Finally...Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

Please don't throw this post in my face if I change my mind, but I'm pretty sure that I've finally made some decisions about my life!

The first decision is pretty insignificant, but I'm gonna mention it anyway. I've decided to learn to play the guitar. One of my New Year's Resolutions (a post I started but never finished, so finally deleted) is to learn to play an instrument. My mom protested that I already know how to play one (three actually; piano-barely, clarinet, and tenor sax) and that my clarinet currently resides in our garage. I countered that this time I don't want to play anything that goes anywhere near my mouth. I'd LOVE to learn to play the piano better, but I don't have a piano handy, so I had to think of some other options. I narrowed it down to three; the cello, the violin, and the guitar. I x'ed the cello because it was too pricey for something I'm not positive I'll stick with, I vetoed the guitar because so many people either play or are learning to play the guitar, and I hesitated to pick the violin because it sounds horrible when one is learning to play it. So, I finally settled on the guitar. It shouldn't matter if everyone else is playing it, I want to learn to play it because I want to be able to play it. So, this week I'm gonna go to the music store to buy one and sign up for lessons. Wish me luck!

Decision number two is a little more significant, but a little silly, too. I've finally settled on a ward to attend. Last year I started attending a family ward, the Ashdown Forest ward, and I really liked it, a lot! When I moved back home, I moved out of that ward's boundaries. My mom wanted me to go to church with her, but I really didn't want to (please don't ask me to explain why not). My other option was the single's ward. That didn't sound very nice, either, so for awhile (longer than it should have been) I didn't know which ward I wanted to attend. Well, recently I finally picked the single's ward. Today I went to all three meetings (for the first time) and it was okay. Maybe it won't be as bad as I feared. Wish me luck!

Finally, the decision of decisions... (drum roll, please)... I'm staying here. At least, that's the plan right now; it all might change if I get accepted into the U or UNLV. Anyhoo, I've looked into the MBA program here and the classes are all in the evenings, so I can still work full-time at my job. It's a good compromise between the two choices I had; I can stay at my job and still get a graduate degree. I'm not saying I'll stay here forever, but at least for a couple more years. Wish me luck!

I Must Have Been A Good Girl This Year...

...Because I'm actually going to get something off of my silly Christmas Wish List!

Due to a very generous Christmas present/year-end bonus from my boss, I have some extra money. (He gave me a large handbag full of one-dollar bills - it was very surprising and a lot of fun!) I have decided to spend most of the money in a responsible fashion (to pay off a little chunk of my dental bill), but 1/3 of it is going to go towards a VACATION!

I am so excited! My last true vacation was August of 2004 when I spent a week in Portland. The year before that I went on a cruise to western Mexico. The year before that I lived in New York and took several trips into Manhattan, one trip to Palmyra, and a trip to Washington D.C. This past summer and the summer of 2005 I only took little trips to Bryce Canyon that only lasted a day. Both those summers I took off three days for the Shakespearean festival, but that doesn't really count as a vacation. No, I need a honest-to-heavens vacation and I'm gonna get it.

I haven't done a lot of research yet (Christmas was just a few days ago, afterall), but I'm definitely leaning towards taking another cruise. Cruises are nice for several reasons; you pay for the cruise and don't have to worry about meals or lodging. Entertainment is provided on the ship and I can choose whether or not to pay for any of the cruise-sponsored port activities. Most importantly, I left my last cruise feeling truly refreshed and relaxed, unlike other vacations that made me feel more tired after the trip than before it.

In case you decide you'd like to join me on my cruise, here's what I'm thinking; the southern Carribean, the first part of August 2007. With the little bit of research I've done, I found a 7-day cruise for about $500 and a round-trip flight to and from Puerto Rico (where the ship sets sail) for about $500. I'm pretty firm about the first part of August, but I'm open to other destinations. I've heard great things about Alaskan cruises, but they tend to be more expensive. I don't want to go to western Mexico, because I've been there, done that. Hawaii would be nice, as would other parts of the Carribean. I would also like to try the New York/Canada cruises. So, if you're interested in taking this vacation with me, everyone is invited, email me or call me. I'm going no matter what, even if I go alone, but it would be really fun to share this experience with my friends and family.

I hope everyone had a great Christmas. Happy New Year!

What I Want for Christmas

Last year I had a lot of fun making this list, so I'm doing it again. The idea is to give you suggestions, but feel free to buy me something not on the list if you'd like.

My Christmas Wish List

1. A Vacation. Not just any vacation, either; I want to go all around the world, hitting all the major regions, without the use of airplanes. I could spend a lot of time in the places I really enjoy and less time in the ones I enjoy less. Of course, half the fun would be getting to the destinations, hence the prohibition of airplanes - trains, boats, hot air balloons, etc. allow for time to see things around me.

2. A Boyfriend. It doesn't have to be my crush, though I wouldn't mind if things developed with him along these lines. I would like someone with whom I can talk, share things, go on dates, etc. I'm not talking marriage, just dating. Maybe next year (or the next) I'll ask for a husband.

3. A Ponytail. I cut my hair in August and told the stylist that I didn't want to be able to put my hair in a ponytail. I've regretted that decision ever since. Yes, I'm glad that I do my hair down more often now - I think it definitely looks better. However, I miss the ease of styling my hair in a quick bun or twist when I'm running late for work.

4. A Log Cabin. Last year, if you recall, I asked for a castle. Imagine my disappointment when, early Christmas morning, I didn't find a key to a castle wrapped under my tree. So, this year, hoping for better luck, I'm willing to settle for something smaller - a nice cabin located on a remote, but beautiful and wooded, acre or so of Montana. Don't ask why Montana, it just sounds nice. In the spirit of generosity, I'd also be willing to accept a cabin on Cedar Mountain. Wow. I'm selfless.

5. Painting Lessons. Grandma Moses didn't start painting 'til she was 70, so I figure if I start now I'll be ahead of the game. In all seriousness, I doubt I have any talent for painting, but I'd love to give it a go. With the right teacher (I'm thinking Da Vinci, Monet, or Picasso), I'm pretty sure I could turn out something that would look okay on the front of the fridge.

6. A Jar of Homemade Blackberry Jam and Homemade Bread. Mmmm.

You'd better hurry - there's only THREE shopping days left!!

Update

So, here's a little update:

Ant is coming to my house tonight to watch a movie!

I can't believe I invited him, it was an unusually bold move for me. Here's how it came about:

He came into my office yesterday evening about 20 minutes before closing time. We spent 10 minutes talking about his hearing aid, leaving only 10 minutes before I had to leave. And, unlike most evenings where I can stay after work longer to talk to him, I had to leave at 5pm last night. (Our office Christmas party started at 5:30, and I had to run home, pick up my date (my mom), and head to the restaurant.) So, right at 5pm I told Ant that I needed to leave. It may have been my imagination, but he looked disappointed.

Anyway, after the party I went home and turned on Lord of the Rings 3, it was on TV, and after awhile I received a text message from Ant asking if the party had been fun. I replied and we started texting. At one point he asked me if I wanted to borrow a movie from him and I said yes. He offered to bring it to me tomorrow (or today, Saturday) and asked what time would be good. Well, my family is celebrating my mom's birthday today, Saturday, (she's turning 38 on the 17th), so I said I wouldn't be free until around 9pm. He said he'd bring it to me at 9pm and asked for my address. I typed my address into my phone then worked up a lot of courage and asked if he wanted to watch the movie with me.

He said yes, and now he's coming to my house to watch a movie! I've just gotta say that I would never have been so bold in the past. I was inspired by the recent boldness of my friend, Burnsie. She's my hero!

Anyhoo, that's what's happening.

Wish me luck! (All I want is to not make a fool of myself.)

Crush

I HAVE A CRUSH!

I feel silly admitting it; I should have grown out of crushes by now. Guess not.

I first met my crush, Ant, when I started my job 3 1/2 years ago. When he was a kid, he got really sick and lost all the hearing in one ear and most of his hearing in the other, so he wears a really powerful hearing aid in his 'good' ear. The first time he came in, I thought he was cute, but he's four years younger than I am, and at that time four years was just too big of an age difference for me (I was barely 26 and he was 22). His age was a turn-off, so I wasn't interested in him at all. Whenever he'd come in, I'd think he was nice and cute, but that was it.

That changed. Recently, Ant came to pick up a new ear mold, and in order to measure the tube to fit his ear, I had to get quite close. I realized he smelled really good. He smiled at me and... well... to put it one way, his age suddenly didn't seem such a big deal.

He came back the next week to see my boss about something, but I was on the phone when he arrived for the appointment and when he left, so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. However, he came back the following day (the day before Thanksgiving), and we ended up talking for two hours. He has since come in a few more times, and each time we've talked for an hour or so.

Talking with Ant is interesting. He speaks quite well, though there are words that bother him. He know sign language, of course, and has taught me several words and helped me brush up on the alphabet (I used to forget how to sign F, Q, and X). He also reads lips; it's a bit disconcerting to talk and realize he's focused on my lips. Sometimes, though, he looks right into my eyes while I speak, and that's a bit disconcerting, too. I like that our conversations are kind of interactive, not just words coming out of our mouths. Both of us have to concentrate to make sure we fully understand the other, and sometimes we have to write a word on a piece of paper to know what is trying to be said. Often, instead of writing a word, I try to spell it out using sign language. It's fun.

Please remember that this is just a crush. I don't know enough about him to know if I could like him, but I am definitely interested in getting to know him better. Besides, I have no clue if he's interested in getting to know me better (though, there have been a couple clues that he might be). It's just kind of nice to have a crush again; it's been awhile.

I'll keep you updated, if there's ever anything to tell.

Holiday Meme

My aunt, Booklogged, posted this meme on her blog, and I really enjoyed it. So, here's my meme:

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate? Both. I only drink egg nog around Christmas, but I drink hot chocolate all winter long - I especially love Stephen's Chocolate Cinnamon Gourmet Cocoa.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? As a kid, my brothers and I would leave our stockings on a section of the couch or the loveseat. Santa would then leave our presents, unwrapped, by our stockings. Now that I'm older, Santa wraps my presents and puts them under the tree.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? I really liked the white lights when they first came out, but after a couple years, it seemed that the white lights were taking over. Now I'm glad that the colored lights seem to be making a comeback. On my house, I like both. On the tree, I like to mix it up - some years it has white lights, some years it has colored.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? Why? Who am I gonna kiss? My brothers? I don't think so. Maybe someday.

5. When do you put your decorations up? It depends. This year I'm shooting for the first weekend of December, if not sooner. It may be later. There's no hard-n-fast rule.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Mashed potatoes, made with whipping cream and butter, no gravy. I adore my sister-in-law's candied yams (no marshmallows - it's divine!). Green bean casserole. Okay, the whole turkey dinner - I love it!

7. Favorite Holiday memory as a child: Christmas Eve, right before us kids would go to bed, my parents would set the time we would be allowed to wake up the next morning - usually around 6am. I'd wake up way before that time and lay in bed waiting patiently for 6am to show up on my alarm clock. Usually just before that time, my older brother would peak into my room and we'd sneak downstairs to check out our Santa presents. We'd play with our own presents first then our younger brothers' presents. Only then would we go wake up the younger bros. We'd play until the pre-determined hour that we were allowed to wake up our parents, then we'd wake them up. They'd check out our Santa presents, then we'd all open the presents under the tree. We still take turns opening our presents, either oldest to youngest or youngest to oldest, so everyone can see what the others get.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? My dad told me when I was in 2nd grade. I had walked in on him making my Santa present - a yellow kitchenette that I adored - and decided it was time he told me the truth. I don't remember walking in on him, so he could have waited a couple years, but I hold no ill-will towards him because he told me at such a young age. In fact, I enjoyed being in on the secret.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? We used to, and sometimes still do. My mom would always pick the present we could open, and I was so excited, anticipating something really cool. It took a few years for me to figure out that the present would always be pjs. I love that tradition and, if I ever have a family of my own, I plan to continue it. Hmm. Even if I don't ever have my own family, I'm going to continue it. I'll buy myself pjs and open them Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree? I'm just starting an ornament collection. I have several white and red glass ornaments. I've only used them once, last year in my apartment. My plan is to continue to grow the collection and also get red, white, silver, and clear balls. I'd like to start the tradition of buying an ornament every year that represents something about what's happened. For example, I'd like to get an ornament this year that represents finally graduating from college.

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it? I love snow when I can either play in it or just watch it fall. I prefer not to drive in it, if I can avoid it. I love nights when snow covers the ground and the moon is full. Beautiful.

12. Can you ice skate? My only time ice skating was with a guy I met at the U my freshman year. I was horrible and nervous, so he held my hand while we skated. Afterwards, we had ice cream and hot chocolate. His name was John. I can't believe I remember that.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? My mom is great at coming up with awesome gifts. One year she gave me a cedar chest and I love it. Another year she gave me a mattress and box springs. I know that sounds like a strange gift, but it was perfect and so comfortable!

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you? Family and tradition. My family doesn't have a plethora of traditions, but I really enjoy the ones we have. I love being with my family and I'm glad we're so close - both in location and in friendship.

15. What is your favorite Holiday Dessert? Pie. No question. I love pie. My favorites are chocolate pie and cherry pie. I also love pecan pie, banana cream pie, coconut pie, strawberry pie, peach pie, and cream cheese pie.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I like going around town to look at Christmas lights. I always get car sick, but it's fun. My mom always makes clam chowder for Christmas Eve and a egg and sausage casserole for Christmas breakfast. I love making candies with my sister-in-laws. A new tradition that I really enjoy is my office parties. We go to the same restaurant, eat, and exchange white elephant gifts. My boss lets me invite my mom since I'm not married. There's a lot of laughter.

17. What tops your tree? I don't have my own tree topper, and I'm not sure what I'll get. My mom has a flying Santa Claus. It's cute.

18. Which do you prefer giving or receiving? I prefer giving. I struggle sometimes to come up with a gift that I think someone will love, but there's no better feeling than finding the perfect gift for someone.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song? The First Noel, O Holy Night, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, White Christmas, I'll Be Home For Christmas. I can't name them all, but I love all the hymns and most of the traditional songs.

20. Candy Canes! Yuck or Yum?? YUM!!! I'm not fond of the fruity canes, but the traditional white and red canes are divine. I love them.

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

Thanksgiving is in TWO WEEKS! Where has 2006 gone? It seems like yesterday when I bought my new car, graduated, and was camping in the hills above Parowan. To me Halloween marked the beginning of the end - the start of the holiday season. shudder

This year I've noticed I'm grouchier than usual, and this bodes ill for the upcoming festivities. What is happening to me? I think I'm having a gratitude-attitude problem. Take my job for instance; I remember thanking my lucky stars and Him daily that I had such a great job. I still enjoy my job, usually, but I've begun to take it for granted. I forget what a generous, patient, wonderful boss I have, my fabulous coworker in whom I confide everything under the sun, and the challenges I face and learn to overcome on a regular basis. Instead, I focus on the things I don't have - you know, paltry things like a raise, insurance, and retirement - who needs those!? (The answer, I DO!! I won't tell you about the mind-numbing, black-out-inducing, eye twitch-causing dental bill I incurred this week. Sigh.) The point is, I don't want to be like Madame Bovary who married Monsieur Bovary when she thought he was romantic and sexy (my word, NOT M. Flaubert's) then grew bored and ungrateful as the years of domesticity set in. Though I know there are opportunities out there that exceed what I will ever have at my current position - until I take those opportunities, I'm determined to appreciate my job, my situation, my life, and certainly the many blessings bestowed upon me.

To that end, I'm going to list some of those blessings. I got the idea from my cousin's recent post, so thanks, Aly.

Why I'm a Lucky Bugger (in no particular order):

1. My mom. I have a fabulous mother, and I don't tell her enough how much I appreciate her. Not only does she let me live with her rent-free (I insisted upon paying her rent until I learned she planned on putting it in a savings account for me, then I suggested I just put it in my own saving account), but when I told her about my dental bill she offered me money (I refused) and, more importantly, moral support. She's always supported me in my decisions and always encouraged me to follow my dreams. She expects me to always do my best and that inspires me to be better than I think I am.

2. Friends. Throughout my life there have been a string of wonderful people I have called friends. The people have changed with time and circumstances, but what has remained the same is their acceptance of me for who I am, or am trying to be, and how we could/can talk forever about everything and nothing. I still think about some of my old friends - Elizabeth in Rexburg, Peggy from Delta, Jaime and Erin in Vernal, high school friends, mission comps (one has a fabulous blog, so I get to keep up with her goings-on), nanny pals, ex-boyfriends, and college chums - all out of my daily life, but never forgotten. I especially appreciate my current friends and hope that we keep in touch forever.

3. My job. I've already talked about it, so I won't elaborate. I'll just say that I really do feel lucky to have my job. It's not perfect and I may be growing out of it, but I'm still extremely grateful.

4. Health. Except for the odd cold/flu and despite my weight, I'm fairly healthy. I have use of all my limbs, my mind works well in most circumstances, and I never feel the need to visit the doctor's office. I hear well, and with the aid of glasses or contacts I have fine vision. In a few weeks my teeth will be in excellent order. Even that is a blessing. Yes, I'm paying a lot for it, but I caught the problem early and now can do something to prevent further problems - problems that would have cost even more than my current bill.

5. Nature. Did you see the full moon the other day? Breathtaking, absolutely amazing. If I had been born hundreds and hundreds of years ago, I would have worshipped the moon goddess. As it is, a clear, winter night sky is about the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Throw in sunrises, sunsets, sunlight shining through tree branches laden with leaves, fall in New England, Bryce Canyon, and the lazy river meandering through Long Valley and I'm terribly thankful for my vision so I can appreciate nature's beauties.

6. Family. My brothers keep me humble. They are patient with my imperfections. They are good men and I respect them terribly. They have married great women and have, and someday will, produced wonderful kids for whom I get to be the favorite aunt. My nephews and niece give me more joy than I deserve. I'm also glad to have such good relationships with my extended family. We're a close family and I'm thankful for it. A special shout-out to Aly and Cassie; I'm glad we've become so close this year and hopefully I'll go to the U and we'll be able to hang out even more!

7. Agency. Even though it would be easier if He told me everything I need to do in and with my life, I appreciate that He lets me make a lot of decisions for myself. It's hard, but I know I learn from it, and frankly I like making my own decisions. I'm also thankful for His confirmations of my decisions once I make them and for His gentle steering towards some of the best decisions I've ever made.

8. Miscellaneous. There are a lot of "little" blessings for which I'm grateful. Among these are a dependable car, the opportunity to vote, my brother K's bed on which I sleep - it's comfy to the max, books and the pleasure I get from reading, finally graduating, mom's leather couches, PBS, the Food Network, compliments, time to relax, sleep, makeup, hair dye, being single, my old ward, blogs, journals, and more things than I can think of right now.

You're right, Aly, listing your blessings does boost your mood. In case I don't get around to posting again before the holiday (I'm spending most of next week in Las Vegas), I hope everyone has a very Happy Thanksgiving!!