Wednesday, December 06, 2006



I feel silly admitting it; I should have grown out of crushes by now. Guess not.

I first met my crush, Ant, when I started my job 3 1/2 years ago. When he was a kid, he got really sick and lost all the hearing in one ear and most of his hearing in the other, so he wears a really powerful hearing aid in his 'good' ear. The first time he came in, I thought he was cute, but he's four years younger than I am, and at that time four years was just too big of an age difference for me (I was barely 26 and he was 22). His age was a turn-off, so I wasn't interested in him at all. Whenever he'd come in, I'd think he was nice and cute, but that was it.

That changed. Recently, Ant came to pick up a new ear mold, and in order to measure the tube to fit his ear, I had to get quite close. I realized he smelled really good. He smiled at me and... well... to put it one way, his age suddenly didn't seem such a big deal.

He came back the next week to see my boss about something, but I was on the phone when he arrived for the appointment and when he left, so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. However, he came back the following day (the day before Thanksgiving), and we ended up talking for two hours. He has since come in a few more times, and each time we've talked for an hour or so.

Talking with Ant is interesting. He speaks quite well, though there are words that bother him. He know sign language, of course, and has taught me several words and helped me brush up on the alphabet (I used to forget how to sign F, Q, and X). He also reads lips; it's a bit disconcerting to talk and realize he's focused on my lips. Sometimes, though, he looks right into my eyes while I speak, and that's a bit disconcerting, too. I like that our conversations are kind of interactive, not just words coming out of our mouths. Both of us have to concentrate to make sure we fully understand the other, and sometimes we have to write a word on a piece of paper to know what is trying to be said. Often, instead of writing a word, I try to spell it out using sign language. It's fun.

Please remember that this is just a crush. I don't know enough about him to know if I could like him, but I am definitely interested in getting to know him better. Besides, I have no clue if he's interested in getting to know me better (though, there have been a couple clues that he might be). It's just kind of nice to have a crush again; it's been awhile.

I'll keep you updated, if there's ever anything to tell.


Anonymous said...

Yay, its always fun to have a crush. It makes life so much more exciting!

Anonymous said...

I'm assuming Ant is a madeup little nickname to throw us off the trail, or could it be short for Anthony? Antwan? Antwerp? Okay, now I'm getting silly.

I love that you have a crush. I have always held the believe that woman shoud be with men that are 4-6 years younger. Our society is mixed up in that regard. Well, I hope this crush provides you with flutterbies in your tummy and heart for a long time. (or at least as long as you want it to)

Cardine said...

Well, I have to say, booklogged, that six years is a little freaky to me, but I'm learning to get over my age prejudices.

Julie, I LOVE that you have a crush! I LOVE that you blogged about it! I LOVE that if someday he finds out your blog address, he will read this entry!

julie said...

Book, yes Ant is a made-up alias, sort of. I like to try to protect the innocent as much as possible.

Cardine, I'm not planning on ever telling him that I have a blog. If by some chance, I DO tell him, well... I'll have to delete this entry first. :)

Framed said...

Have you checked to see if he has a blog? Maybe he wrote about his crush.
Cardine, at my age, any man younger is better because the chances are good they will take care of me in my dotage instead of the other way around.

Adam said...

How fun!

I haven't had a crush in a while, and I miss the feeling.

Enjoy! I couldn't help but feel happy for you after reading this post.

I hope this crush brings you happiness, whether short or long term.

julie said...

Thanks, Adam. It's funny; I think you were my last crush. THAT'S how long it's been!

Framed, I doubt he has a blog. It's not impossible, but highly improbable. :)

sarah said...

I think if he ever does find out about your blog, it will be because you tell him - and if you tell him, it's because he'll already know this information. No deletion will be necessary in my opinion.