to be when I grow up.

...I finally feel fairly comfortable/confident walking in heels again.

Today is a good day.

Utah State University

2009-10-01T00:54:00.001-06:00

I had a great visit to Logan this past weekend. I picked up Shiree on my way, and we arrived at Sarah's house at 10:30pm Friday. Of course, we stayed up way too late talking but it had been awhile so we had a lot to discuss. Saturday we slept in, ate at a Thai restaurant, bought chocolates at the candy store and books at Borders, cooked yummy fajitas, then walked to the USU/SUU football game. We were a little late and had some trouble finding seats but eventually we did. Sarah, a USU student, wore a blue Aggies t-shirt. Shiree, having attended SUU but not really being all that serious about football, wore a cream shirt. I, having graduated from SUU and being a serious fan of the U (whose main color is red and whose rival's main color is blue), wore my only SUU t-shirt. I got it for free at a volleyball game, and yes, it's a volleyball t-shirt, but hey, at least it said SUU on it! Here's a picture of us:

SUU lost. However, I was thrilled that they kept the game close until halfway through the 4th quarter. Prior to the game, I had wondered if I'd be as vocal a fan in a sea of "enemies" as when I'm surrounded by people cheering for my team. I answered that question with a firm YES! I stood up, I whistled, I clapped, I shouted, I made it quite obvious that I was cheering for the visiting team. I've got to give the fans around me their dues - they didn't heckle me or give me a tough time at all. It probably helped that they were winning the entire game, but I'll still give them credit for being good sports. Overall, we had a blast at the game.

Sunday was the Sabbath, so we attended church, rested, and took a drive up Logan Canyon. It was beautiful! Sarah showed us a special spot that was peaceful and lovely. It was a nice, relaxing day.

Monday, before my meeting at USU, I walked around Sarah's neighborhood and up to the university. I could see myself living in Logan and attending the school; I was really impressed with both. So, I was kind of disappointed when I discovered during my meeting that the program wasn't what I wanted. The guy with whom I met talked about the three different Masters I could get, all heavily related to agriculture or natural resources. Yeah, not so much what I'm interested in. During this meeting, I also learned that there are two "branches" of Economics at USU. One is Economics and Finance and is part of the School of Business. The other is Applied Economics and is part of the School of Agriculture. Somehow, I ended up meeting with someone from the latter instead of the former. As I thought about it, I wondered if this guy hadn't fully disclosed what the other department could offer me. He made it sound like every Economics class offered at USU was doused in Agriculture. And he sounded a little bitter about the other "branch".

Back at home, I researched some more online and emailed the Economics and Finance department head. His PhD is in Econometrics and International Economics, two areas that highly interest me, and he earned both his BS and MS at USU. He emailed me back and said the Masters degree he earned is still available and it's more like a 1st year PhD program than a terminal Masters degree. He thinks it would be ideal for what I want to achieve and regretted that we hadn't been able to talk while I was in Logan. Yeah, me, too. Oh well. He told me to call him so we can discuss the program more and I will as soon as I get a spare moment. I'm excited that USU is still a possibility.

Next Up: I've tentatively planned a trip to Vegas for October 16-19 and hope to be able to meet with representatives from the culinary school and UNLV (their Masters program looks interesting). It also looks like my cousins will be able to be there that weekend, so it'll be another two-for-one trip: cousins weekend AND information gathering. I love killing two birds with one stone. Metaphorically, of course, I've never killed even ONE bird with a stone! Or with anything for that matter. I digress - surprise, surprise. Anyhoo, I'll let you know how that trip goes.

Change Is In The Air

2009-09-22T15:34:00.001-06:00

Whether it hits me or passes me by remains to be seen, but the potential for changes in my life is certainly present.

I'm not happy at work any more. Fortunately, I'm not mad at my boss like I was; we're actually getting along fairly well. He's changed, though, and that has changed how things are at work. I don't dread going to the office, but I don't look forward to it either. I work hard, but I don't put my heart and soul into the business like I used to. I want to be challenged and to feel like I'm doing something important. I want to love what I do.

So, I have a couple plans that I'm going to look into in the coming weeks.

Plan A is to go back to school and get a Masters of Economics degree at Utah State University in Logan. It would take me a year to finish, then the plan would be to get my PhD and eventually end up as a professor of Economics at a college or university. This is the safe route. I'm pretty sure I'd love being a professor and I already know I love Economics. I also have friends in Logan, which is a nice thing. This plan is also the most time- and money-intensive. I have a meeting with someone from the Graduate Program this coming Monday, the 28th, that will hopefully give me a better idea of what the program entails and whether or not it is what I want.

Plan B is to go to culinary school at the Cordon Bleu Institute in Las Vegas. It would take me a year to finish the program. This path is a little more uncertain. I know I enjoy cooking, but am I chef material? I'm not very creative. However, maybe learning how to cook will bring out a creative side to me that currently lies dormant. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't enjoy working in a mega busy kitchen, but I like the idea of a cute diner/restaurant that is busy enough but not hairy-stressful. A big plus to this plan: my cousin Aly lives in Vegas. I'll be going down to visit the school (and Aly) in October (date yet to be determined). I can totally see myself becoming excited about this idea after touring the kitchens and hearing about all the things I'll get to learn.

I'm not sure which, if either, of these plans I'll go with. I'm really quite happy where I live right now and would totally stay put if I found a new job here in town or if my current one miraculously changed back to being wonderful. However, I can't shake the feeling that something is going to change, something needs to change. I'll keep you posted.

Surrendering

2009-09-18T14:16:00.000-06:00

In case you haven't noticed, I'm not a very trendy gal.

I wear clothes that are classics - my style has been around since the early part of this millennium, if not longer.

My hair, though it changes length and color regularly, has never been styled like the "Rachel", the duck tail (thankfully!), or any of the other trendy styles throughout time.

I don't watch So You Think You Can Dance, The Office, or American Idol. (Though I've heard all of these shows are impressive. And, I AM trendy enough to watch ANTM!)

I don't have a facebook page or myspace account, nor do I twitter/tweet/whatever.

Blogging is about as trendy as I get, and even it has become pretty passe compared to facebook and twitter.

So, against character, I've gone and made my blog trendy (or at least trendier) by giving it a cute layout. At least, I think it's cute. I'm really into purple lately. I have a purple purse, my two favorite shirts and my favorite skirt are purple, I wear purple eye shadow (but not when wearing the purple shirts - I do understand the art of understatement), and now my blog is purple.

I like it. It isn't too trendy/cutsie. Just enough, in my opinion.

Anyway, happy Friday! I hope you have a great weekend!

Winner!

2009-09-10T14:55:00.001-06:00

This morning, hurrying to get ready for work because I got out of bed later than usual, I heard the radio hosts announce they were going to give away tickets to this weekend's rodeo. They were going to "act" out a scene from a movie, and to win you just had to call and say from what movie the scene came. They said the phone number, but I wasn't close enough to my phone and couldn't remember the number by the time I got to my phone. Oh well, I thought, I probably won't know the movie anyway.

Then they started the scene; it was the scene where Princess Leia is being held captive by the Empire and the skinny, oldish bad guy (Gov Tuck???) is trying to get her to tell him the location of the rebel base, she refuses, and they blow up her home planet, Alderan.

I couldn't believe how easy this was and kind of wished I would have been able to call in. They answered a line and no one was there. They gave the phone number again and I hurried to punch in the numbers on my phone.

Busy.

I hit redial.

Busy.

I hit redial again.

"Hello, what's your answer?" It was the male radio host! I was on the radio!

"Star Wars" was my reply.

"Correct!" shouted the female radio host, "You're the winner!"

"Wait a second" said the male, "Which Star Wars movie?"

"Oh honestly" sighed the female, "The Star Wars, that's what they call it!"

"The first one" says I, "Well, not the first one, the fourth one actually, but the one that came out first, so yeah, the first one, I can't remember the other name for it, but the one that came out in 1977."

Stop, Julie! You're totally rambling!

Mercifully, I stopped talking. The female expressed her admiration that I knew the year it came out. I was going to say that it's the year I was born, but was afraid to start down another rambling path, so instead just said thanks.

They asked who I was going to take to the rodeo and my mind blanked, so I said something stupid about not knowing, it depends on who wants it most, or something like that. Stupid!

They told me to hold on and they'd get my info, then a commercial started and the female host asked me my last name (they had asked my first name on air), my address, and my phone number then told me where and when I could pick up the tickets. I picked them up before work.

I've never won anything from the radio before. Honestly, it's something I've never even considered trying - I'm usually too lazy. Today, the stars aligned in my favor and the easiest contest known to mankind (honestly, Star Wars, who doesn't know every line from that movie? *smile*) dropped in my lap and I actually took advantage of the situation. And, luckily enough, I won something that I really enjoy. Rodeos = fun.

So, yeah, now I need to choose someone to go with. I'd really like to go with a certain neighbor of mine, but recent events make me a little timid to ask him. No, I'm not going to go into details. Fortunately, it's been resolved and I'm moving forward, slowly and timidly. Besides, I have tons of awesome people in my life, so there's an abundance of people from whom to choose.

Today is a blessed day. Much better than yesterday.

Woohoo for winning!

Update

2009-08-26T13:33:00.003-06:00

In case you're interested, last night was a lot of fun. I knew it would be; he and I have hung out together enough times that I wasn't worried about whether we'd have a good time.

We got to the game a couple minutes late. My fault, I had had a million things to do beforehand and fell behind due to a lengthy conversation with my boss. So, really, it was my boss's fault. *smile* The weather was perfect for watching softball, warm but with a cool breeze. Really, it couldn't have been better.

I warned him that I'm a vocal watcher and proved it when my friend Jeff got up to bat. He laughed when I told him I'm even worse when watching football on tv at home. He said something about him getting to see it firsthand when we watch football together, especially because he's planning on cheering for BYU just because he knows I'm a Utah fan. (Woohoo for future plans!)

The whole thing was really relaxed. We watched the game, cheered for Jeff's team, and chatted about softball, sports, and other things. Not too much though. I may be a talker, but I'm also a sports fan. I like to watch the game! It was a really good balance of both talking and just watching.

Jeff's team won quite easily, and afterward Jeff came over to talk to us. After awhile we were joined by a guy that all of us know and eventually Jeff and I were talking off to one side, quietly. Jeff told me that He is a keeper and that he (Jeff) thinks He likes me because of how He interacts with me. It was really good to see Jeff and talk with him. I really miss him, more than Liz, actually. And, it was helpful to get Jeff's insight into things.

After the game, we went to His place and talked for an hour about sports, religion, and dating before playing a few hands of Double Solitaire (I think is what he called it). I won each time, though just barely the last time. We laughed a lot. I like a guy who makes me laugh and who laughs a lot. It's very attractive. Just as we were finishing the last game, his roommate came home and the three of us played Sorry (we've played it every night for a few nights - I never win - I think that's why they like to play it since I tend to win a lot of other games *smile*). At 11pm, the time I had told them I had to go home because I worked early this morning (a testing job), a few of their friends came over. They all tried to get me to stay longer, but I resisted the temptation and went home.

As much as I'd LOVE for him to ask me out, I'm not holding my breath. I do think he likes me; we have a lot of fun together, he tells me things he says he doesn't tell other people, he compliments me in small ways, he picks up on things about me without me having to point them out, etc. However, he might not like me enough. It's perfectly reasonable to suppose that he likes me a lot as a friend and as nothing more. Or, he might like me more but not enough to be brave enough to ask me out. Or, he may not be in a dating frame of mind. Who knows! And really, it doesn't matter right now.

No matter how he feels, I enjoy spending time with him and really value his friendship. I'm just happy that I've discovered that I can invite him to do things, that he will probably say yes, and that we'll have a great time together and weirdness won't ensue. That was my biggest worry about asking him to the softball game; that he'd realize that I like him, freak out, and poof goes our friendship.

I think my mom's advice from yesterday is perfect and so I'm going to try my best to go with it: be patient. If it ends up happening, awesome. If it doesn't, at least I'll have a really great friend.

Being Brave

2009-08-25T15:59:00.001-06:00

Those of you who know me well know that I don't ask out boys. Not on first dates, that is. I'm very big on reciprocal dates - asking a guy out only after he has asked me out 2-3 times. I'm not against other girls asking boys out on first dates (I'm actually quite impressed by them), I just don't do it myself. There are reasons for this stance, but they are not the topic of this post.

Today, I got as close to asking a guy out on a first date as I could possibly get without actually asking him on a date.

I asked him if he wanted to go watch softball with me. He said yes.

Okay, tell me the truth, am I lame?

Never mind, don't answer that. I think I already know.

Here's the deal. I really like this guy. He does things that make me think he might like me (though they could be interpreted to mean he just enjoys my friendship). He's shy and really good-looking. And, I'm a coward.

I've heard that guys love when a girl they like asks them out but that they hate when a girl they don't like asks them out. Seriously, what's a girl to do? He's not asking me out. Is it because he doesn't like me or because he's shy and doesn't realize I like him. How to let him know I like him in case he likes me without making him worried I like him if he doesn't like me? See? This is why I don't ask guys out until they've asked me out a few times.

Not that this is a date. It's two people walking to the softball park and watching one of the people's old roommate's fiance play softball. No one is picking up the other. No one is paying for the other to do or eat anything.

Somehow, I'm not comforted. I feel like I've played my cards and am now just hoping for the best. This is how people get burned. It's also how people get big rewards. It's the law of Risk Management. The more you risk, the larger the potential reward or loss. I have a low Risk Tolerance - I usually only make sure bets. Maybe that's why I'm still in the game.

My brother often says "Go Big or Go Home" when we play games. I think it's his way of goading me into doing something foolish, but a lot of times I've ended up winning the game when I've adopted that attitude. I guess I've decided it's time for me to Go Big.

We'll see what happens.

Hair Cut

2009-08-21T14:32:00.000-06:00

Long hair is beautiful...

...on other people.

On me, it's limp. And annoying. And the back always flips out in a very unbecoming way. I find myself putting it up in a ponytail or a clip in order to get it out of the way. When I start putting my hair up three times a week or more, for several weeks in a row, it's time for me to cut my hair.

So, I did.

Before

After

Okay, so I don't think the before shot is very good. I was actually having a pretty decent hair day. (Oh, and I absolutely LOVE that purple shirt!) You'll just have to believe me that my hair wasn't looking good most of the time - especially the bangs!

I like shorter hair cuts. I think I look better, it takes less time to dry, and I use less shampoo and conditioner. Oh, and I can't do it in a ponytail any more. Pigtails, yes, but I try to avoid those since I think they make me look like I'm 9 yrs old.

That's it. Just thought I'd share. *smile*

2009-08-11T14:29:00.001-06:00

I love life's ebbs and flows. A few months ago, I felt like my life was a bit stale and that nothing really ever happened. Before I knew it, the tide turned and I'm being blessed with an abundance of activities, friends, and interesting experiences.

Take this past weekend for an example. I didn't have a moment's rest and I loved every minute of it.

Friday
...Got home from work without any plans for the evening
...Read outside on my porch for 10 minutes before neighbor came home
...Received text from neighbor asking if I wanted to hang out, I said yes
...Went to his condo and ended up helping him rearrange his living room furniture - I love rearranging furniture!
...Went with him to Big Lots and Walmart in search of a new TV stand for him
...Was invited to his friends' house, we accepted, and spent a couple hours chatting with them
...After answering questions about hearing, agreed to test their hearing - at midnight!
...Went back to neighbor's house, just the two of us, and talked til 3am

Saturday
...Woke up at 9am
...Rode my exercise bike for 25 minutes
...Showered, prepared for my "date" with my 6-yr old niece Brooke
...Picked up Brooke and went to Garden House for lunch
...Was at Garden House at the same time as a Shakespearean Festival party of sorts
...Introduced Brooke to both the founder of the Festival and my most favorite actor *swoon*
...After lunch, both of us had manicures - she received something special for being so well-behaved, the manicurist put flower stickers and cute designs all over her nails
...Brooke was in 7th heaven - finally being pampered like the princess she is!
...Bought peanut butter cookie ingredients
...On the drive home from the store, was rear-ended on Main St.
...No one hurt, other driver's fault, she's very cool and seems on the ball about getting her insurance to pay for the damage - let's hope it works out as well as it sounds
...At home, made peanut butter cookies, delivered some to neighbor couple who loaned us vanilla to make the cookies, the only item I didn't buy because I thought I had it at home but really didn't - however, I now have THREE boxes of baking powder and TWO of baking soda!
...Played PIUE for a bit before taking Brooke home
...Hurried home to prepare for party at my house - vacuumed, cleaned up cookie-making mess, made bed, ate dinner
...First party guests arrive shortly after 7, soon afterward everyone invited is there
...Play Hit or Miss - Cardine and I tied for 1st, woohoo!
...Each person used their scratch paper from the game to make an airplane
...Had an airplane flying contest from my porch - Warnser won - I'm pretty sure he cheated but I can't prove it
...Saw neighbor while outside, invited him and his friend to the party
...We played CLR, a very very easy dice game that is surprising really fun
...Went to neighbor's condo, took personality color quiz - I'm equal parts red, yellow, and blue
...Used answer sheets to make airplanes and had another airplane flying contest - Warnser won again, his plane flew into the yard three houses down
...Chatted a little
...Everyone left, neighbor and I talked until 3:45am

Sunday
...Woke up at 8:30am
...Prepared Primary lesson (first time I'd had the chance to even look at the lesson all week!)
...Ate brunch
...Went to church
...Slept and read for a couple hours
...Renewed my temple recommend (finally!)
...Visited Dad for a couple hours
...Visited Mom for a couple hours
...Arrived home just before 9pm
...At 9pm, received invite from neighbor to star gaze with him in his back yard, I accepted
...Stargazed for an hour or so, while eating home-cooked (but not homemade) bread with homemade strawberry jam
...Neighbor's roommate returned home and the three of us talked until 1am

Other than the part about being rear-ended on Saturday, the weekend was absolutely, amazingly fun. True, I didn't get a lot of sleep. True, I didn't win a single airplane flying contest. True, I ate too much junk Saturday night. True, I wouldn't change a thing...except maybe take a different route home from the grocery store. *smile*

Something New

2009-08-07T16:25:00.001-06:00

I readily admit to being a bit of an impulse buyer.

Not a completely out-of-control impulse buyer, just an occasional, when the mood hits impulse buyer.

I'd worry about it more if the mood "hit" more regularly, but it really doesn't. I can usually talk myself out of most purchases, so I don't spend a lot of money on a regular basis. Especially since I rarely even think of buying things. Especially not expensive things.

However, when I decide I want to buy something and it fits into how I perceive my life, I buy it. As immediately as possible.

Last night, I decided I wanted a new tv so I could put my old one in front of my exercise bike, and with that, the decision was made. Within an hour, I had purchased this:
It's a Samsung 26" Flatscreen TV. I've named it Norman. Just kidding! Who would name their television! Honestly!

It's really light-weight so easy to carry, which was important as I live on the third floor. It was also surprisingly easy to set-up and I was watching it shortly after arriving back home. It fits my home well - not too big and overwhelming, but big enough. I invited my new neighbors up to see it, and they approve. Now they want a flatscreen tv, too.

It's funny because I have NEVER wanted a flatscreen tv before. And yet, I now have one.

Life has a sense of humor.

What I Love

2009-07-20T15:46:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling pretty up-beat lately; life has been treating me fairly well. So, basking in my warm and fuzzy mood, here's a purely positive list of things that make me happy.

I Love...

...Waking up in time to see the sunrise

...Chocolate truffles

...Lower numbers on the bathroom scale

...Making new friends

...New neighbors - especially two who are male, single, attractive, and funny

...My church calling (job) - I teach Primary, the 11-year old kids

...Camping, especially with my family

...New possibilities

...Cemeteries

...Meatloaf - my recipe is my favorite because it's the closest to what Mom used to make

...Pink (the color and the singer)

...Sitting on my porch, especially when it's raining

...The smell of fresh-cut grass

...Starting a new book

...Rereading a favorite book

...Talking to old friends (or new ones) 'til the wee hours of the night - even if I have to wake up early the next morning

...Trying new recipes

...Retrying a recipe after messing it up the first time

...Tweaking a good recipe to make it one I really want to use often

...Having one recipe that never works out (bread) to keep me humble and to give me something to aspire to

...The pillow covers Cassie made me for my birthday

...Water

...Having a plan

...Playing croquet (extreme or otherwise)

...Brownies, pie, baklava, chocolate chip cookies, popsicles

...Getting emails on my BlackBerry

...Necklaces

...Watching softball

...Dinner parties - I'm thinking of having one soon!

...Guernsey, WY

...Cousins weekends

...Driving around town with my mom looking at new houses

...Living alone

...Hugs from my niece and nephews

...Getting book recommendations from my 10-year old sister

...Ribeye steaks cooked medium

...My home

That's a pretty good list for the time-being. There are certainly things that could be added, but I'll save them for another day. *smile*

A Day of Nothing-To-Do

2009-07-11T21:52:00.005-06:00

Today, I had nothing to do.

My house was clean, no family functions, and no plans with friends. I was totally free to do whatever I wanted and what I wanted to do was NOTHING.*

One thing I've always enjoyed about a lazy day is the lack of a deadline. It's not a true lazy day if you know in the back of your mind that you have to be showered and ready to go at 5pm to meet up with someone. Kind of kills the lazy buzz, if you catch my drift.

I had no such deadline today. I reclined on my sofa content in the knowledge that I could stay there as long as I liked.

My phone rang at 4pm, Mom's ring tone. I sighed. I knew she'd want to do something together. I had a choice; I could agree to her plans and kill my lazy day or I could politely decline her invitation and continue in my day of nothingness. I chose the second option.

For about 2 minutes. I called her back and said I'd be over as soon as I put on a bra, changed my clothes, and put my hair in a ponytail. Oh, and I warned her that I hadn't showered, had no makeup on, and looked disgraceful. She didn't care. I spent a lovely few hours with her and my beloved Grandma; helping to hang the new window valances, playing cards, and chatting. They left for the play and I came back home, glad I'd chosen to spend time with them after all.

So, why did I chose to go over in the first place? Easy, I was bored. It had been so long since I'd had a day to do nothing - I thought I'd rejoice in it, but I didn't. The inactivity bothered me. Even as I watched tv, I had to be doing something else, even if it was just eating (which is bad on several levels).

I'm a little disgruntled to learn I'm becoming one of those people that can't be lazy or that doesn't enjoy being lazy every so often. Does the ability to be lazy need to be practiced in order to be kept? Kind of like the ability to stay up too late? I haven't totally lost these abilities, I can do both if needed, but I'm losing the enjoyment of them. I'd rather go to bed at a sensible hour (11pm or even 10:30pm), wake up early to exercise (6:30 or 7am), and continue to be active and productive throughout the rest of the day, at least intermittently. You know, an hour of tv followed with a couple hours of cleaning/playing/work/etc. Repeat pattern.

I think I'll live with this new shift, though. In fact, I can see myself becoming quite happy with how things are turning out. There's such a sense of accomplishment when one looks back on the day and knows that fun was had, people were enjoyed, and tasks were removed from the To Do list.

Sigh. I must be growing up...or something. *smile*

* I did make one exception - I had to water my garden plants!

My Weekend

2009-06-29T16:44:00.002-06:00

This last weekend, I traveled up north to visit Adam.

And we got engaged.

Just kidding!

We really just decided to start dating again.

Just kidding, again!

No really, several people really struggled to understand why I'd go visit him if we're really just friends - we must be getting back together for me to go just to see him. Well, we are really just friends. Can't a friend go visit another friend? (That's a rhetorical question, I know the answer. It's "yes".)

Anyhoo, I had a great time. Adam's sister, Diana, let me stay with her and her family. I love them! I'm glad Adam and I are still friends so I can see them every so often. (There are other reasons, too, Adam!) His sister is so warm and welcoming and I've liked her from the first moment I met her - 4 years ago. Her husband is a quiet guy, so I didn't really get to know him, but he was really helpful Saturday - I'll explain later. Their kids are adorable. So well-behaved, polite, fun. Their third child, Ashley, was baptized on Saturday, so Adam's parents were also staying with Diana and her family. It was certainly a full house, but a fun full house. Everyone was so nice to me. I never once felt uncomfortable. In fact, I felt a part of the family the whole time I was there. I really appreciated it.

So here's a quick run-down of the weekend's activities, then I'm going to share some interesting moments that happened.

Friday: arrived around 7pm; toured Diana's home and was introduced to Joe and the kids; Adam's parents took him and me out to dinner - cute restaurant, delicious omelet!; played games with Diana, Adam's parents, and Adam's nephew Daniel; Adam and I watched Amelie - it was fantastic!; talked with Adam 'til 3am; went to bed and slept like the dead.

Saturday: was woken up at 8:30 by Addie, Adam's 12-year old niece in whose room I was sleeping, because she had forgotten her dress - she was so cute and polite and we had a nice conversation; woke up because I couldn't get back to sleep and got ready for the baptism; baptism went from 11am to noon - it was pretty standard except for the bizarre opening prayer; ate lunch with Adam at Kneaders - very tasty; Toys R Us for a present for Ashley (neice who was just baptized); tour of Adam's apartment; back to Diana's to change clothes; art museum - found a few paintings I'd actually buy if a) they had been for sale and b) I had the money set aside for such purchases; drove around looking at interesting homes (I LOVE doing that) and the Krishna temple; browsed an antiques shop/bookstore; ate dinner at Diana's; ran to the mall for a thank-you present to give to Diana and family; played games 'til 2am with Diana and their parents (they actually only made it to midnight); went to bed and slept like the dead.

Sunday: tried to wake up early to go for a walk but my body refused; finally got up and got ready then went to breakfast with Adam (who paid, grrr, I mean - thank you!); went back to Diana's and looked at a few of his family pictures; ate lunch with my host family; toured the garden; played games until time to leave; loaded up my car (which took awhile, see #4 below); said my goodbyes; drove home; other stuff unrelated to my trip; went to bed around midnight and slept like the dead.

Now for the interesting moments: (in no particular order)

1. Adam's dad: "So, Julie, when are you coming to Kanab to visit us?" It surprised me, quite frankly, so I stumbled a little bit with my answer - They know that Adam and I aren't dating, so why would they want me to visit them? was all I could think. I take it as a compliment, though. They must like me. I like them, too, and if it wouldn't cause assumptions to be made, would be happy to visit them. It was just funny and a little awkward at the time because it took me by surprise.

2. Adam's mom: "Buy a diamond!" When Adam and I were leaving to go to the mall, his mom shouted this from the dining room. Neither Adam or I heard her say it, but Diana told us about it later. Again, I take it as a compliment. When a mom likes you enough that she wants her son to marry you, that's probably one of the highest compliments you can get. Still funny, though.

3. Diana: "You better watch out, Julie, I think Daniel likes you." Daniel, if you recall from above, is Adam's nephew. His 28-year old nephew, in case you were thinking of some cute liittle 7-year old. This really took me by surprise. I'd only been in the guy's company for a few hours and had had no clues that he had taken a fancy to me. Her evidence was compelling, and funny, so maybe he did develop a little crush. Again, I'm flattered if it's true but am not interested.

4. Me: "I'll take it!" At the antique store, I stumbled across an old (though not antique) secretary hutch. The tag's price was too good to be true, so I assumed it was just for the hutch and not the drawers upon which it sat. I asked Adam if he thought I'd be able to fit both pieces in my car, and he said he thought I'd be able to. I asked the owner about the price, just to be sure, and was told it was for both pieces. Without a moment's hesitation, I said I'd buy it. I bought it, Adam's brother-in-law came in their surburban to take it to their house, then we had lots of fun figuring out how it would fit in my car. It didn't. Not really. With Joe's help, though, on Sunday we rigged it so that I was able to make it home with both pieces intact. Thanks Joe! Now they rest at my mom's house awaiting my brothers return to town this weekend. Then they (my brothers) will pack them up to my 3rd floor condo. My brothers don't know this plan yet, so please don't tell them. Maybe they'd decide not to come down afterall. *smile*

5. Addie: "Can you stay another night?" Adam found out that he didn't have to work today (Monday), so Addie asked if I'd stay longer. I really liked Addie. I liked all the kids, but I liked her the most, so I was touched that she wanted me to stay longer, even though it would've meant giving up her bed another night. It's fun to be liked.

6. Daniel: "I should probably stay here tonight in case Julie and Adam want to go back to our apartment." He said this to Diana. Again, Adam and I didn't hear it, Diana told us later. Don't ask me why he thought I'd go back to their apartment that night (Daniel and Adam share an apartment, in case you're a little slow on the uptake) or what he thought we'd be doing there. It's funny because I'm beginning to think Adam hasn't done good things with my reputation amongst his family. Four years ago, a distant relative of his came up to me at one of Adam's niece's wedding (again, don't picture a 7-year old) and asked if I was still living with Adam. Now this! I either scream "hussy" or he's not painting a flattering picture of me. *smile*

It really was an enjoyable weekend. The best part was getting to hang out with Adam. We do better as friends than we ever did as more-than-friends. In fact, he's become one of my best friends. He knows me better than most, accepts me with all my flaws, and can read me almost as well as my own family. I really love him like a brother-friend.

Thanks, Adam, for inviting me for a visit and for making it such a fun trip!

My Garden

2009-06-12T13:38:00.004-06:00

My brothers sometimes tell of the year one of them gave me a cactus for Christmas because all the other plants I'd ever tended had died. Surely, I couldn't kill a cactus.

I did.

Years ago, I had a roommate with a green thumb who decorated our tiny apartment with plants and flowers. She went on a one-week vacation to Hawaii, leaving me with detailed instructions on how to care for the plants and flowers - exactly how much water to give and how often, even singing suggestions!

By the end of the week, they were brown and wilting even though I followed her instructions to a tee.

A couple years ago, my boss's wife brought a plant to the office as an apology for a fight they had. My coworker and I knew we'd be the ones caring for the plant and neither of us were happy about it. She's about as good with plants as myself. So, we neglected it. For months. It sat on the lobby bookshelf becoming progressively uglier and uglier until it was a brown, wilted stalk with shriveled up leaves.

Then someone (probably my boss's wife) put it in my office. My office is in the kitchen (let's just leave it at that) and has a sink, so maybe she had watered the plant and forgot to put it back on the bookshelf. No matter the reason, the plant was in my office and there it stayed. For weeks I tried to ignore it, but I can't just sit there and watch a living thing slowly die, so I started putting a bit of water in it before leaving. Just an evening here, an evening there.

It started to get green. Little shoots started pushing up through the dirt. I knew it needed sunlight, but I worried that if I moved it back to the lobby, I'd neglect it again, so I left it in my office awhile longer. As it got bigger and greener and prettier, I started to feel a sense of pride at having resuscitated it. I finally felt comfortable moving it to the lobby and from there, getting daily doses of sunlight, the plant has really flourished. Even my coworker has gotten into keeping it healthy and will water it when I'm out of the office.

This last experience gave me a little confidence and I finally decided to do something I've wanted to do for a long time. I created a garden!

Even as a kid I didn't garden. My allergies were so bad growing up that time spent outdoors was filled with sneezing, watery and itchy eyes, and lots of complaining. So, while the rest of my family tended the garden, I cleaned the house. Hence, I have no knowledge of gardening.

My sister-in-law went with me to the local plant nursery because I didn't feel confident enough to pick out my own plants. I knew what I wanted, but wasn't sure how to get what I wanted. One thing I knew; I didn't want to grow anything from seeds - I wanted baby plants.

The next evening, I gathered all my supplies on to my beloved patio; plants, pots (one I've had for years thanks to my stepmother who gave me a pot of flowers one year - they died in a couple months and the pot has stood barren ever since), potting soil, Miracle Grow, watering can, scissors, and a spoon (for digging - it was the best I could come up with). I loved the feel of dirt beneath my nails (though afterward I scrubbed them spotless), the smell of earth, the flow of water from my watering can onto the freshly planted plants, and the well-being that came with doing something so...refreshing.

In the big pot, I planted one cherry tomato, one grape tomato, and one yellow sweet pepper. The middle pot contains cilantro (yummy!) and to its right are chives. I would have liked to plant more herbs, maybe parsley, rosemary, and dill, but they didn't have those herbs when we went. Maybe it's better to start off small anyway. I can always get more plants!

Now my beloved patio is even more special, a true bit of heaven-on-earth. I can't wait to start eating tomatoes and peppers from my garden and using fresh herbs picked right from my porch!

Sigh. Life is good.

Did You Know - Part III

2009-06-08T17:03:00.001-06:00

... My first boyfriend's name was Jose?
* we "dated" in 1st grade.

...I'm currently reading 4 books?
* Lisey's Story by Stephen King
* The Appeal by John Grisham
* Flashback by Nevada Barr
* Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey

...I think beards can be sexy?
* not the bushy ones, though.

...I'm addicted to the soundtrack of Notre Dame de Paris?
* thanks, Adam

...My current celebrity crush is Charles Kelley?
* singer for Lady Antebellum
* he has a wicked sexy beard
* ok, both guys in the band have beards, but I like him more

...Before him, my celebrity crush was Simon Baker?
* the Mentalist, CBS
* however, doesn't look good with a beard

...Little sleep + no food + heat/broken air conditioner = grumpy Julie?
* this sums up my latest work trip to Lake Powell

...My phone is pink?
* nothing more to add

...I like to go to movies by myself?
* Angels and Demons, June 6th

...Green is my current "it" color?
* it was red

...I talk too much sometimes?
* many of you know this first-hand

...I avoid touching public bathroom door handles like the plague?
* they give me the heebie geebies

...Last night I forgot to eat dinner?
* no wonder I had such strong snack cravings last night!

...I once lost my balance and fell on my bum while watching someone toss a coin?
* cjane, Montreal, 1999

...I pretend heights don't bother me?
* really, I have the urge to jump
* that bothers me

...I walk 4 miles a day?
* sometimes more, if I get in two walks

...I overuse the thumbs up sign?
* woohoo! *thumbs up*

...I once burned my tongue on a fork?
* my brother said I had a forked tongue
* thumbs up*

..."Want" is my least favorite word to sign?
* feels awkward

..."Like" is my favorite?
* it's fun, you should try it

...I'm thinking about getting back together with one of my exes?
* can you guess which one?

...This is the first "Did You Know" that contains no lies?
* thumbs up*

You can find Did You Know Part I here and Part II here.

The Spider and the Fly

2009-05-29T15:52:00.004-06:00

Close your eyes.

Picture a playground at an elementary school.

Now picture a huge, wide, gently-sloping, climbing net with the top end attached to the middle of the jungle gym and the other attached to poles and stopping just a few inches from the ground.

Got that?

Now imagine 20 or so giggly girls, about 8 or 9 years old, sitting as close to the top of the net as they can get and looking at the solitary boy, sitting at the bottom of the net, looking up at the girls.

I was one of those giggly girls, though not nearly as giggly or outgoing as I grew to be (I was actually a pretty quiet child, believe it or not). All these years later, I don't know how it started, but we ended up playing a version of the Spider and the Fly. The boy - I don't remember his name but can picture his face as if it had happened yesterday - was the Spider, the girls were the Flies. We'll call him John...because I like it as an alias.

The game boiled down to John choosing which girl he liked the most by eliminating the ones he didn't.

"The girl I like the most has blonde hair", he'd announce, and all the non-blondes had to leave the web. I was a natural blonde, fyi.

"The girl I like the most is not wearing a skirt", and those unfortunate girls with skirts left the web. I wore pants.

"The girl I like the most has freckles." Oh what a great time to have brown spots all over my face!

A few at a time, or sometimes one by one, John narrowed the field, finally leaving just two girls in his web. Unbelievably, I was one of them. Every time he made his declaration, I'd look at what I was wearing, check my hair for braids, color, bangs, etc, and generally make sure I could stay in the web.

I don't remember who was the other final Fly in the web with me, but I remember how we huddled close together at the top of the net...ahem...I mean, web... and nervously giggled while we waited for John's final pronouncement.

Maybe that's what the final two Miss America (or American Idol or ANTM) contestants feel like as they wait to hear who has won. Huh.

I knew I wouldn't be the Chosen One. I was taller than all the girls my age and most of the boys, an awkward situation. And yet, I didn't stick out but tended to settle nicely into the background. Sometimes I wondered if anyone would ever remember me because I was just average, nothing remarkable, not too quiet/smart/funny/troublesome/etc. I had friends but I wasn't one of the girls that boys noticed...I didn't realize at the time that most boys don't notice girls that way at that age.

John either took his time deciding which of us he liked most or he was nervous to finally make his choice irrevocably known to the rest of the grade (by this time, our game had garnered a lot of attention from non-playing girls and boys) but either way, it seemed like an eternity before he finally made his last pick.

"The girl I like the most is wearing a butterfly barrette."

Can you believe that to this day I remember that final sentence? Okay, I can't. All I remember is the shock and pleasure at realizing that I was the girl he liked most. He had chosen me! The loser...I mean, non-winner...whatever...left the web, and John climbed up to where I sat in amazement. We ended up spending the rest of recess sitting on the net together, holding hands, and talking.

Or something like that. I don't really remember what happened afterward. Quite honestly, the most powerful memory I have of this event is the feeling of being liked the most, of being picked from a bevy of cute, nice girls as the most cute and nice. I was the Fly the Spider wanted to catch!

More than 20 years later, this memory still makes me smile. It was the first time I realized that a boy could find me attractive. It boosted my confidence, helped me out of my shell a bit, and well, set the foundation for me becoming a bit of a flirt (reformed, currently).

Whenever I start to get bummed that there doesn't seem to be a Spider who likes me most, I try to remember that Spiders have different tastes and that somewhere out there is a Spider who likes curvy, blue-eyed, freckled, (currently) blonde Flies. 'Til our paths meet, I guess I'll just sit in this comfy web and enjoy the view.

Better Hearing Month

2009-05-06T16:02:00.000-06:00

I'm so glad it's Wednesday afternoon - late afternoon - almost time to go home!

May is National Better Hearing Month, and to celebrate, my work had an Open House yesterday and today. We offered free hearing screenings, food, prizes, and a chance to see the inside of your ears. Aren't you sad that you missed it???

The whole thing was my idea, and for the past few weeks I've been busy getting everything organized. I really wanted to give the Open House a shot at success, so I contacted my friend at the radio station and set up a remote broadcast at our office for yesterday afternoon from 11am to 2pm. My boss wasn't thrilled; partly because he hates spending money on marketing and partly because he didn't want to talk on the radio. We got a really good deal on the broadcast, though, and I told him he'd only have to talk once since we had only three times to talk (once an hour) and we'd take turns. We've never advertised on the radio before, so it was definitely a gamble, a risk that I prayed would pay off.

The first time to talk on the radio came and both my boss and coworker were busy, so John*, the DJ, had me go out to the van to talk about what was going on, what we were doing, etc. Frankly, I was nervous. I'd never talked on the radio before and am pretty good at making myself sound foolish - not a good combination! John and I chatted while the last song played and I grilled him about what was going to happen; would he be asking me questions, how long should I make my answers, how would I know when to shut up, etc. He laughed and said I'd do fine.

Did I mention that John was H-O-T? Oh baby.

The song ended and John introduced where he was and asked me my name. I replied, tempted for half a milli-second to lie, I don't know why. See what I mean about my propensity for being silly? He asked me questions about the Open House and our office, and I answered fairly intelligently. I made him laugh a couple times - I couldn't control myself! - but overall I felt really good about how well I did. I was pleased that I'd gotten my turn over with and could relax the rest of the time.

My boss talked next and hated it. He sounded a little funny, frankly. You could tell he was nervous. Poor guy. Teehee.

The third time, my coworker was talking to her son and daughter-in-law, so John pulled me out to talk again. I was sad that my coworker wouldn't get the chance, but she grinned an evil grin that said, Haha, I don't have to do it! I worried about repeating myself, but John said it is good to say things over and over again. This time, I was a little sillier AND I talked a tad too much so we had to hurry to end in time AND we still got cut off at the very end. I apologized but John said it happens a lot. He told me I have a great radio voice and that if I ever want to quit my job I could do well in the radio business. I thanked him, and then floated back to the office - compliments do that to me. Especially from hot guys.

Turns out, we got more than three opportunities to talk on the radio. The fourth time, my coworker ended up getting to do it. She was fabulous! She is the queen of one-liners and sounded like a natural. The last hour, I got to talk two more times, making my grand total a whopping 4 times! I enjoyed it a lot, even though I think I sounded like a doofus, albeit a friendly, cheerful doofus! I'm thrilled that we got to broadcast 6 times instead of just 3 - more bang for our buck. Woohoo!

I felt a little like a celebrity; a small-time celebrity with less than 1 minute of "fame", but a celebrity nonetheless. *smile* Friends and family called and texted to tell me they'd heard me on the radio. When I introduced myself to people coming in for the Open House, they'd smile and say they'd heard me talk on the radio. We had a great turn-out and most of the people said they came because they heard about it on the radio. My boss finally admitted at the end of the day that using the radio had been a good idea afterall. Vindicated.

Okay, let's talk about John. He's married but has only been so for a few months. He dated his now-wife for a few months before that, so before that he was single! A single, attractive, age-appropriate guy had been living in my area for years and I never met him! Tragic, absolutely tragic. How many others like him (except still single) are out there that I'm not meeting? John and I discussed the fact that I'm still single and that he remained single for so long. He said we could have dated and had a lot of fun, though, he said, he's probably "too wild" for me since I'm Mormon. We could have dated!!! Not that we necessarily would have ended up together, but it would have been nice to see, and it was sweet of him to imply that he could have been interested in dating me. And really, the frustration I feel isn't because I "lost my chance with him", because frankly there never was a chance; the true frustration is due to not knowing any guys in my area I could be interested in but suspecting that some might exist and I just don't know it. Does that make sense? Sigh. I asked John where all the single guys over 30 hang out - because it would be helpful to find out - he laughed and said he has no idea. You're a ton of help, I joked. A little insider information could have been very useful.

So, I ask myself, at one point do I stop relying on "timing" and "Fate/Divine Intervention" and start actively trying to meet guys who I'd be interesting in dating? And, how does one go about actively meeting local guys; they don't come into my office (my ex doesn't count), I don't meet them at church, and I don't go to school or to bars. What's a girl to do?

Anyhoo, this post has taken an interesting turn, so I'm going to return to the topic on hand. The Open House was more successful than any of our previous Better Hearing Month ideas and I'm proud of how well we pulled it off. It's such a relief that it's almost over - one more hour - and that there was a steady stream of people when the radio station was here. Seriously, that was my biggest worry - that John would show up and think we were big losers because no one came to our Open House.

It was so successful that we're planning on doing it again next year. A few things we learned this time:

1. I bought too much food. I didn't want to run out, but I could have fed a third-world country with all the stuff I bought.

2. One day is better than two. Not that people haven't shown up today, but not enough to make it necessary to have the open house two days.

3. The radio brought in people. Woohoo!

I wonder if I'll be around next year. I guess we'll see! :)

* Name has been changed because I didn't ask him if I could blog about him. :)

Me, Lately

2009-04-13T16:33:00.001-06:00

A Possibility
Last week, our accountant's wife, Holly, asked me if I would be interested in taking on a part-time job. One of their neighbors needs someone to do some simple bookkeeping and asked if she could recommend anyone. Holly thought of me. I was flattered. She said all they need is someone to send out bills once a month and do payroll for 8 employees twice a month. Easy! They'd provide me with a computer and everything I'd need so I could do it out of my house. If this works out, there's no way I'm getting another roommate once Liz moves out! What I'll make from this job would be quite a bit more than what I get in rent. I'd be able to save for my France trip in no time and then start working on some of my other financial goals. Holly said she'll let these people know that I'm be willing to do it. That's where it stands currently, so I don't know yet if it's going to happen. I'm keeping my fingers crossed, though!

A Change
I highlighted my hair Friday afternoon. It was my reward for losing 75 lbs. Woohoo! When I chose this as a reward, I started thinking about how long it's been since I've gone lighter and realized it's been awhile! Funny, because I used to change my hair color every few months - to fit the season. Anyway, here's me before I had my hair done:

My smile is weird. Oh well.

I had planned on taking a picture with all the tin foil in my hair, but I forgot. Here's the after:

Why is it that I always look high when I take pictures of myself? It's the eyes. They look stoned or something. I wasn't, by the way, it just looks like I was. Anyway, it's fun to have a change, though I'm still getting used to it. I mean, I totally love my new look, but I still think of myself as having darker hair. I forget that my hair is different, so when I see myself in the mirror, I get a little surprise. I like surprises!

A Resurrection
In the above photo (the after shot), please note the dress I'm wearing (what little you can see). My mom bought me that dress as a birthday present in May 2000 - right after I came home from Montreal. Right now, I'm about 20 lbs heavier than when she bought it for me but about 25 lbs lighter than when I last wore it - on my cruise in August 2003. It was tight then; I couldn't even wear the matching jacket, I wore a white sweater instead. When I got home from the cruise, I banished the dress to the farthest part of my closet and vowed not to wear it until I had lost some weight. A couple years later, I removed it from my closet and almost donated it to the thrift store because I still couldn't wear it. It was in almost perfect condition, though, so I stuffed it in a box and have held on to it for that reason ever since. I recently found it while doing some Spring cleaning, and yesterday I decided to try it on since I didn't have anything I wanted to wear for Easter. It fit perfectly! I almost cried.

A Compliment
Will I ever get tired of guys being amazed that I drive Bertha and the Beast? This morning, I picked the trailer up from the repair shop (the leaky ceiling has been fixed!), and the guys that work at the shop gathered around to show me all they'd done. When it was time for me to head out, they all said how impressed they are that I can handle such a big truck and trailer. One guy even did the "We're not worthy" bow a few times. It was pretty funny. A little while later, while at a truck stop to gas up, a trucker man asked, "Baby, you drive that big 'ol monsta?" When I said yes, he patted me on the shoulder and said it's a beautiful thing to see a woman driving a big truck.

I know that I should be a little insulted on behalf of my sex because men are SO astonished that a woman can do this, but really, I'm tickled. Probably because I'm still pretty surprised that I can do it and that I love doing it. It's a little strange to think that last April I practiced driving (usually backing up) every morning, Monday through Saturday, all month long. It took me forever to understand how to drive that truck and trailer - it certainly didn't come naturally! So, I'll happily accept the compliments that guys give me for being able to do it.

Upcoming Change and Something to Decide

2009-04-07T16:35:00.001-06:00

Last night, my roommates told me they're moving out at the end of the month.

It wasn't a huge surprise - a few weeks ago, I asked Liz what her plans were following graduation. She informed me that she and Jeff had discussed her moving back in with her parents in order for them to save money for their wedding next April. They hadn't decided when she'd move out and I didn't press for an answer.

Once I got passed the initial shock of having other people in my living space (especially since I had only wanted ONE roommate but got TWO), I really enjoyed having Liz and Jeff as roommates. It was good to have someone to come home to, to discuss my day with, to laugh with, etc. They knew more about what was going on in my life than almost anyone else (besides Adam). And, I'll forever love Jeff for always taking out the trash for us. I'll love any man who will do that! :)

I'm ready to live alone again, though. I like leaving and coming back to the same house I left. I'm pretty persnickety about my kitchen; I like things just so. And, I have a list of kitchen items that I refuse to allow into the dishwasher, and they keep ending up in there despite my repeated pleas. I can't handle a messy kitchen; in all the other rooms I can handle a bit of clutter, but not the kitchen. It needs to be clean. The sink should be clean and food-free, the counters shouldn't be sticky, and the floor should be swept regularly (ideally each evening after everyone has finished cooking).

I'm getting off-topic, I apologize. Like I said, I have a thing about my kitchen.

Which leads to the decision I need to make: whether or not to get a roommate after Liz and Jeff move out.

There are two schools of thought regarding this decision. The first says, why not? It's free money! I do nothing but share my space, and in return, I get money. Good deal, no? The second says, you're too big a fussbudget, Julie, and should live alone until some insane man falls in love with you and wants to marry you.

I agree with both.

I'm going to France next year, so having an additional source of income would come in handy. I've saved all the rent money from Liz and Jeff, and it has really added up to a goodly amount! I ask myself, why not get a roommate just for the the next school year - nine measly little months? That would be a few thousand dollars that can go towards my France trip. I could be a little more particular about what roommate I get and make darn sure that they know what doesn't go into the dishwasher EVER and that they will be charged extra if they have someone over all the time (I don't think I'd mind having an additional roommate if I was getting paid for it).

On the other hand, with a little thought and diligence, I can save enough money for France without having rent money coming in. And I LOVE having my place to myself. I could turn Liz's room into a small den; putting all my bookshelves in there with a big comfy chair. That would be awesome! And, I could be as kitchen-obsessed as I want without bugging anyone else.

Here's what I bet ends up happening: I'll advertise for a roommate then be really particular about whom I choose. If no one meets my standards, then I won't feel bad about not having one. If an awesome one comes along, I won't feel too bad about sharing my beloved condo.

I'm so very, very thankful that I have a choice in this matter and don't have to have a roommate in order to pay my mortgage. That would be stressful.

I'll keep you updated, of course!

Resolutions - Part 2

2009-03-30T16:50:00.000-06:00

To refresh your memory, this year, instead of having goals or resolutions for the entire 12 months, I decided to set goals for a quarter at a time. Let's discuss how I did.

1st Quarter Goals
1. Attend church every week I'm in town. I actually did fairly well on this one. I only missed church three times; one time I was sick and one time I had a guest visiting. I missed it a few more times due to traveling but those don't count, remember.

2. Exercise every day. I did really well on this one. Once I felt recovered enough from my surgery, I exercised in some way or another almost every day this quarter. I did miss a few days, naturally; a couple days when I was sick a couple weeks ago, a couple days last weekend while in Vegas with family (though I did get some physical activity moving boxes/furniture and walking the Strip/casino), and a few times due to poor planning on my part. All in all, though, I'm very pleased.

3. Read 3 Shakespeare plays. This one has to be far and away the easiest goal but I didn't accomplish it at all. Not a single play read. Good grief. I may need to rethink this goal as it obviously isn't important enough for me to even attempt!

4. Invite friends to my house at least once a month. I did ok with this goal. January I invited people over three times, once in February, and none in March. Not that there weren't people at my house in March, I just didn't expressly invite them over for the intents and purposes of this goal.

Now, on to my goals for the next quarter. For the past few days, I've been thinking about what I'd like to change in my life or what I'd like to focus on more. My 2nd quarter goals reflect my thoughts.

2nd Quarter Goals
1. Go to at least two meetings of church every week I'm in town. Although last quarter I did fairly well with going to church every week I was in town, I never stayed after the first meeting. I have always enjoyed the second meeting (Sunday School), so it should be fairly easy to stay at church a little longer. Cross your fingers.

2. Save $300 a month. (Not including income from renters.) I've never made an actual goal to save any certain allotment of money every month - I just stick excess into my savings account sort of haphazardly. As warmer weather gets closer, I start dreaming of trips to nearby national parks and am sure I'll find other ways to spend more money, so I need to have a savings plan in place in order to budget accordingly.

3. Play tennis and swim once a week (each). I'll still walk and ride my bike, but I want to add some variety to my exercise routine. I would love to have a designated tennis night and play every week like we have in past years! It may be a little cold to start right away, but once the weather is consistently warmer, I'd love to start playing again. Anyone interested in joining me??? And, I love swimming. It feels so good to be in the water, working my entire body at the same time. I hate the hassle of getting in and out of the pool, though, so I'm only going to plan on going once a week instead of more often (I'd go every day if a. I could walk to the pool in 10 minutes or less and b. it wasn't such a pain to change clothes, shower, swim, shower, change clothes). Now I need to go home and find my swimming suit - I haven't seen it since I moved last June!

4. Read or listen to French every day. I really want to be prepared when I go to France next year - I know my vocabulary is totally suffering from neglect. Adam gave me some French music to listen to (Notre Dame de Paris - thanks, Adam!) and I've purchased 5 books in French; two are full of short stories, one is a book of fairy tales, one is a sci-fi/fantasy novel, and the last is a classic: Le Petit Prince - I'm going to start it first because it's pretty famous and I've never read it. I'm betting that having a reason to do it (being able to converse in French while in France) helps me work harder at this goal than last quarter's Shakespeare goal (*moment of silence for that goal*).

Whenever I set resolutions/goals, I try to pick things designed to improve my mind, body, heart, and spirit. Since this quarter I sort of combined body and heart in one goal (tennis = physical activity and social interaction), I added a fiscal goal into the mix. It's my list, so I pretty much get to do whatever I want with it. Teehee.

Spring Is Here!

2009-03-20T16:44:00.000-06:00

Things I Like About Spring: (in no particular order, despite the numbers used)

1. Crushes. What is it about Spring that makes our thoughts turn to Romance? I don't know, and it doesn't really matter, I guess. I just enjoy having Spring crushes! My current crush developed this week: the new Fed Ex driver. He's cute, he's friendly, and he has a nice smile. I don't know his name. It doesn't matter - it's just a crush!

2. Flowers. I went for a walk earlier this week and noticed flowers beginning to sprout in my old roommate's yard. So exciting! Tulips, daisies, and daffodils are some of my favorite flowers (though I'm a sucker for just about any variety) and they are quintessentially SPRING. It's almost time for me to buy myself more flowers and I can't wait. I hope Albertson's has tulips when I lose two more pounds!

3. Green. This morning, sitting on my porch for a few moments before heading to work, I noticed that there are several trees in view that are beginning to get the slightest touches of green on their branches. Woohoo! I love my view year-round, but my favorite is when all the leaves are adorned with green leaves. I may be getting addicted to my porch.

4. Daylight. A lot of people complain when Daylight Savings starts. Yeah, I didn't love waking up an hour early on March 8th, especially since I had to wake up at 6:15 (which would have been 5:15 the day before). However, one morning of inconvenience (or a few mornings if you're one of those people who have to take a little time to adjust) is nothing compared to the extra daylight we get! I can now go for a good long walk after work - that is priceless in my book.

5. Warmth. Lately, heaven-on-earth = sitting on my porch basking in the warmth of the sun on a quiet weekend afternoon. There's just a hint of warmth on my face that managed to break through the chill. It's lovely. I love that my heating bill goes down this time of year because I'm being heated naturally by the sun. I've even cracked my bedroom windows open a couple times because my room gets so warm! Warmth and a slight breeze at the same time! Nice.

6. Spring Cleaning. There's a reason this phrase was coined and became so common - it just feels right to clean extensively this time of year. Maybe the increased sunlight sheds light on things that need cleaning. Or maybe we want our homes to smell as nice as the outdoors. Who knows. No matter the reason, that feeling of wanting to clean deeper is essential to my home staying in good form. That said, this year it may not be me that does the deep, deep cleaning. I'm thinking of hiring someone to do it. Yes, it's lazy, but I don't have kids that I can make clean the stuff I want cleaned but don't want to clean (i.e., the window sills, behind the kitchen appliances, the door frames, the floor boards, above the cupboards, inside the stove, etc.). I justify it by saying it's my little way of helping out the local economy. Teehee.

7. Softball. I'm not a huge fan of baseball on tv, but I love watching softball or baseball live. I'm lucky enough to live within walking distance of the local softball park, and I really enjoy walking over to watch a game or two a couple times a week once softball season starts. This year I actually know people who will be playing (my roommate Jeff and maybe one of my brothers) which will be neat, though it's still fun even when I don't.

8. Hope, Energy, Purpose. Maybe it's the new-ness of Spring, things coming back to life, that gives me a renewed sense of these three. I feel like I can throw off the things that are holding me back and become a newer, better me. Spring is a perfect time for me to make plans and goals. In fact, next month I'll be posting my 2nd quarter goals and I've been thinking of what they'll be.

Happy Spring!!

What a Weekend!

2009-03-16T11:04:00.004-06:00

I had a delightful weekend!

And, quite frankly, I deserved it.

Going into the weekend, it had been 12 days since I'd had a day off and I'd been getting progressively more ill every day until I reached the pinnacle of feeling awful Friday morning. I took Friday off of work, spent the day with a fever (until I remembered that I have Tylenol, which claims - truthfully, it turned out - to reduce fevers), trying to cough up my insides, and generally wanting to die and put myself out of my misery. Yes, I'm a bit of a baby when I'm sick. Being ill led to missing a friend's party Thursday night and going to a movie Friday night with another friend.

Saturday morning, I awoke from a Nyquil-induced slumber feeling better than I had in days. I still couldn't breath normally and still coughed every few minutes, but I had more energy, I didn't ache everywhere, and the fever was gone. I opened all the blinds in my house, letting the Spring sun burst in. The light invigorated me even more, so I cleaned.

I love cleaning in the Spring. Something about new beginnings, I guess. I cleaned my bathroom, my bedroom, and my kitchen. And when I say cleaned, I mean cleaned! I even washed the inside of my dishwasher - you know, the parts that get gucked up somehow like the rim around the dishwasher door. Yeah, it was kind of weird, but it felt great to clean! I vacuumed and dusted, things I really dislike doing, and even contemplated tidying my spare bedroom. Didn't happen - I wasn't that crazy!

I finished in time to have a quick chat with Cassie, who had accidentally called me earlier. I didn't realize it had been an accidental call, so I called her back. I then showered and got ready for the day. It was still early, so I sat on my porch and read. It was a moment of heaven on earth.

A short time later, Adam came for a visit. He was on his way to his parents' home for the weekend and asked if he could come by for a little while. Of course, I said yes. We talked for a bit, then he showed me Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog. It was funny and enjoyable and a little surprising. I loved it! We talked some more then he said goodbye and I waved him down the stairs.

Alyson returned from Las Vegas shortly after Adam left. We decided to go out for dinner - I had only eaten meagerly throughout the day - and chose The Garden House. She had never been, though we have tried to eat there several times. The soup was divine, like usual, as was the brownie sundae that we shared. After dinner, we picked up my mom and drove out to my brother's house for games. It was a really nice evening.

Aly and I got back to my home fairly early but offset this by staying up 'til 3am watching multiple episodes of Iron Chef America and talking. Staying up this late while recovering from a nasty cold wasn't the best of ideas, but it was fun nonetheless. I woke up late Sunday morning feeling slighly under the weather, but not horrible. We talked some more then decided we were both really hungry and so probably should remedy that a.s.a.p. by going out for breakfast. IHOP was our chosen destination, and I picked a very delicious avocado, bacon, and cheese omlette. Afterwards, we talked some more at my home, sometimes enjoying the sunshine from my porch, but mostly from my living room because it was quite windy as well as sunny. Alyson eventually left, and I was sad to see her go; it had been a fun visit.

Between her departure and my roommates' arrival, I read, napped, watched a little TV, and sometimes just sat on my porch and watched the world around me. I love lazy Sunday afternoons and I LOVE that the days stay light longer now. As the sun started to set, I went inside and rode my bike for the first time since Wednesday night. It felt great to get my legs pumping again. While riding, a good friend called. We've been playing phone tag for weeks, so I was thrilled that I was available to chat. I finished my ride as we talked then went back to my beloved porch for the duration of the phone call. It was great to sit there and watch the stars slowly appear as I caught up with my friend. I stayed out there after the call ended and read until bedtime.

This weekend rejuvenated my body, my mind, and my soul. I cleaned, visited with family and friends, and had time to ponder, read, and relax. Basically, it was the perfect mix, and I needed it.

Thank heavens for weekends like that!

Mystery Gift Game

2009-03-10T11:36:00.004-06:00

My sister-in-law, Rachel, posted this on their blog, and I thought it was a fun idea. Plus, I like getting mystery gifts. Well...I've never been given a mystery gift, but the premise sounds fun. AND, this year, my goal is to give all home-made gifts for Christmas, so this will give me some practice. Here are the rules:

The first three people to respond to this post will get something made by me! My choice. For you.This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:

1- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
2- What I create will be just for you.
3- It'll be done this year.
4- You have no clue what it's going to be.
5- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch is that you must repost this on your blog and offer the same to the first 3 people who do the same on your blog.The first 3 people to do so and leave a comment telling me they did win a FAB-U-LOUS homemade gift by me! Oh, and be sure to post a picture of what you win when you get it!
Who's in?

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

2009-03-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

Compared to 20 years ago (or so), I am definitely better at:
1. Hitting a baseball. One Spring back in middle school, Dad took me to a softball field and we spent the day working on my softball skills. He patiently tried to teach me to bat, throw, and pitch (you must admit, pitching is different that throwing). I'm sad to say I failed to learn how to successfully perform any of them; all I could do was catch and run and could do neither very well.

This past weekend, my family celebrated the Spring-like weather by playing outside a lot. Sunday afternoon, we went to the park and hit baseballs. Nothing formal; one batter, one pitcher, and everyone else fielded balls 'til it was time for them to either pitch or bat. Mostly my oldest brother pitched, but we spelled him every so often. Turns out, I'm still horrible at throwing a ball - no aim or distance. I can hit that darn ball, though! Finally! Almost every pitch - even some bad ones - my bat made contact with the ball enough to propel it forward (in other words, decent hits, not foul balls). Some of those hits had quite a bit of mustard on them and went a ways out. Why couldn't I have caught on in middle school when I was unbelievably asked to join the softball team. I struck out every time at bat - yeah, I ended up warming the bench a lot. Why now? Why can I hit a ball now? Weird.

Compared to 20 years ago (or so), I am definitely worse at:
1. Articulate Speech. Part of the problem could be attributed to the slight lisp created by my new teeth, but I'm afraid that isn't the main problem. I'm talking about using words and/or phrases incorrectly and often messing up well-known, albeit sometimes trite, sayings. More than a decade of fairly voracious reading has increased my vocabulary, introduced me to a variety of pithy phrases, and pretty much hampered my ability to speak coherently. You see, I have a slow brain. The more options it has from which to choose, the longer it takes to decide which option would sound best for that situation/sentence/sentiment/etc. While Ms. Brain sorts through the racks of Synonyms, Pithy Statements, and Really Big, Intelligent-Sounding Words & Phrases, my mouth (who is quicker than my brain) sees something shiny and interesting and spits it out even though it's totally inane and incorrect. Like when I would like to say a word meaning aware of one's surroundings or situation, the word that escapes my mouth is "succinct" instead of a better word like "conscientious". It's not Ms. Brain's fault, she would never have chosen that word! Mouth is to blame. Now, you'll hopefully understand when I mix metaphors, misquote famous sayings, and basically manhandle the English language in general.

2. Dream Impractical Dreams. Ah, the dreams of my youth! Nothing was off-limits or undo-able. The man of my dreams awaited for the perfect time to enter my life, sweep me off my feet, and treat me like a queen for the rest of my days. 'Til that time, I'd travel all over the world - explore the pyramids, eat bread and cheese in Paris, climb the Great Wall of China - really experience what the world had to offer. I'd live in big cities in tiny, but ultra-cool apartments. I could do and be anything. Now, the dream closest to my heart is to be mostly out of debt. A sensible, uber-practical dream that will be very nice when it happens. And, uber-boring! Not bad, just kind of sad. I enjoy being an adult and am okay accepting the accompanying (the first word I wanted to write was "recumbent" - see what I mean?) responsibilities. I wish I had the courage to still Dream Big.

At some point, I discovered that unfulfilled dreams => disappointment => heart pain => no fun at all! Hope slowly took a seat against the gymnasium wall, silently praying that someday I'd have the courage to walk across the room and ask it for a dance. Not that Practical Dreams don't deserve their space on the dance floor; in fact, some of them should never leave it. They are important. It's just that I'm finally in a position to make some Big Dreams come to pass, and, baby, it's time to make room for the wild girls! Especially when Bon Jovi's "It's My Life" comes on! Especially then!

So, Big Dream #1: I'm going to France. Come hell or high water. Alone or with anyone that wants to go with me. I'm going no matter what. Next year! Mark it on your calendar.

Late V-Day Post

2009-02-19T15:51:00.001-07:00

Who needs a boyfriend to enjoy Valentines Day? Not me!

I had a pretty nice, albeit lazy and/or relaxing, Valentines Day. Last Friday (the 13th - oooh!), I drove north to spend the weekend with my cousins for one of our cousins weekends. We stayed up too late, of course, finally getting to sleep around 5am. We took our time getting up and getting ready so didn't leave Aly's house 'til around 4pm - not bad, considering. We stopped at Kohl's to do some shopping. I bought three necklaces; they were on sale so I got three for the price I had planned on spending for one! Aly bought sunglasses and Cassie bought a pair of earrings and a few rings. We had decided to go low-budget for this weekend, so we went grocery shopping and bought items for two quick yet delicious meals. It was a good idea, because we saved money, ate good food that was a lot better for us, and had fun cooking together. We made herbed chicken with feta cheese and roma tomatoes for Saturday night and chicken, spinach, and cheese pizza for Sunday's lunch. Mmmm. They were good. We spent the evening watching romantic movies - Memoirs of a Geisha (an odd romance, but still a romance) and Only You (cheesy, but fun). It was nice hanging out with the girls; talking, laughing, sharing secrets, solving the world's problems, bonding.

When I arrived home Sunday evening, I discovered this surprise left for me by my roommates:

The big heart reads "Happy Valentines Day!". Isn't it sweet? They had thought about putting hearts all over the front door (this is my bedroom door), but were afraid that the weather wouldn't be kind to the hearts. They didn't want me to know who had done it, but since whoever had done it had access to my bedroom door, I knew it was them. They are so great!

Monday night, I went to my Dad's house for a little while. When my parents were married, he used to give me a single flower every year for Valentines Day. This year, he restarted the tradition and threw in a few other presents for fun. He gave me a red rose, a teddy bear, and a movie:

(Yeah, yeah, I know it's not a quality picture. I should have closed the blinds but I didn't. Sorry!)

My step-sister was there with her son - he's a cutie! It was good to sit and visit with my dad and everyone. My dad is different from how he was a few years ago; he's more like the man I remember as my dad while growing up. I can tell that he's happy and that makes me happy. My little sister is growing up to be a smart, beautiful, young lady. We have a lot in common and are both BIG daddy's girls. She loaned me a book that I'm really enjoying. In fact, all the books she has loaned me have been fabulous (if you haven't read Fablehaven, try it! The second and third books in the series are even better than the first).

After Dad's, I went to my brother's house because his kids had valentines to give me. Brooke gave me a tweetie bird valentine and Porter's was a snake skin valentine. We played a couple games on their Wii then played one of my favorite games, Foul Play, which I have nicknamed Chickens and Wolves. It's such a simple game, but I love it! Brooke even let me have a piece of chocolate. She told her mom before I came that I can't have food any more so they'd better put away all the sweets. We can't convince her that that rule was only for the 10 days before my surgery and I can now eat food again. She's such a nurturer, it's cute!

All in all, it was a good Valentines - day and weekend!

Green Shirt, Purple Eye Shadow, Orange Necklace

2009-02-18T16:24:00.006-07:00

I would never have worn a combination like that when I was in high school. I was a very matchy-matchy girl.

I couldn't wear a brown belt with black shoes or a gold bracelet with a silver necklace. Oh wait, I still can't do either of those! Ahem. Moving on.

Back then, if I wore a green shirt, I'd be wearing green earrings (I didn't wear necklaces back then), and green eye shadow (how embarrassing!). Or at the very least, a neutral eye shadow and diamond earrings. Must...not...mix...colors.

I thank my sister-in-law for showing me that you can wear jewelry that doesn't "match" what you're wearing. She would wear a green necklace with a pink shirt or a orange necklace with a blue dress, and it would look wonderful. So, I started to play around.

Playing around is fun!

She also convinced me to try purple eye shadow, saying it would bring out the blue in my eyes. From the comments I get on my eyes, I don't think the blue needs any help, but I eventually gave in, deciding that playing around with my makeup might be as fun as playing around with my jewelry...and it is!

Someday, I may look back on pictures of myself and cringe at the green shirt, orange necklace, and purple eye shadow combination, but until that day, I'm going to continue to mix it up. And, quite honestly, I'm hoping I'll be cringing at my current weight because I'll be so much skinnier then and won't even notice my color combinations!

What a silly topic.

I'm in such an incredibly good mood today and part of that is because I feel pretty. I love this green shirt - it's taken the place of my favorite, but almost-too-big, blue shirt. And the purple really does make my eyes look more blue (blue-er???). And, what can I say? I totally ♥ this orange necklace - it's one of my rewards for losing 50 lbs.

Sigh. It's a good day.

I hope you're having a good day, too!