Crush

I HAVE A CRUSH!

I feel silly admitting it; I should have grown out of crushes by now. Guess not.

I first met my crush, Ant, when I started my job 3 1/2 years ago. When he was a kid, he got really sick and lost all the hearing in one ear and most of his hearing in the other, so he wears a really powerful hearing aid in his 'good' ear. The first time he came in, I thought he was cute, but he's four years younger than I am, and at that time four years was just too big of an age difference for me (I was barely 26 and he was 22). His age was a turn-off, so I wasn't interested in him at all. Whenever he'd come in, I'd think he was nice and cute, but that was it.

That changed. Recently, Ant came to pick up a new ear mold, and in order to measure the tube to fit his ear, I had to get quite close. I realized he smelled really good. He smiled at me and... well... to put it one way, his age suddenly didn't seem such a big deal.

He came back the next week to see my boss about something, but I was on the phone when he arrived for the appointment and when he left, so I didn't get a chance to talk to him. However, he came back the following day (the day before Thanksgiving), and we ended up talking for two hours. He has since come in a few more times, and each time we've talked for an hour or so.

Talking with Ant is interesting. He speaks quite well, though there are words that bother him. He know sign language, of course, and has taught me several words and helped me brush up on the alphabet (I used to forget how to sign F, Q, and X). He also reads lips; it's a bit disconcerting to talk and realize he's focused on my lips. Sometimes, though, he looks right into my eyes while I speak, and that's a bit disconcerting, too. I like that our conversations are kind of interactive, not just words coming out of our mouths. Both of us have to concentrate to make sure we fully understand the other, and sometimes we have to write a word on a piece of paper to know what is trying to be said. Often, instead of writing a word, I try to spell it out using sign language. It's fun.

Please remember that this is just a crush. I don't know enough about him to know if I could like him, but I am definitely interested in getting to know him better. Besides, I have no clue if he's interested in getting to know me better (though, there have been a couple clues that he might be). It's just kind of nice to have a crush again; it's been awhile.

I'll keep you updated, if there's ever anything to tell.