Having Faith and Hope

Life sometimes makes me chuckle.
.
Because if I didn't chuckle, I'd probably break down and cry.

Okay, I did cry a little. A week ago, I was laid off from my chiropractic job.

Yep. After deciding, and managing, to have a better attitude about my job, I was let go. It happened on a Friday, after the work day had ended. The day after I found out my car needed $700 worth of repairs. Steve had to pick me up from work that night because my car was still at the repair shop. I got into the car and responded to his questions monosyllabic-ally. He caught on fast and asked what was wrong. I started to cry and told him I'd been laid off. He pulled over and held me close until I stopped crying. We talked about my options. My boss had given me two options - to have Monday (the last day of the pay period) be my last day or to work a little longer while I searched for a new job. We decided to see if he'd let me work the rest of the month, just a couple weeks, but the money would be helpful. Steve took me out to dinner and I tried hard to forget about being laid off.

The next day, Saturday, we moved into our new home, which really helped to take my mind off my job situation. Nothing soothes the mind and soul like manual labor. I love the new house and already feel at home in it. This weekend, after spending Thanksgiving with my family, we'll bring up my red couches, kitchen table, and all the other stuff I left in Cedar. It will be awesome to have everything with me again.

Monday came and I asked my boss if I could work through the end of the month. He said that would be great and was happy that I had decided to stay a little longer. Um...how weird is that? If it were up to me, I'd be staying even longer, but whatever. Then, Wednesday after work, he called me into his office and said he had a better idea. Friday would be my last day and then he'd pay me for Monday (today) and Wednesday. That way I could get a little more money without having to work. It wasn't an option, it was how it was gonna be. I found out later that this change came about because the office manager, the diva I dislike, insisted that I be gone by the end of the week or she'd quit. Even though I dislike her, too, it was humbling to find out that someone dislikes me so much.

The past few months have been hard job-wise. I've learned just how much my self image has depended on having a good job, one that I enjoy and excel at and that challenges me. Not having a job like that has been really difficult. I don't regret moving here, being around Steve is worth all the job heartache. And, it's helping me develop a few attributes that I lack or am not strong in. I'm having to depend on someone else, something that my independent side struggles with. My brother gave me excellent advice about letting Steve take care of me and I'm doing my best to follow it. I'm grateful that I have such a wonderful, generous man in my life who is willing to take care of me when I need it (and when I don't). Most importantly, I'm having to have faith and hope that I'll find a good job soon; one that will pay the bills and that I'll really enjoy. I'm trusting God that He knows what is best for me and that if I work hard at searching for a job, one will pop up. I've already been blessed to have a friend let me know about some openings at her job. I'll just keep praying and crossing my fingers.

For years, I led a safe life. It was a good life but a part of me hoped for something more, something new. Boy, did I get what I hoped for! Life is fun and new and scary and exciting and nothing is for sure, and goll darn it, I'm happy.

Yay!