Thursday, December 17, 2009

A Confession and Sam

A week ago I signed up for Match.com.

Whew. That was like ripping off a band-aid...painful at first but easier as time goes on.

I won't go into the reasons I decided to abandon my previously firm stance of not joining an online dating site. Or why I chose match.com versus any other site, including ones that purportedly cater to my religion. Suffice it to say, it was a spontaneous decision that has led to some surprising results.

For example, Sam! He wasn't the first guy to notice me, but he was the first to email me instead of "winking" at me. I like a guy with initiative, so I was impressed that he had skipped the "I think you're interesting but I'm too shy/nervous/timid to do anything but wink" phase and jumped right into "I'm interested enough take a risk, put myself out there, and email you". I emailed back and for a week we had a nice email conversation.

I felt a connection pretty early on. He seemed intelligent, witty, and kind - traits I look for in a guy. He asked me good questions about myself, which is an easy way to endear yourself to me, or almost anyone for that matter. On Sunday, he suggested exchanging phone numbers and gave me his. I hesitated to give him mine. Not that I wanted to keep things strictly email, in fact, I was happy he wanted to move away from the computer. I worried because I tend to sound like an idiot on the phone. My normal quirky, talkative, charming flirtations sound stupid when not face to face. However, I got over it and gave him my phone number. He called me Monday right after 5pm, but I couldn't talk right then, so I called him later that night. We chatted for a couple hours and set a date for the next night; i.e. last night.

He lives 45 minutes south of me and offered to drive to my town for our first date. I appreciated that. In fact, I appreciated all the little things that he did throughout the date that were chivalrous and gentlemanly. We ate dinner at one of my favorite restaurants and had a lively conversation about all sorts of things. He's really easy to talk to and has interesting stories to tell - he's had some pretty cool life experiences. Afterward, we drove to the bowling alley but were turned off by the 45-minute wait to get a lane. Instead, we went back to my house and played Wii bowling and tennis. I killed him at both. Bwa ha ha! Eventually we partnered up at tennis and killed the computer's team multiple times. Bwa ha ha! We started getting pretty silly and almost lost a match, so we decided to stop and just talk before he headed home.

When it came time for him to go, there was that awkward "what's going to happen at the door" moment. He leaned in, I went for the hug, he went for the kiss. D'oh! He stuck around, though, so I knew he was going to give it another try - I'm really impressed that he didn't give up. At one point while we were chatting, he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, keeping me there for a bit while we talked. I had to look up (because of how I was leaning against him...he's actually barely shorter than me) at him while we talked and noticed him glance at my lips several times. I mentally prepared myself for a kiss, but he moved too slow. When he moved in for the kill...I mean, kiss...he did it so casually that I wasn't sure he was really going to kiss me, and I went for the hug again. Double d'oh!

Hello. My name is Julie. I'm 32 and a total dunce when it comes to kissing. I've been promised opportunities to practice...*blush*. Ahem.

He left this time, though at one point, as he stood in the doorway, he made a move that looked like he might make a 3rd attempt, but then he stopped himself. I felt stupid, so I emailed him as soon as he had left, knowing he wouldn't get it right away. I apologized for being so nervous at the end of the date and assured him that I wasn't opposed to him kissing me, if he wanted to. He emailed back awhile later and said that he did want to and that I shouldn't worry about what had happened - he hadn't wanted to rush me and would totally wait until I was ready if it made me feel better. I replied that it wouldn't. I told him that it has been awhile since I've been kissed really well, so I'm just a tad nervous that I won't know what I'm doing. Waiting would only make me more nervous. This is when he wrote back and promised to give me lots of practice if I wanted. *cheesy grin*

Hello. My name is Julie and I'm a bit of a hussy.

Before the whole scene at the door, Sam asked me if I wanted to go on another date with him. I said I did and we set a 2nd date for this coming Tuesday. Even though he offered to come up again, I said I'd go down for this date. I'd like to see his place, and he offered to cook for me. :)

So, even though I'm still cautious about this whole online dating thing, I'm glad I did it. I can't imagine how I would have ever met Sam otherwise. I'm not saying he is The Guy...it's way too early and there's a lot more to find out about him, but he has potential, especially for friendship if nothing else works out. And, there are a couple other guys, one especially, that have potential. Both live within a couple hours of me and one has already given me his email address and phone number and hinted at getting together. This is a lot more fun that I thought it would be.

*cheesy grin*

9 comments:

Mellissa said...

I'm glad you found someone you can have good conversation and laughter with. Who cares if you met online or not? You're not going to run off with him...or are you? ;)

Framed said...

I think you should just do a little hussy dunce, I mean happy dance.

KieraAnne said...

Good for you! That hug thing totally sounds like something I would do... ;) Let us know how the next date goes!

Kate Weber said...

LOL, I love Framed's comment. I'm so happy for you! :D I hope you have so much fun on your second date! Be sure to fill us in if anything exciting happens. :D

Sarah said...

Wow! What a great story! I'm so glad you shared.

I don't consider your behavior hussy-like; why do you? (You don't have to answer here.)

And I actually would like to know your reasons that you didn't go into of why you decided to join an online dating site.... but I can wait to talk to you in person! See you next week!!

julie said...

Missy, honestly, I thought it would really bug me to tell people that I met a guy online, but it doesn't any more. Um...I'm not planning on running off with him...we'd probably fly since he works for an airline and gets awesome travel benefits. :)

Framed, that was hilarious! You're so clever! And, I AM doing a happy dance!

Kiera, thanks! I'll keep you updated, for sure!

Kate, thank you...I'm pretty happy, too. And, I'm pretty sure something exciting is going to happen the next time I see him (which may be sooner than Tuesday).

Sarah, I don't really think I'm a hussy...just being silly. And, I'm looking forward to telling you the whole story next week! Really, I'm mostly looking forward to seeing you!

Melissa said...

How exciting! I think that it is great that you have hit it off so far and have more upcoming dates in the works. Have a GREAT second date!

Adam said...

Maybe a hussy, but at least you're not a BRAZEN hussy.

Heh.

Glad you're giddy. It makes me laugh.

tearese said...

Wooo hoo! Sounds like match.com was a good choice! I'm glad I finally got to read about the date!