Tuesday, February 09, 2010

At Least I Have Options...

I know, I know...I still haven't written about my trip to Paris, I'm sorry! I won't lie, I feel a little overwhelmed by it. I haven't touched my photos from the trip yet. Once I do something with them, I'll get a post up. Fortunately, I kept a journal while I was there, so I won't have to try to remember what happened.

In the meantime, let me get you up to speed with my dating life. And, for a moment, let us all rejoice that I actually have a dating life. Woohoo! Here are the men that are currently "in" my life, in order of interest more or less.

I met Sam online. He was the first guy to email me. We went on our first date mid-December, just over one week after he first emailed me. For awhile, I considered him my boyfriend. He, on the other hand, has considered me his girlfriend since our second date. Why is it that it takes me longer to get to that point than the guys I date? Doesn't matter. Sam is from Canada and has traveled all over the world. He worked for a few years as a security officer on cruise ships before taking his current job at an airline. His job gives him amazing travel benefits and he added me to them, so we'd be able to travel together cheaply. Things I like about Sam: he likes sports (and is introducing me to the joys of hockey), likes to kiss, has a great sense of humor, is quiet but not shy, is patient, and is strong. Not just physically, which he is, but he also seems like someone I could rely on, depend on, lean on when I need support.

That said, we've run into a bit of a hurdle recently, and I'm having a hard time getting over it. I'm not sure if I'll be able to, honestly, even though I really like him. I haven't broken up with him, but I'm taking a few steps back until I figure out some things. We're still going away for Valentines Day weekend - we're staying with my cousin in Vegas - and I have a feeling that the trip is going to make or break us. The funny thing is, I'm not even sure he realizes it. I mean, he knows that I was really unhappy last week, but he may not realize that I'm still unhappy. I don't know, maybe I don't give him enough credit.

I met Danny online a few weeks ago. I "winked" at him (basically just letting him know that I had looked at his profile and was interested). He winked back, then nothing. For the record, winking is the only first move I'll make, and I haven't even done that very many times. A few days later, he emailed me, saying it was his first time emailing a girl he'd met online and to please excuse any "rookie mistakes" he made. So, we started emailing; our initial emails were pretty short and not very exciting - unlike my emails with Sam...we had such an instant connection that shone through even with our first emails to each other. However, they slowly have become more personal and interesting, and last night we met for the first time. He has two kids from a previous marriage and had had them for the past week. He stopped in town on the way home (Vegas) from Provo (where his ex and kids live). We chatted at a cafe for a couple hours and I really enjoyed it. He's attractive, motivated, LDS (Sam is Jewish), likes sports, smiles a lot, and seems like a great dad. He is an attorney in Vegas and is planning to someday pass the bar in Utah so he can move closer to his kids. I don't know where things are going to go from here. He lives far enough away that I'm not sure how often we'll get together...and I don't know how thrilled I am at the prospect of a long-distance relationship. However, for the meantime, I'm good with seeing what happens.

Again, I met him online, shortly after I started emailing Sam. He lives in Manti and is also LDS. We've had some really good conversations through email, but it doesn't seem to be progressing beyond that. At one point, we exchanged phone numbers, but all he's done is text me, never called. We share a passion for writing, reading, and history. He's always very sweet and complimentary to me in his emails and asks me lots of questions about myself, my day, how I'm doing, etc. I appreciate the interest he shows...so many guys don't ask any questions about me and it kind of feels like they aren't interested in knowing me. Again, we'll see where this goes.

Darin winked at then emailed me a few weeks ago. He lives in the same town as me, is divorced, has 3 kids, and is actually older than me. We talked a couple days after our first emails and he seemed...interesting...a little brash and loud. We set up a date, but things got really good with Sam - I started thinking of him as my boyfriend - and I felt weird about going out with another guy. So, I canceled the date with Darin. A couple days later, he texted me saying he was ready to go out as soon as I was. I told him I had just started getting serious with another guy so wouldn't be free to go out with him. He said he understood and asked that I let him know if things didn't work out with the other guy. I figured I wouldn't hear back from him ever again. Well, I was wrong. Every few days or so, he'd text me to say hi. At first, I wouldn't text back, I didn't want to lead him on, but he kept texting me. Then things went south with Sam, so this weekend, when Darin texted me, I responded back. We ended up placing a friendly wager on the Super Bowl outcome, and I lost. The bet was that the loser had to pay for a movie at the theatre, which means we'll be going out at some point. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I'm not mega interested in him...he's a little rude and sarcastic and rough around the edges. And, my dad knows him and doesn't think he's a good match for me. However, I'm willing to give him a chance, especially because he's obviously interested in me enough to keep trying even after I canceled our date and told him I was dating someone else. He didn't give up, and he obviously thinks about me during the day because I get random texts from him. I wish I could say the same for Sam. Sigh. :(

There are a few other guys not really worth mentioning in detail; one online (lives in WA), one in Cedar (has asked me out a couple times but 1)I'm not sure if it's just as friends or if he's interested and 2)I'm not sure I'd be interested if he is), and one that is probably never going to happen (a lady who works in a neighboring office wants to set me up with her nephew).

I talked to my dad this weekend about all that's going on. I was kind of stressing a bit, and he gave me some good advice. He told me to just enjoy the dating process...I haven't had a lot of dating experience, especially not with having several actual options at one time. He advised me to not settle on one for awhile, to test the waters, to enjoy the attention, and wait until I'm sure that I've found a guy that could make me happy. Excellent advice. I'm trying really hard to follow it. Because really, I've NEVER had this many options before in my life! They all may fall through, but in the meantime, I'm thrilled and am enjoying the ride as much as possible.


Kate Weber said...

I agree with your dad. Have fun! Flirt it up, babe! Paint the town red! Kick up your heels! (And a bunch of other cliche and outdated 'go get em' terms). Love you lots! Hope you find a great guy soon, cause doll; you deserve it!

Cardine said...

I really like your background! It is cool that you have options, and I'm glad that you're having fun.

Cassie said...

I agree with your dad as well. I'm so excited for you and all these options you've got going on. Hopefully I'll get to see you this weekend.

Melissa said...

I too, agree with your dad. Have fun, enjoy the attention and don't settle for anyone that doesn't just make you fall head over heals for them!

Mellissa said...

I thought my life with school and home and such was stressful, but I am thankful I'm not in your dating shoes. I think your flirtatious nature suits you well for this line-up. Your dad did give great advice. You have to work and play simultaneously with dating, otherwise you won't find who you're looking for. I'm glad you're having fun. :)

Framed said...

When did your dad get to be so smart? ;) I totally agree with him. Keep your options open and enjoy the process. I just read a review on a book about getting married. It said that most women don't get married because they are looking for "the perfect one," instead of finding someone that is "good enough." I certainly wouldn't want to live up to perfection. I would feel so inadequate. There is someone out there who will make you happy. Just wait for it.

tearese said...

What a crazy time! I liked a lot of people around the time I met Joseph, but none of them were actually that interested in me, so I never had that dilema!
I agree with everyone, don't feel like you have to settle on someone now, but don't give up on someone about something small...wait and see what happens!

I have to admit that after I got engaged, there were several moments that I thought, "wow what am I doing, I can't marry him!" Like when I met his family. But thats another story...

Hope you're having fun and not too stressed!

julie said...

Kate, you know, I've never painted a town red before...that's it...I'm gonna do it! :) Love you, too, and I'm hoping the same thing for you!

Cardine, thanks! I really like lady bugs, and the color red, so it was a match made in blogger heaven. Speaking of fun...I'm looking forward to hanging out with you and our friends tomorrow!

Cassie, thanks for being excited for me. I'm planning on seeing you this weekend...so don't back out on me! I'm looking forward to it!

Melissa, you know, sometimes I wonder if there really is a guy out there that will make me fall head over heals. I keep thinking that all this is harder than it should be. Or am I just an idiot and make things harder than they are? :)

Missy, yeah, I'd totally swap your school and home stress if you'd date for me. You're obviously good at it! :) I am having fun, and dating is certainly better than not dating.

Framed, yeah, I'm not looking for perfect, just someone that feels right. Someone who is patient and who doesn't give up on me when I go cuckoo. Perfect is too intimidating, not to mention unrealistic.

Tearese, I love getting your perspective on dating/marriage, thanks! I am having fun, though I'm also stressing, too. I wouldn't be me otherwise! Sigh. Sometimes I wish I weren't so like me. :) I'd love to hear that story sometime!

Anonymous said...

It's not that I don't agree with your dad... it's just that I've gotten similar advice before from my dad... "just relax and have fun."

Well, I'm sorry... sometimes the stress out-weighs the fun!!!!

And yet, I like what you just said about dating is better than not dating. Pure inspiration.

KieraAnne said...

I agree with the don't stress part. I'd also like to add that when I finally started dating Patrick it wasn't stressful. It wasn't hard. I did like a few other guys, but everything just fell into place once we really started seeing each other. I think that was a sign for me that he was the one. Don't know if that's good advice or not, since everyone/situation is different. I like hearing about all of your boys though! ;)

julie said...

Sarah, I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels that way sometimes! However, today I read a quote that may change my life...if I let it. Stephen Covey: "Basing our happiness on our ability to control everything is futile." I really need to relax and not try to be in control of everything...especially my emotions.

Keira, you know, I keep thinking that's how it's going to be when I find someone who is right for me, but I'm not sure enough to not give the "hard ones" a healthy chance. Maybe they aren't easy because I complicate things and I'll always complicate things, so it will never be easy. :)

*deep breath* *must remember the above quote!*


julie said...


I keep forgetting to mention that Danny has asked me out "again". (I guess our chat at The Pastry Pub counts as a first date?) Anyway, he may be in my neck of the woods next weekend and would like to go out with me again. It's always nice when a guy you meet after chatting with online is still interested after meeting face-to-face. Woohoo!

Booklogged said...

Sounds like fun and stress both - sounds like dating.