Wednesday, August 27, 2008


My Neighbors
I knew it was going to happen, I knew I'd end up liking them instead of being able to maintain the bitter feelings I had against them. Last night, I was reading on my porch after talking to my cousin, Aly, and they came home from a walk. They said hi, I said hi, and I decided to try to be a little neighborly by asking how they enjoy their new home. We ended up talking 'til after 11pm. It's true, I can talk 'til I'm blue in the face to just about anyone, but I really like these two (Allison and Travis). We talked about our condos; the things we liked, the things we wished were different, etc. We chatted about school (they are attending the local university, church (we go to the same church, though they probably wouldn't have guess it for awhile if I hadn't have mentioned it because *ahem* I haven't attended for several weeks and will be missing the next two), books, movies, our lives, etc. They were really easy to converse with and I took a lot of pleasure in spending time with them. Oh, and I found out that the other 2-bedroom condo on our floor has been purchased, so I was going to get neighbors no matter what, so how could I stay bitter? They are a young, attractive couple, married in May, and just as nice as can be. I like them and I'm glad we're neighbors. There, I said it.

My Roommate
This is a less happy story, but I hope it has the same conclusion. Actually, to be fair, I think I could really get to like my roommate, Liz, but she is never there without her fiance, Jeff. Turns out that "his house" is really his family's house, so of course they're going to spend all their time at our house; no parents! Still, it wouldn't be horrible except Jeff thinks we should all be the best of friends and keeps suggesting things we can all do together. That's not how I roll, buddy, but thanks anyway. I don't want to be unsociable, or make her feel like I don't want her there, because, like I said, I think I could like her a lot. I just need to adjust to having someone in my house, and it isn't helping that there's two people instead of just one. I'm such a baby.

My Condo
I love it more every day. One of these days, I'm going to take pictures and post them so you can all see it, although most of you already have. :)

My Vacation
That's right, I'm going on vacation - a 7-day cruise to Canada and New England. I'm driving up to my cousin's house Friday evening, and she, my aunt (her mom) and I are flying to Boston Saturday evening. The ship leaves Boston Sunday and we have four ports; St. John, Halifax, Sydney (all three in Canada), and Bar Harbor, Maine. I am so excited! I hear there's French spoken in those parts of Canada! Wouldn't that just be too awesome for words (unless they're French, then hopefully the words will positively flow and I won't sound like an idiot)! As I planned what clothes I'm taking, I prepared for the weather to be hot and humid. Last night, I suddenly remembered that this cruise is going to be a little different than my last two cruises - I'm headed north, not south. So, today I looked up the weather for our port cities and the average temp in September is in the mid-60's! How fantastic is that?? I may actually have to wear a jacket! It makes me happy. I'll try to remember to take pictures and I'll try to post them when I get back. Really, I'll try. So, don't expect to hear from me next week, I'll be back on Sunday the 7th.

Au Revoir!

Friday, August 22, 2008

Selling My Soul

Ever since my first year of college (1995), I've enjoyed being by myself. Before that, I reveled in being with people all the time. I had good friends, a boyfriend, and a close family, so I seemed to always be with people, very rarely alone. That first quarter of college was like being dunked in an ice bath; I had only two friends - my very strange roommate and a guy from high school - both of whom were very busy with school and jobs, so I never saw them. My boyfriend and I broke up. My family lived hours away. It was hard adjusting to so much time by myself.

Once I adjusted, though, I adjusted! I loved being alone - I craved being alone. I went to movies by myself, ate at Olive Garden by myself (I always imagined meeting a handsome Italian who was visiting and who, naturally, fell madly in love with me), walked all around town by myself. I mean, I had friends and roommates that I did things with, but I spent a lot of time alone. It was good for my soul.

My mission challenged me. Spending 24/7 with someone had it's good points (always had someone to tell my nightly dreams to), and luckily I had some good mission companions who made it easy to spend so much time with them. However, there were times I thought I'd explode if I didn't get time to myself. My first apartment's bathroom light was connected to a fan - if you turned on the light, you turned on the fan, too. It became my sactuary. I'd go in there to read, to think, to pretend to be alone, even though someone was just beyond the door. A couple weeks before I came home, I dreamed that I got to drive home from my mission, from Montreal to Utah. I stopped somewhere along the way and hung out at a park. I sat on a blanket on the grass (I'm allergic to grass even in my dreams) by a little stream and watched parents and kids play, enjoying the sunny Spring day. I basked in being alone. I woke up depressed.

My last roommate was one of my best friends (to clarify: she still is one of my best friends, she was my roommate). Looking back, I have a lot of regrets. I didn't realize it at the time, but I was at the point where I needed to live alone. We still had good times and stayed best of friends, but I wish I could go back and be a better roommate than I was. Fortunately, she was really patient with me. Thank you and sorry!!!

I've now lived on my own for over a year and frankly, I love it. I even loved it when I lived in my teeny tiny studio, but I love it ten million times more now that I have so much space! The kitchen is all my own to do with what I will; a fridge all to myself, no guilt when I leave the dishes in the sink until I get home from work, no sharing of kitchen toys. Sigh. I love it. I love being able to walk around my home looking ugly and not caring because who's going to see me? I get a lot of alone time. Aaaaaahhhhh.

So, I feel like I'm selling my soul. Tonight, I'm getting a roommate. Well, tonight and tomorrow she is moving in her stuff, but she's not planning on staying there until Sunday night. She's a nice girl, 21 years old, a senior in college, engaged, cute, and...well, nice. I chose her because she's engaged - she says she spends a lot of time at her fiance's house AND next summer she's getting married, so will move out. I don't really like the idea of kicking someone out, but I don't want a roommate that would stay for an indefinite time period. And, she's nice. We don't have a lot in common, which is good - I'm not looking for a best buddy. I bet we'll get along, though. It will just be strange to have someone living there with me. When I start to fret, I think of the money and what I plan to do with it.

See? I'm selling my soul.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Odd Occurrences

Odd Occurrence #1: This past weekend, I was visiting friends in Logan and one friend had a photo album with pictures from when she was in high school. I found pictures of myself in them, one picture was from a dance I attended with my boyfriend, the first love of my life. I got kind of sentimental thinking about him and "the good 'ol days". Then, as it usually happens when you think about someone you haven't seen for awhile, I saw this guy's parents, who I hadn't see in ages. Okay, I know that's not how it's suppose to happen, but it's what happened this time. His mom showed me pictures of my ex and his brand-new baby girl (one week). He looked as goofy and as good-looking as I always thought he was back in the day. While she showed me pictures, his dad caught me up with what's been happening in K's life. Just before they left, she patted my hand and said, "You know, we always expected him to marry you and I was so glad because we liked you so much." Ouch. Nice, but ouch!

Odd Occurrence(s) #2: This has happened all week, so at what point does it cease to be "odd" and become "routine"? Anyhoo, my cell phone is set to go off three times in the morning; 7:10, 7:20, and 7:30. The first two are to drag me out of a deep sleep and the third is to get my behind out of bed. Doesn't always work, but it's a pretty good system in general. Well, every day this week, at exactly the same time as the third alarm, the sun rises above the mountains and shines directly on me through my east-facing window. It's like a double whammy: sun and alarm. The sun must currently be at the perfect angle to achieve this feat, so I'm expecting it to stop happening any day now. I only hope that it rises above the mountains after 7:30, not before.

Side note: I love my bedroom because of the light its two large windows let in. Currently, at night, my south-facing window allows beautiful moonbeams to fall on my bed and it's glorious. *sigh*

Odd Occurrence #3: This is my favorite. Teehee. Tuesday evening, after a long day, I returned home and climbed up the flight of stairs to my condo. As I did so, I got a perfect view into the bedroom of the house across the fence. It's been empty lately, so I was a bit surprised to see a man who had just finished removing all his clothes! Honestly, I didn't mean to look, it was just in front of me! And, because it took a second or so for my brain to register what I was seeing, I got a healthy look. *blush*

I love it when life throws little curve balls at me. Nothing too life-changing, just things that make me go "hmm" or "teehee" or even *blush*.

Friday, August 08, 2008

Movie Theatre Neighbors

I love going to movies on nights when most people don't go. Years ago, I would go to a movie every Thursday night because the theatre by my house was practically empty on Thursday nights. In fact, there were nights when I'd be the only patron in the entire place (6 theatres)! I loved it.

However, there is one aspect of going to a sparsely populated movie that has the potential to drive me batty. I get there early (as is my nature), sit in the middle of the back row, and patiently wait for the movie to begin. Then, a few minutes before the show starts, someone comes into the theatre, looks at all the empty seats, and decides that the one in front of/right next to me is the best option. I wouldn't mind if the theatre was packed, but it's EMPTY! What are they thinking?

Well, last night I was informed that I'm getting neighbors. There are 6 empty condos in my building and 8 empty condos in the adjacent building. This couple decided that the one right next to me was the best option for them! They close on the 14th. I have less than a week to enjoy the absolute privacy that I've learned to love. I can sit on my porch and know that probably nobody will ever notice I'm there - the building is far off the road and I'm on the 3rd floor - who looks up at the 3rd floor? Now I'll have neighbors that will sit out there when I'm sitting out there. Neighbors who will come home from grocery shopping while I'm enjoying the peace and quiet.

I know I'm not being very neighborly, but don't worry, I'll be better once I've gotten accustomed to the idea. I'll even bake them some brownies (I don't do cookies) to welcome them to my...I mean "the"...building. It's just that in my mind I figured the unit next to mine would be one of the last units to go. It only has 2 bedrooms and isn't significantly cheaper than a 3 bedroom unit. Plus, it's on the third floor! Who wants to have to go up those stairs every day??? I can't fault their logic; I had the same thoughts - my side of the condo has the best view of the mountains and surrounding area (mine is the best because I'm on the end) and when you're on the 2nd floor you have to worry about the people below and above you. Annoying.

Still, I can't help but feel like they are honing in on my perfect seat at the theatre. *sigh*

I hope I like them so I can stop resenting them. :)

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Funk Busters

As mentioned earlier, I've been a little down-in-the-dumps lately. That good cry I had did a lot to boost me out of the pit, but I realized that a bit more climbing needed to be done to get all the way out. I wasn't feeling as bad as before but wasn't quite my usual self.

So, I made some goals that are designed to help me get back to normal. I figure August is as good a time as any to make goals.

My Goals for August and Beyond:

1. Say 3 nice things about my boss every work day. I really like my boss, he's like a brother to me, but lately I've been unhappy with him. Since I still have 17 months left of my verbal contract, and quitting just because of a rough patch is stupid anyway, I thought long and hard how to overcome this bad attitude of mine. I can't do anything about the things he's doing to bother me except to react to them better. I chose this goal because it will help remind me of all the reasons why he's such a great guy and why I like him so much. Also, my coworker and I kind of egg each other on when we complain about our boss; if I'm saying nice things about him, I'm not encouraging her, she's not encouraging me, and we all feel better.

2. Walk 5 times a week. I am committed to this goal. So much so that I have changed my work schedule to help me accomplish it. You see, my evenings are so rarely free. Even when they are, I'm usually too tired or it's raining or something else keeps me from walking. I've tried unsuccessfully to wake up an hour earlier to walk in the mornings, but my body totally doesn't want to wake up at 6:30 if it doesn't have to. And, it doesn't consider walking as "having to". So, I now work 10am to 6pm, still wake up at 7:30, and walk for about 45 minutes. Today was my first day and it felt great. However, I'm worried that working 'til 6pm is going to be difficult to get used to. Oh well. It's a small price to pay.

3. No fast food. Exception: when travelling, but then I'll try to order healthier options. I think bad food = bad attitude. I'm not getting the nutrients I need to stay healthy, so I feel crappy. Plus, I've gained weight which really doesn't help the attitude. Now that I have a kitchen in which to cook (Yeah!!!), I can cook more, eat healthier, and start feeling better. However, as I discovered last week, just having a kitchen doesn't solve all woes. It has to be stocked with food that I want to eat. Last week I didn't go grocery shopping because I was leaving at the end of the week for a reunion, so by Wednesday I didn't have any food! Not just food I didn't feel like eating - I had NO FOOD. So, I ate out Wednesday and Thursday. Tsk tsk. Lesson learned.

4. One movie a week. I've been working too hard. I know that goes against the lack of motivation I talked about last time, but before that I was working too hard too often. No wonder I stopped wanting to work - it was all I had been doing for a couple months! So, in an effort to play a little (sitting on the couch watching Food Network doesn't count), I'll watch one movie a week. It doesn't have to be in a theatre, nor does it even have to be a rental. I have several movies at home that I enjoy watching that I don't view nearly as often as I could. However, there are several movies that have come out, or that are about to come out, that I would like to see, so I'm starting a list. Last week I watched Mummy 3. This week I'm not sure what I'll watch - maybe I'll rent something at Redbox tonight.

5. Church. I've started reading my scriptures nightly again (I stopped when I moved and couldn't find my French copy - even though my English copy was at the foot of my bed!), praying, and plan on attending my church meetings regularly again - starting this Sunday (though not my own ward - I'm visiting friends this weekend). It's a simple truth that doing these three things help me stay balanced and in good spirits. Why I ever stop, I have no idea.

Already, as I've started to work on these 5 goals, I feel better - even with the cold that's been coming on. Even though my body is getting sick, my spirits are healing. It feels good.

P.S. This has nothing to do with this post, but I wanted to mention it, just to keep you updated. Tomorrow night someone is coming to look at my room for rent. She's the only female who has shown interest in it, and from what I know of her at this point (very little), she has potential to be a fairly good fit. I'll let you know how it goes. :)