I am beginning to realize an important truth:
Just because something is "right" doesn't mean it will be easy.
It doesn't seem fair, but there it is.
After much soul searching, I finally chose my next great adventure. Then I opened the road map for the journey and discovered the way is fraught with hurdles. detours, and bad weather. I guess I expected heaven to pave a path of gold, lined with lilacs and lilies, that led straight to my destination.
Turns out the road to getting a graduate degree in economics isn't going to be a walk in the park. I figured that once I had made this decision I would be good to go. Nope. I am now faced with numerous decisions that include where to go for the degree and whether to skip my Master's and go directly to a PhD. I'm learning that the GRE is going to be a challenge no matter how hard I study. It's designed to be so. The most daunting task ahead is telling my boss that I'm leaving. SUU doesn't offer what I want, so I'm definitely moving on. He doesn't know yet. He keeps making comments like "Someday this will all be yours" that make me want to cry.
Many weeks ago I read a speech Steve Jobs (CEO of Apple) gave to the 2005 Stanford graduates. It was titled "You've Got to Find What You Love". He told three stories of how things initially appeared to be going the wrong way but they ended up being for the best. They brought about situations that were very beneficial but that wouldn't have ever happened without the "wrong things". For example, he was fired from Apple, the company he co-founded. It was embarrassing for him. Eventually he decided he really loved what he did, so he founded Pixar. During this time he also met his wife. Pixar was bought by Apple and Steve once again became CEO of Apple. Getting fired (a hard time) led to many opportunities.
I love economics. Though I'm not sure what I plan to do with it, I know I want to further my education in economics. The next step is clear and I'm going to take it, despite the difficulties. I ask myself, what opportunties are lying behind all those hurdles and along those detours? What will grow because of the "bad" weather? I have to trust that the path I see in front of me will get me where I need to go.