Ropes

*A post about my recent cruise is in the works. In the meantime, I thought I'd share with you something a little personal.

For the last few months, I've been struggling. Something happened awhile ago that just crushed me, and I haven't been able to get out from under it. I still find a lot of pleasure in life (especially while looking at the view outside my condo), but I can tell that I'm not the same happy person I usually am.

To totally mix metaphors, I also feel like I've been in a huge crater and can't get out. Actually, I haven't really been trying to get out. Instead, I'm standing in the middle of the crater at the edge of a huge abyss - so deep that all I can see is darkness. And, I've been preparing to jump.

It's been said that when you're at your lowest point you're potentially at you're most humble point, too, and so more receptive to divine guidance. I'm pretty sure I'm not at my lowest point (I'm sure it gets a whole lot worse than where I am), but I've been pretty low. Enter in the divine guidance.

Seriously, on Monday, the number of eye-opening, soul-revealing, getting-hit-with-a-2x4 experiences was a little overwhelming. One came because of a fight with a friend. I learned I need to trust people, especially men, more. Another came from a friend's blog that made me realize that I need to look for and believe in the good in myself (especially my appearance). I also really admire this person's ability to find beauty in others and I want to develop this quality in myself. I had an epiphany while driving Bertha and the Beast to a job (this won't surprise many of you - especially my mom); I need to be a more humble second-in-command at work. History and literature abound with stories of 2nds that get too big for their britches, I don't want to be this way. I want to be the loyal, faithful, helpful 2nd who lifts up her leader and helps him accomplish his goals.

Finally, I need to be a more unselfish friend, daughter, sister, etc. The last couple of days, many people in my life have shown me what it means to love, to be a good friend, to be a good person. They have been the ropes that helped me pull away from the abyss and that are helping me climb out of the crater. I know it may be a long climb, but I finally have the desire to climb and the hope that I can do it.

To all the ropes in my life, thank you. Thank you for your patience, for not giving up on me, for loving me, for helping me with the big stuff and the small stuff. You inspire me to be a better person.

I've always felt that the greatest blessings Heavenly Father has given me are the people in my life. The last couple days have proven it.