Early Moments

My earliest memory is our car's dashboard as my parents rushed me to the hospital. I must have been laying in my mom's lap because I remember what the glove box and dashboard looked like. Don't ask what kind of car we had or its color - I don't remember. If I remember correctly, I was 2 years old and had swallowed a penny. There must have been some threat to my health, maybe I wasn't breathing. I just remember the glove box and dashboard and knowing I was going to see a doctor because something was wrong.

My second earliest memory is the first time I lied (to my knowledge). I was four-ish and I was helping my brother, J., get out of his crib. He, C., and I shared a room and J.'s crying was disturbing my sleep. Mom and Dad were out for the evening and our mean babysitter had put us to bed early. I don't remember anything else about the babysitter, just that she was "mean" and that she came in the room while I was helping J. out of the crib. She (angrily, I'm sure) asked what I was doing. Panicked, I stuttered that I was putting J. back in the crib. Now I'm not sure she believed me, but at the time I "learned" that adults were gullible.

I had my first boyfriend in first grade. His name was Jose and I really liked him and he really liked me (who wouldn't - I was adorable in first grade!). One day our class watched The Dark Crystal and I got scared. Jose put his arm around my shoulders to comfort me. I remember putting my head on his shoulder and thinking that I was going to marry him someday. He moved away from Vernal at some point, either during that year or just after. I was sad, of course. Then he moved back in fourth grade and I was so excited!! Unfortunately we had grown up and apart. I thought he was a jerk. Sigh. I wonder where Jose is now.

My first kiss came much, much, much later. This guy I had liked for years finally clued in and we started dating. One night we had gone on a double date with my friend and his cousin who were also dating. After the evening's events we parked in front of my house. We were in the front seat and our friends were in the back. Turning off the car, K put his arm around me and pulled me close and we cuddled for awhile. My eyes must have been closed because I didn't see him coming in for the kiss. I don't even really remember what the kiss felt like. I just remember something happening and when it was over I thought, I think he just kissed me! I was disappointed that I hadn't paid better attention. Fortunately, he followed up that kiss with another when he walked me to my door.

The first time I rode in an airplane was when I left for Montreal to serve my mission. I had seen so many people get to go down the walkway to board and I had always been jealous - they were getting to go somewhere. When my turn finally came, I was so excited that I didn't even feel very sad to be saying goodbye to my family. I was finally going somewhere!! First we (my fellow missionaries and I) flew to Chicago, had a short layover, then flew into Montreal. The other missionaries were all clumped together at the front of the economy section, while I sat near the rear. On the way to Chicago I sat with a nice man from Salt Lake who was going to Chicago on business. He wasn't LDS, but he knew a lot about our religion. He was very friendly. When we got to Chicago the other missionaries expressed their jealousy that I had been able to talk about the church practically the whole flight to a nonmember. It got better. On the flight to Montreal I sat next to a lovely, old gentleman from Montreal who was flying home. He introduced me to the joys of ginger ale. He wasn't LDS, either. I had a great conversation with him and as we deboarded from the plane I was able to give him a Book of Mormon (he asked for one!!!). It was the best possible first airplane ride one could ever hope for.

If I Had a Dollar for Every List I Make!

Okay! I'll submit! These cursed lists. Sigh. For others of this kind, please see cjane and cardine. I'm going to omit the last list (who I would want to do a list like this) and add one of my own. Just know that I'd like to read a list like this by everyone I know. Enjoy!

Things I want to do before I die:
1. Go to France
2. Run a marathon
3. See the Great Wall of China
4. Write a novel
5. Drive across the United States
6. Motorcycle across Europe
7. Sit in mud at a spa

Things I cannot do:
1. Fly
2. Write legibly with my left hand
3. See without corrective lenses
4. Reject a guy without making a fool of myself
5. Consume nothing but fruit juice for more than 3 days
6. Jump on a trampoline
7. Give up chocolate

Things that will attract me to my future spouse:
1. Smiles a lot
2. Avid reader
3. Kind of shy
4. Chivalrous
5. Good listener, good conversations
6. Honest and trustworthy
7. Likes me

Things I say often:
1. Possible, but not probable
2. Holy cow!
3. Holy canolli!
4. Thank you for calling Intermountain ______ _____, this is Julie
5. Ok
6. Excellent (a la Mr. Burns)
7. Please

I should say more: I'm sorry

Books currently reading/on my reading queue:
1. Old Testament (I'm the gospel doctrine teacher)
2. Something by Agatha Christie
3. The Bourne Ultimatum
4. The Bourne Legacy
5. Whatever I find at the library
6. Whatever I find at the library
7. Whatever I find at the library

Movies I could watch over and over:
1. While You Were Sleeping
2. Princess Bride
3. Hero
4. Father Goose
5. Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea
6. The originial Star Wars movies (Episodes IV, V, VI)
7. A&E's Pride and Prejudice

Things I'm afraid of:
1. Spiders
2. Spiders in the shower
3. Spiders in my bed
4. Losing my hair, teeth, hearing, vision
5. Not achieving my dreams
6. The dark
7. Death; not my own, but others'

There you have it. Hope you learned something, I did. I didn't realize I couldn't fly until I tried it this morning after breakfast. Hmm. Doesn't seem quite fair.

My New Privacy Policy

It occurred to me recently that I am an open book. I don't keep anything about myself private; every aspect of my life is told to someone. I keep some things from some people, but I tell them other things that I don't tell other people. Some people I tell practically everything and what I don't tell them I manage to tell someone else.

I realize that being an open book isn't necessarily a bad trait. It could be worse, I could be completely closed and secretive. I understand that I develop relationships with people through communication and that sharing parts of my life is a way to become closer with someone. That's all good.

The problem is that I can't seem to keep some things to myself. In the past few months there have been things that I have shared that I wish I hadn't; things that only I could understand because they were my feelings, something I had experienced that was special only to me, or just really personal. I'm reminded of a scripture, Luke 2:19, "But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart".

So, I'm still going to be quite open about myself and my life, but I'm going to keep some things to myself and just ponder them in my heart. I'm already improving; I have one thing (just one) that I haven't told anyone - not even my mother! I had a couple more, but I ended up telling her on the way to Vernal this past weekend.