My Dress

Today I wore my wedding dress to school/work.

I love how I feel when I wear this dress. I feel very feminine in it, beautiful even. It gives me a smaller waist, accents my assets, hides my chubby knees (which I've become mildly focused on lately with short and skirt season), and shows off my slender calves and ankles. I've always had a thing for white eyelet fabric, so I burst through the ceiling when I saw the simple summer dress in white eyelet on the rack at JCPs last year. My cousin Cassie, who was helping me with my Spring shopping needs, teared up when I put it on. She knew what I knew as soon as I had seen it. This was going to be the dress in which I married my Steve.

And that is the real reason I love this dress. When I wear it, I feel the tangible reality of the love I have for my husband and the love he has for me. It's another reminder of the promises we made to each other a year ago this month. It brings a flood of memories of that wonderful morning; getting dressed before heading to the ceremony, stopping at the floral store to grab a single gerber daisy to act as my bouquet, looking into Steve's eyes as we said our vows, feeling like my heart was going to explode from happiness.

A year later and my life has lived up to the promises of that somewhat chilly April morning. Our love is evolving, growing. I'm often amazed by how comfortable I am with sharing my whole self with him. With that comfortableness there has come a wonderful sense of security and peace. I know that he loves me despite, or sometimes because of, the things that I perceive as weaknesses or flaws. And yet, I know there is still so much to discover about him and about us. It excites me to know I have a lifetime to spend with him and I know that anything that happens in this life will be better because he is by my side.

My wedding may not have been what I thought it would be (though it was what I had always wanted it to be), but my marriage has been better than I could have ever imagined. I may not have the typical wedding dress, but I love that I can wear it again and again. I don't wear it so much that it has lost it's special-ness, but I am so happy that I can wear it on an ordinary day and feel the extraordinary feelings from that wonderful day almost one whole year ago.

Photo Shoot

My cousin, Cassie, gave Steve and I a wonderful wedding present - she offered to do a wedding photo shoot for us. Before I lost weight, I wouldn't have loved the idea...well, I would have been a ham during the shoot but would have dreaded seeing the actual pictures. Having lost 180 lbs, I'm definitely a lot more comfortable in my own skin, so was really excited about the photo shoot. It was also nice to have Cassie taking the pictures, I trust her and feel very comfortable with her. I knew she wouldn't be thinking all the time "she looks weird" or "yikes!".

Cassie had the great plan to shoot the pictures at the train depot in Ogden, and it really turned out great. She ended up taking about 400 pictures and narrowed it down to 90 final photos, including the same shot in different colors/photoshopping. We expected her to give us a disc with those 90 pictures but she surprised us with a beautifully framed photo and several prints of different shots PLUS the disc of all 90. I love the pictures and am soooo grateful to have them as a reminder of our special day - even though the pictures were taken over a month after we eloped, we're wearing our wedding clothes.

Below are some of my favorite shots:

This is one of my favorite shots - it totally
shows Steve and I in our element.
He is in charge and I'm goofy.

This is another of my most favorite shots and
is also the one Cassie framed.

Thanks again, Cassie! We'll treasure these pictures for the rest of our lives.

Our Wedding Weekend - Friday

Every girl always dreams about her wedding. I was the same way, except I always dreamed about it being simple, stress-free, and relaxed. Then I dated guys that wanted big weddings with multiple receptions. That's great for some people...and I love attending big weddings...but it's not what I wanted. Well, dreams come true. My wedding was just what I had always dreamed it would be.

Friday, April 22nd
I had always wondered what it would feel like the night before I got married, and it was surreal. It was my last few hours of being a Merrell - the name that was my identity for oh so long! I thought I wouldn't sleep at all, especially since I had suffered from a migraine that day and had slept a lot. Nope, I slept just fine and woke up Friday morning in excellent spirits. I wasn't at all nervous, unlike my handsome groom, just happy the day had finally arrived.

Our appointment at the county clerk's office was set for 9am and we needed to be there at 8:45am. Our friends, Tim and Tiffany Neal, had agreed to be our witnesses and would meet us at the clerk's office - where they had been married, coincidentally. We arrived a little late (quite unlike me) because we had stopped to get my wedding bouquet (a single white gerber daisy) at a flower shop that had just opened and had been unprepared for early morning customers.

The ceremony was quick and simple but very sweet. We were in the clerk's office for probably 15 minutes, if that, yet it was an enjoyable 15 minutes. I remember looking at Steve while the clerk read our vows to us and we said our I do's. I felt so lucky to be marrying such a wonderful, handsome man.

Before the Ceremony

Walking to the clerk's office

Saying our vows

Getting my ring

Steve getting his ring

First kiss as man and wife

Steve, me, Ricky Hatch our officiator

Tim Neal, Tiffany Neal, Steve, me

Mr. and Mrs. Ellis

After the ceremony, we went to Jeremiah's for breakfast with Tim and Tiffany (Steve had changed out of his uniform but I stayed in my dress). I called my mom on the way to the restaurant and told her we'd just gotten married. She was surprised but happy. After breakfast, I called my dad and texted my brothers, cousins, and some close friends.

Then we did the really unromantic but definitely practical things that come with getting married. We went to the Social Security office (which was surprisingly open) and I changed my name - received the card with my new name just a couple days ago! It was a quick visit, which pleased us to no end since we've heard horror stories about waiting there forever. We then went to the base to get me an ID to get on to base without Steve and to sign me up on Steve's insurance. We wanted to go to the DMV to get a new drivers license for me, but it's closed on Fridays. I'll get there eventually. I can't wait to have a drivers license that actually looks like me! Mine is from 3 years ago when I weighed a lot more.

After all this running around, we came home and took a nap. Ahhh. It felt so good. I changed my clothes and we went to Salt Lake to recreate our first date - the aquarium and a Bees game. Well, we eventually realized that the Bees were playing in Vegas, so we just went to the aquarium and Blue Plate Diner in SLC, then headed home and went to African Cats. It was a fun, relaxing day and I loved it because I was with the man I love, my husband!