Friday, May 09, 2008

A Tale of Two Theories

As I'm turning 31 next week, I've been thinking a lot about this past year in my life. I realized that since turning 30 last year until now, I've had more significant interactions with men than in the whole decade or so before (only a slight exaggeration, unfortunately). Here's a summary, in case you haven't been keeping track (shame, shame):

It started just a couple weeks before my birthday last year when Adam informed me that he was interested in me AND I went on a blind date with Nolan. Nolan was nice, but nothing happened. That was okay because, as you all know, things progressed quite nicely with Adam for a few months, 'til we broke up. During the time I was dating Adam, I also had a date with Anthony AND got hit on by various men on my cruise to the Caribbean, including a very attractive waiter who aimed for my lips but ended up kissing me on the cheek/jaw. After Adam, there was an extremely brief thing with Lincoln, but I quickly realized that he and I weren't well-suited for each other. There were many offers from friends and family to be set up with guys, but none of them panned out. No problem. In November, Anthony started coming back on the scene and right before Christmas we went on our second date. We eventually started dating more regularly, even talked about marriage a little (mostly he did, I just said we'll see). And who could forget the Colorado incident last month? Shawn and Fred made the weekend very interesting, especially Shawn. Those kisses still make me blush and smile a little. Sigh.

Anyway, as I reflected back on all these experiences, I wondered what this next year is going to hold for me, romantically-speaking. I came up with two "theories". In a year, we'll see which theory was proven most correct. Here they are:

Pessimistic Theory
This theory states that the universe decided that my 31st year (the year I was 30) would make up for the extremely dry, and partially self-inflicted, romance desert that I'd been in for the previous several years. During this year, more or less, I'd have lots of fun, interesting, hard, challenging, and rewarding experiences with menfolk. Then, when the year was up, more or less, the experiences would dry up and vanish forever. I'd be a blossom that only bloomed once, for just one year.

There is some evidence that this theory could end up being correct. The most obvious is the fact that I broke up with Anthony last night. Coincidence that it happened right before my birthday??? You decide. There are a couple guys on the "fringe", but maybe they'll all disappear this next week or so. I guess only time will tell.

Optimistic Theory
This theory states that the universe chose my 31st year (the year I was 30) to be the start of many wonderful experiences with men, mostly because I had finally started to come to terms with my fear of vulnerability and inability to trust men. As my mental/emotional status improved, the universe introduced me to opportunities to grow as a woman and to learn what I want in a man. Each successive experience helps me prepare for the next, helps me enjoy it, helps me grow from it. So, when I turn 31, the experiences from the previous year will lead me to more, fulfilling, enjoyable experiences with guys 'til someday (in this year or in some future year) the timing will be right and I stumble across the man who I choose to be with for all eternity.

There is some evidence that this may be the correct theory. Shawn has re-entered my life, though it may prove to be a brief reappearance. He said he's thought about me all month and is still interested if I am. I am.*** He seems like an interesting guy, and I'm inclined to learn more about him. And, if nothing comes of it, so be it. It'll be another interesting experience.

Shawn isn't the only possibility. There are a couple others I know of, plus there could be others I could never even dream of just waiting to be fulfilled. That's the beauty of the future...untold possibilities!!

***Please don't think I broke up with Anthony because Shawn came back on scene. They are two separate events that have only the slightest hints of connectivity.

As a rampant optimist, I naturally tend to lean towards the latter theory. However, having been burned before because of my optimism, I try to swing back to the former, just so I'm not let down if men experiences really do dry up this upcoming year. So...I end up right in the middle. No matter what happens with guys this next year, though, I've really had a good time this past year. I don't regret a thing and wouldn't redo one moment. (I almost said I'd have let Sunil kiss me on the cruise, but I know I wouldn't have...I had a boyfriend! Don't you dare mention Colorado!! Those were two completely different circumstances, even though they seem similar!)

Now all we have to do is sit back, see what happens, and enjoy the show. Anyone have some Raisinets?


Mellissa Hunt said...

I think your "rampant optimism" is what makes you so likeable - it's how all those guys go ga-ga over you. You never let a past relationship automatically sour the next one on your path.

Maybe this year is the beginning of it all for you. Maybe your love life happens in spurts. Who knows? What matters is the attitude you take with it. And yours seems to be in the right direction. I think it's how you are happy with who you are.

tearese said...

OH Julie. Thats all I have to say about that.
I think growing up in Utah we come to expect romance in our twenties or teens, but in the rest of the world, people don't think seriously about relationships until they're about 30...whether thats good or not I can't say.
But that being the case, I would expect your romance life will keep blossoming.

James and Melissa's Family said...

I will totally agree with the two previous comments. Kudos to you both, you took the words right out of my mouth.

I think that your optimism is go great! And why not have optimism? You are still young and have plenty of guys or will have plenty of opportunities to date. I think that the right man is out there just waiting to see your sparkling face. I will happen. Keep the Faith!

Cardine said...

Hmmm... maybe it's your optimism that attracts the guys to you! I should try that optimism thing sometime. :)

warnser said...

I hope May and your 32nd year are amazing!
any word on the condo?
I'm sorry to hear about your break-up.
I'm happy to hear of your options.

I hope Anthony is doing ok,
and I hope he decides he'd like to be the kind of man you'd want anyway. This is not to say that you should get back together,
more that you want good things,
and you should have them.
and I hope you get them in a way that works out great.


julie said...

Thanks for all the positive comments, everyone. I'm feeling pretty low right now, but I know I'll be okay.

I just really miss Anthony. He's such a nice guy and really had potential. We had so much fun together. In my mind, I know it was the right decision, but my heart aches.

So, now I'm just trying to stay busy. I have a few jobs this week (I'm currently in Price), and it's my birthday, so I have a lot to do this week to keep my mind off of the breakup. Thank heavens.

Thanks again, you guys for being so nice. I'm so lucky to have great friends. You guys are the best!!!

julie said...

P.S. Warnser, I DID hear a little about the condo today. My lender called this morning and said everything went through on my end (i.e. I'm approved for the loan) but there are a few things that need to be taken care of on the seller's end. He said everything could be done by the end of this week. As long as it's done before the end of the month, that's all I care about - I need to be out of my apartment by June 1!

tearese said...

happy birthday!

Booklogged said...

Raisinets! I need buttered popcorn and milk duds for this show!