Saturday, February 19, 2011

Finding Passion

I am a romantic. I always have been, though I do my best to temper it with a healthy dose of pragmatism whenever possible. All my life I daydreamed about finding my true love, the man I'd love with all my heart and spend the rest of my life with. I didn't neglect my life waiting for Prince Charming, but I was always on the lookout for him - even those years when I was totally against ever getting married.

It's amazing how much mind space and time has been opened up now that I have found the love of my life. Some of the time I spent daydreaming about finding Prince Charming has now been channeled into thinking about Steve and our future together, but there's still quite a healthy chunk of time leftover. I find myself spending more time thinking about the other aspects of my life that, though never neglected, certainly weren't in the foreground of my thoughts. Things like my career and what to do with my time when not at work.

I'm realizing more fully that my life lacks passion...not in the romance department, but in every other one. I'm grateful to have a job, don't get me wrong, but I'm not enamored with it. It's a dead end job with no potential for advancement and it's not really what I want to do with my life - it lacks challenge and definitely is beneath my potential. So, I'm wracking my brains trying to decide what I'd like to do for a career. It's not very easy. I never had an idea of "what I want to be when I grow up". I definitely learning what aspects of a job appeal to me and what don't. Ideally, I'd like something that could eventually enable me to be my own boss.

Anyway, that's a subject for a complete and substantial blog post. I'm also realizing how little passion I have for any hobby or extracurricular activities. I enjoy doing several things; cooking, hiking, walking, reading, tennis, but I don't necessarily feel PASSIONATE about any of them - even cooking, though that's definitely the closest one. I talked it over with Steve a few nights ago and he suggested trying some new hobbies. I may not be cut out for passion in my hobbies, I may just be too lazy to care that much about anything, but I figure it's worth a try. If nothing else, I'll have a little fun.

The first thing I'm going to try is gardening. I'm actually pretty excited about trying it. Steve and I don't have a yard, but we have front and back patios that would be ideal for potted gardens. I anticipate having a good time planning what to plant, spending time with Steve picking out pots and soil and then spending the spring, summer, and fall maintaining our garden...oh and enjoying the fruit of our labor! I'm not known for my growing skills, but I plan on researching how to care for the plants we choose and really spending time nurturing them.

I'd also like to start biking. We're going to buy bikes when the weather turns warmer and we have a great biking/walking path really close to our home. In fact, I'd also like to try rollerblading again! I have art supplies I bought with the help of my friend, Doug, but have always been too busy (and scared) to sit down and paint. I'd like to try my hand at painting. I may be horrible, but there's the chance of finding something I'm passionate about. You never know! We're also getting a dog in a couple months, so that will be fun and interesting. Steve thinks maybe I'll be good at dog training. We'll see. And maybe this winter, when the weather turns bad again, I'll take up sewing. My mom once hinted that she may give me her old sewing machine and if she does, it may be fun to start sewing fun projects like curtains, pillowcases, and maybe even skirts...if I get decent enough.

At any rate, I feel good about what life has to offer. I am blessed to be in love with the most wonderful man in the universe. I have a decent paying job. And, I have the means and opportunity to explore the offerings of life. Life. I guess that is something I'm passionate about. I love living. I love my life.

I'll do my best to record my attempts at these hobbies, successes and failures. Hopefully there's more successes than otherwise. And, hopefully you have passion in your life. If you do, I'd love to hear about your passions!


Kate Weber said...

Good luck finding your passion. I'm struggling with the same thing. I know I have plenty of time to do so, but I have no idea where to start. It's kind of intimidating. I wish you luck! If anyone kind find something amazing, YOU can.

Cassie said...

As someone who has done and is still doing the same thing, good luck. It's fun trying new things. My problem is sticking with them. I'm on to my next thing...crochet.

Anonymous said...

Oh yes... a recurring theme in my own life as well. I think it's great that you'll be trying new things. Maybe someday you can write a book about your quest for passion.

I think I'm spending too much brain space on thinking about Prince Charming. Also, I think that if I tried new hobbies to find my passion, I would just be frustrated that there were even more things I wanted to do with less time to do them. I just want to do it all... but not any one of them... with passion. Ha!

Cardine said...

I have come to find out that I am not really passionate about anything. I'm pretty boring, and I'm okay with that. Maybe I'm passionate about being boring. I'm doing a pot garden this year, too! I planted yesterday. Last year it didn't work, but I have hopes for this year!

Anonymous said...

Hee, hee... I don't think you guys should be growing pot gardens. It just seems... illegal.


sar said...

Hmm, a quest for passion, this sound familiar. One of my own conclusions on this subect is that when you're interested in lots of different things it can be difficult to be passionate about any one thing.

tearese said...

I don't think I've ever had a job I was passionate about. I liked grading art essays, and TAing the Photography class in college, but those were 10 years ago...
I've read articles about how in America people equate their self-worth with their job title and responsibilities. This is very true for a lot of people. When I realize my job (even when its homemaker) doesn't determine my worth or who I am, I usually feel much better about myself.
Sometimes I feel like I need to make a children's book or do something else important, but I always realize its just to impress other people and not something I really want to do right now.
So yeah, sometimes you just have to be grateful you even have a job. ANd stuff.
I have never been that passionate about hobbies either (not even art, really) and I sometimes feel bad about it. But what are you gonna do?

warnser said...

"I didn't neglect my life waiting for Prince Charming, but I was always on the lookout for him"

I think that's probably how it should go. Good job.

Jessica said...

I hope you find what your looking for and I hope it makes you happy. I'm kinda trying to find my passion except not just for hobbies but also for a college- I'm undeclared and nothing seems to stand out as something I want to spend the rest of my life doing. XP