Thursday, February 14, 2008

What A Crazy Life!

*I just want to warn you that I'm turning comments off for this post. I'm writing somethings that I can't believe I'm going to write, and the only way I'll be brave enough is to turn off the comments.

Do you want me to tell you something absolutely C-R-A-Z-Y???

I have a boyfriend.

Yep, it's true. I am dating someone. I am someone's girlfriend. I am in a relationship. I have a boyfriend! Crazy!!

I'm sure you can guess who it is. If not, check out this post, or this post, or this post, or this post, or even this post.

Yes, it's Anthony. Don't ask me how it happened, because I seriously don't know. I mean, I can tell you all the events that have happened, everything that was said and done, but I'm still fuzzy about how they all have rolled up into me having a boyfriend.

As you know, I've had a crush on him on and off since Nov./Dec. 2006, and I've always (even since the first time I met him) thought he was very attractive, but nothing ever happened. My boss has said for years that he thought Anthony liked me, but since Anthony wasn't doing anything about it, I didn't believe him. He'd come into the office every few months, we'd flirt, then I wouldn't see him again for awhile. Then I fell in love with someone else and didn't want anything to happen with Anthony, though I did go on a date with him during that time because I had agreed to months earlier, before Adam. Once Adam and I broke up, I almost rebounded with Anthony, but fortunately, common sense restrained me - rebounds are usually quite unhealthy.

Here's where the fuzziness creeps in. I'm not sure how Anthony went from popping into my life every so often to us dating. Something must have happened in his mind that I don't know about. Anyhoo, from September to December of last year, I saw him a small handful of times. Each time we'd flirt, talk, and laugh a lot, but he never asked me out. I made the logical conclusion that he wasn't interested in me.

Then the week before Christmas, he IM'd me and asked me out on a date. I tried to pretend I wasn't as pleased as I was, but I really was. On that date, he talked about all the things in the future he wanted us to do, like we'd be spending a lot of time together. He asked me out for New Year's Eve, and, as many of you know, he ended up kissing me at midnight. Yeah!! I figured this meant things were going to start going somewhere, but then it stalled. I went awhile without seeing him for various reasons; work, he got sick, his uncle died, etc. Doubts started creeping in, and I wondered if the kiss was just a token New Year's Eve kiss.

If I didn't tell you, you wouldn't realize that at this point in the story I had to pause and try to figure out what happened at this point, it's that fuzzy in my head. We went out a couple times fairly close together (especially considering our 1st, 2nd, and 3rd dates were each separated by months), but he didn't kiss me again and didn't even hold my hand. However, he did hug me at the end of each date. I finally accepted that he might like me a little bit but because of shyness and inexperience (according to his sister), he was just taking things slow. I was okay with slow.

So, imagine my surprise when this past Saturday, after spending an enjoyable evening together eating, talking, laughing, and watching movies without cuddling or holding hands, Anthony gave me a nice long hug, kissed me softly, and dropped the "L" word. THE "L" WORD, PEOPLE! As in, "I l*** chocolate" or "You l*** to look at the stars". It absolutely blew me away. Heck, it still blows me away when I think about it!

Yesterday, I got a call from a mutual friend, a woman who works with Anthony and who I met when I tested the hearing at his work. She told me back then (September) that she thought Anthony liked me, and I admitted to having the occassional crush on him. Well, she left a voice message saying this week Anthony kept mentioning his girlfriend at work and she finally asked who it was. He looked at her like she was a tad slow and said, "You know her, it's Julie" and she was so excited she did a little jig (her word, not mine). I was a little surprised by "girlfriend", but then I usually am. It always seems like the guy thinks of us as girlfriend/boyfriend before I do. Not that I mind, I just don't get to that label very quickly. Anyway, it was a nice surprise. A bit mind blowing, though.

Last night, he texted me and asked to show me the four trucks he'd like to buy. Afterwards, we ate and he helped me with my sign language homework (he's deaf, remember). Throughout the evening, he repeatedly referred to me as his girlfriend. It sounded nice. As it got closer to 10, he kept saying he should go home because he works really early, then he'd start talking about something else. I was pleased because it seemed like he didn't want to go, that he'd rather be with me, even if it meant getting less sleep. I'm like this when I like a guy, so it was kind of nice to have it reciprocated. Finally, I insisted he go home, trying to be considerate of his need for sleep, even though I wanted to keep talking to him. He hugged me tightly and for a long time, kissed me, talked some more, kissed me again, and said that he loves me. It wasn't quite as big of a shock as the first time, but it still floored me a little. Of course, the rest of the night I couldn't stop thinking and was pretty much floating on cloud nine.

I just realized something; I've never really told you much about him except that I find him incredibly attractive. There's more to him than looks, of course. So, here's a "quick" rundown of Anthony:

Physical: Tall - definitely over 6' - I have to stand on my tiptoes to hug him, with him bending down a bit. He has long, wavy, dark blond hair, a neatly trimmed beard, blue eyes (I'm pretty sure! yikes!), medium build, nice hands, and a great smile. What can I say? He's hot.

Personality: Talkative. This pleases me to no end. He loves to tell stories and crack jokes. He also asks me questions about myself and is very open to answering my questions about him. He has a great memory and often surprises me when he remembers things I told him years ago. A gentleman. No, he doesn't always remember to open the door for me (most of the time, though), but he makes up for it in many other little ways that I won't go into right now for the sake of brevity (too late!). Funny. He makes me laugh so hard and so often. He also laughs a lot, a good sign. Masculine. Seriously, he's a man through and through, for good and bad. Sometimes I think, "Uh, he is such a man", and other times I think, "Ahhh, he is such a man!". Catch the difference? Again, I won't go into more detail, just take me at my word. He's certainly not perfect, but I think he's pretty great.

So...I know what you've been wanting to know...I've been evading your question on purpose. No, I don't love him. Not yet. I'm not sure I'm ready to fall in love again so soon after the last time. However, I really like Anthony a lot. I look forward to the times I get to be with him and always enjoy the time we spend together. In short (ha!), I may not be ready to love him, but I'm on the path that could lead to it. And, I'm okay with that. Yes, it makes me nervous, but in an excited, happy way.

And, to top it all off...I have a date for St. Valentine's Day! Yeah!!

Life sure keeps you on your toes!