Friday, February 15, 2008

My Valentine

Even though I'm usually single on Valentine's Day, I have never hated the holiday. It ends up being a day like any other except for the fun graphics on Google and MSN. Maybe a chick flick with friends to make me feel depressed, in a good way. In my thirty years on this earth I've only had a boyfriend for V-Day twice until last night. The first time was in 1995 and it was with my first love, Keith. If I remember correctly, my friend Missy and I made dinner for our boyfriends and we ate it at my house. I think Keith gave me a couple roses and a card. I think. The second time was ten years later when I dated Adam the first time. He had to work on V-Day, so I took him a little present (a book, I think), and we chatted for a little while. A couple days later he took me to dinner. So, all-in-all, my experiences with boyfriends on V-Day have been quite nice.

Last night, Anthony blew me away. Again.

When he came to pick me up for dinner, I opened the door to see him standing there (looking amazing!) with a huge grin, a huge teddy bear, a huge heart-shaped box of chocolates, and a dozen red roses! I couldn't believe it. He later said that the look on my face was totally worth having to save up for a few weeks. He told me he's never had a girlfriend on Valentine's Day and he wanted me to feel special. Say whatever you want about me because of it, but it felt incredible to have someone do that for me. I'm not used to being pampered by guys, I don't need it, but Anthony pampered me last night. It wasn't just the presents; it was him making sure I didn't slip on the ice, dishing up my ice cream for me (we had dinner and watched a movie at his sister and brother-in-law's house), holding my hand during the movie (finally!), looking at me like he couldn't take his eyes off me, not wanting to stop talking to me even though he had to wake up in less than four hours, holding me a little longer and a little tighter at the end of the night, telling me he loves me with a little catch in his voice. I felt like the luckiest woman in the world and couldn't believe that a guy so wonderful likes me so much.

I feel like I'm at the top of the roller coaster again, just about to fall, and the only thing holding me back is fear. I'm afraid to fall again, honestly. And yet, I can feel the strain on the cord holding me back, and it won't be long before it snaps. Heaven help me when it does. Seriously.

You never know, though, I may get impatient and just cut the dang thing myself.