In case you caught it, no, I didn't intentionally follow the alliteration pattern from before, it's just a happy coincidence.
Anthony and I just had our first "fight". It's a big milestone for me because I actually expressed my feelings fairly quickly instead of hiding them and trying to forget them. Here's what happened:
Today I left for a business trip (yes, another business trip!!! AND I have another one next week!) and will be gone 'til Sunday evening, so Anthony wanted to get together last night (Tuesday) so he could see me before I left. Sweet, right? I asked him what time and he said 6pm. He tends to be a little late, so I didn't really start to get upset 'til 6:30. At 7 I text'd him and asked him what was happening. He said he'd be there in a little bit. He finally arrived at 7:50!!
Well, if you know anything about me at all, you know that I'm a very punctual person; I HATE being late and I HATE it when people are late picking me up. Most of the time I try to understand that other people don't have the same obsession as me, so I really tried hard not to be mad but I was. Two hours late is pretty rude, don't you agree?
When he finally arrived, I tried really hard not to harbor bitter feelings, but I was not happy and had a hard time enjoying the evening. I was annoyed by a lot of things, but the final straw was when he took me home. We usually talk in the car for awhile, then he walks me to my door, we hug, kiss, and say good night. Well, last night, we talked for a little bit, but he was tired and I was trying not to still be in a bad mood, so we didn't have a lot to say. Then he gives me a hug and kiss inside the car and says good night! It took me a few moments to process that he wasn't getting out of the car. I didn't know what to say, but I was hurt.
When I got inside I felt like crying because I was so mad/hurt. I remembered something my dad had said when I spoke to him on Sunday. I had mentioned that sometimes Anthony seems bossy because he doesn't ask me to do things, he tells me. A lot of that is his communication limitations, but a bit is due to his upbringing. Dad told me I should talk to Anthony about it since it bugs me because how will Anthony ever know that it bugs me if I don't tell him? And, if he doesn't know, how can he choose to change, if he wants? So, I decided to put Dad's advice into practice. I texted Anthony and asked why he didn't walk me to the door. I chose that subject because it had just happened, as opposed to him being late which had happened hours earlier. He wrote back, "What do you mean?" At that point I was finished. I didn't respond.
I stewed about it all day. I was mad, but I'm not very good at vocalizing when I'm mad. I'm always afraid that people won't like me if I'm ever not in a good mood, but that's a whole 'nother post. Tonight, I got to my hotel and decided to text him. I asked how he was doing and he said he was confused because of my text. We texted back and forth a bit, but it was hard to communicate what we wanted to say, so we switched to IM'ing. That was tons easier. We discussed everything that had upset me, and he apologized. He felt really bad. He said he knew I was mad at him after I didn't respond to his text, so he worried all day. I apologized for making him worry and explained that I'm really bad at saying when I'm mad, and explained why. In the end, we worked things out, and I feel good about it. It was good to discover that he still likes me, even though I got mad at him. And hopefully I'll be able to be more open with him in the future and not wait 'til we've both had rotten days before talking about it.
Sigh. I still think being single is easier than being in a relationship; however, it's not nearly as satisfying. And, I really enjoy getting that little thrill when he tells me he loves me, even when it's in writing. It makes up for all the complexities of a relationship. *Grin*